Everything-random post

I'm at a state where every song I listen to now sounds nice.

The songs in my windows media library are great. *thumbs up sign* very proud of myself that I've finally compiled a reasonable amount of songs which all I enjoy listening to.
I think I know how to know if I found someone who shares the same taste as me. Asking them to judge my song library!

Super random.

Anyway, here are some random photos which may or may not have relevance to one another.

Enjoy this random post.


this is a picture of kim and other ppl looking very happy :-



this is a picture of me being squashed by some big dudes from my class in high school. you can see my pitiful face if u look closely enuff. =( :-



this is a picture of praveen, tk and i in Kuching airport waiting for the plane back to KL. Who says 3 dudes cannot camwhore together too? :-



this is a group picture of the Kuching guys and 3 KL guys in one of the Kuching guys' penthouse. Thanks for bringing us around! We had fun! :-



this is a picture of my Puma shoes. It was so clean last time. :( It's so dirty and yellow now. Permanent yellow stain. Sigh. how to remove! :-



and this is a blur picture of Vincent Ng dancing with Syahirah! Bwahahaha. He's gonna kill me for this but I dun care. This picture was taken by Jia Xin. :-




ok. end of random-ness.


gdbye all.



-alexeO-

5 Science 1, Class of 2005

It's 6.30am now and I haven't slept cause I stayed up the whole night doing this very clip.

Not only because I am so willing to sacrifice la.
Stupid Nescafe I drank at 12am just is making me super awake now. -__-

Anyway, to my previous school and classmate, 5sc1 students,

This is the best I can do considering I started around 4am and with the limited amount of photos I have.

Yea I know I am supposed to have alot of photos of the class... but.. sigh..

I used to have so so so many more photos but they're all gone!

I cannot find them!
I duno where they all gone to. :(

So this compilation have like almost every photo I got.
Yea, that bad.

I'm gonna make a second photo compilation... so if you guys got any other photos which involves the class, pls do send me!! Thx!

Anyway,
enjoy!

:)


*ps: dun skip any part! watch the whole thing photos to photos. remember to think back of all the stuff we used to do back then! Bwahaha.




Ah.


-alexeO-

I regret, but I'm not sorry.

People do things which they regret later.
And i'm not exceptional in any way.

Some things I regret doing a long time ago really had an impact on me deep down inside even until today.
The disappointment and 'regret' is to an extent of when I actually think of those things I did, I actually will feel like I've screwed up my life in a big way.

I know that there may be good things which came along with the major decisions I made in my life which sometimes may seem like the worst decisions in the world, but I know what I did and I really think I would benefit much more if I had acted the other way instead.

But it's too late to think back now.
Because I know I cannot go back time and change the way I had acted.



For one,

I regret trying so hard to be different last time and trying to live my life in a 'different' way from other people.

This isn't something I did unconsciously like most people will say they do.

It's something which I actually had control over and I actually decided to so-called take the 'road not taken' and 'less travelled by' for the sake of being different, unique, special, and whatever other synonyms relevant.

It's not a matter of not participating. It's a matter of desperation of wanting to be different.

This is definitely not a new characteristic of mine.
It seems that I have been 'trying' since primary school.

When every student makes noise in the class,
I will be the one standing at the door, looking outside, keeping quiet.

When everyone plays 'catching',
I will be the one sitting down at the bench, observing the random surroundings,

When everyone is close to a particular classmate,
I will be the only one in class avoiding to become friends with that classmate.

When everyone uses the left flight of stairs to reach the canteen,
I will be the one using the flight of stairs at the right side.

At the end of the day,
I realised the hard way that being different sucks.

Because of my 'difference', I ended up being a loner for most of my years in school, because I just refused to 'follow the crowd' and make friends with people who have alot of friends.

I ended up not participating in any sports whatsoever which made me to a totally unfit person today.

I ended up being teased, insulted when people spoke about the 'different' boy in the class.

I ended up being more tired after taking the longer route to the canteen.

Nothing awaited me for being different.

Was I unique?

I definitely was, in my own way.

But so is everyone else around me.
The so-called 'normal' people who I refused to become part of.



I also regret wanting to being nice always and ended up being taken advantage of.
Because of this attitude of mine since young, it became some sort of a 'habit' and I just cannot force myself to not be who I am trained myself to be.

I became branded as 'vulnerable' and fun to bully because people know I am not vengeful and will forgive them easily.

Leading from that,
I also actually regret not wanting to defend myself but laugh along when people take advantage of me when I was young.

Because of that, I never learnt the art of standing up for myself.

If I have children, or a younger sibling for example,
My main advices for him or her would be not to be who I wanted to be last time.

There's no reason to 'try' to be different for the sake of being unique because at the end of the day, everyone IS indeed unique in their own ways.

If only I had someone who had told me this earlier.
Hmmm.
I would probably turn out to be a very different boy today.

How would I know?

You know there are somethings in life you are just so sure of but you cannot find the explanation behind it?

And that's just the way it is.



I occasionally tell some of my friends that I regretted some choices I made in my life because it totally made me into a very different person I would have been.

It's no fun, but without regrets, people wouldn't learn.

And I guess this is a phase I will go through in my life.
To remind me and teach me of the simple facts of life.
And how to treat people around me.

I'm honestly glad that I have this will inside me which tells me everyday to try my best to be nice, and not to commit any things which may have a negative impact.

Like not smoking for example.
Or not taking drugs.
Or not hurting people.
Or making people dislike me for some reason.
Or for not having a heart and a soft side.

I sometimes see my peers doing stupid things and wasting their lives.
Lives which certain people in this world will die to replace.

At least I know I'm trying my best to live my life the way it should be.

At least I have regrets to learn from.





-alexeO-

Penang

Penang is a place located somewhere far north in Malaysia.

I already knew this some time ago but was still amused to know majority of the people there speaks hokkien!
The strong-typical-penang hokkien!!

Bwahaha.

Not only the chinese speaks the dialect. Even the Indians and Malays too. Uber hokkien state.

Geng.

I was at Penang last weekend for some chinese festival which no one who reads my blog really cares about.

And of course I just HAVE TO try the famous penang food rite?!

Dem nice!

I went to some of the places which were recommended before in Kenny's blog. Find the post on the Penang Food Guide yourself.

Anyways, I had to try the Char Kuey Teow fried by the apparently rude lady who wears a protective goggles and a shower cap.

And I did find her~
And I managed to try the CKT too!



A plate costs RM5.50.
GASP.

But.. IT WAS DAMN WORTH IT!
3 huge prawns.
And the kuey teow.. super nice. Maybe its in my mind la. But still damn nice.

And the queue was damn damn long ok. Never see before such a long queue for a CKT stall. Got another CKT stall opposite but no one was queue-ing.
O.O sad.

But I not only had to endure the super long queue. I had to endure the super long queue UNDER THE FREAKING RAIN. T_T

Got big umbrellas la for those queue-ing. But those umbrellas got holes one.
-_-
I think it's meant for the sun.

It's also quite farnee to say people protecting the CKT more than they protect themselves.
~_~

But dem nice. I recommend it to everyone!

This isn't really a food guide, and i'm a really lousy 'food-review-person'.

So I shall end this post by stating that the famous road-side Cendol was also super duper nice!
Best I ever tasted.


*hehe*

Yummy.
Dem refreshing for a hot Malaysian day.

Actually there's another pic which I was kinda 'acting cute'.
But I don't feel like posting that. Later kena bash by people. :(

:/

I'll stop here.
ANOTHER assignment due tomorrow!
eep. :|



-alexeO-

A random peek into the past

Today's random peek will be on the year 2005.
My final schooling year, having classmates who some I will definitely remember till the day I die.

emo.

This random peek will feature an image I compiled. It's actually a 'montage' of photos I took of my classmates which was actually done for the sake of the school magazine.

Unfortunately, SOMEHOW, apparently, the school money-minded-idiotic-stupid authorities decided that they didn't want that page or only limited every class to one page or something. So the 'other' page was taken instead.

But that's not the point.

The point is,
this is senior 5 science 1, class of 2005.

Things were different then.
Things were so different then.


Memories. I especially love the Chuang Sing's pic. Super lol.

*click the pic to enlarge*

The only thing I can summarise about this random peek is that,
it's weird how some classmates who were never seen as 'close' are actually closer now.
or, how it's also weird that how some classmates who WERE actually close that year actually drifted apart slightly.

as the world rotates,
so will the people who are living in it.


ahhhh.....


give me my time back.




-alexeO-

I have no true friends


Create your own Friend Test here


Lol.
Grats YKK and KarWai who both scored 70 and currently highest. Although it must be stressed that KarWai achieved that score after doing TWICE. Faggot.

My name is on top to show that it is actually POSSIBLE to score full marks.

Can't help but to be disappointed with my schoolmates.
ALL ON THE VERGE OF FAILING OR FAILED!

YKK was my SAM Pre-U classmate for goodness sake!

Bwahaha.

Actually not really that disappointed la.
I purposely put the questions damn tricky so that people, especially Nick who was claiming he know me so much won't get full marks.

Hehehe. For those of you who hasn't taken the true friendship test yet, do it! click on that image.

Will I find my ultimate true friend?

Hmmm.



-alexeO-

Tagged

-_-

Su Cheng tagged me.
So here it is.

These are the rules: Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

1. i'm colorblind
2. i don't like vegetables but brocolli rox
3. i eat least compared to my guy frens
4. i like working out
5. people laugh at me somehow eventhough i'm not very much of a joker
6. i am very emotional. in a weird way.


and i'm not tagging anyone because no one would bother.

and the joke which will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Q: What do you call an indian driving a ferrari?
A: A thief.

A joke which I happily told my class upon request by my lecturer today and the looks on the faces of the class were priceless. Lol.

After I finished my joke,
Many had 'that' smile still fixed on their face when they should be bursting out laughing already.

You know 'that' smile? The smile where u put on when u are expecting something funny coming up the next second.. the smile of anticipation of a joke.

So the smile remained there.. few seconds later.. it slowly turned into a confused smile.

I had to ask the class if they got it or not, with an incredibly huge grin on my face.

I was forcing myself not to make my face red.
Blood. Don't. Rush. Up. My. Face. Pls.

Another few seconds later.. someone said "ohhh.." I don't know if it was out of politness or courtesy or wat. But an "ohhh.." was still said.

Then a polite laughter erupted around the class.

-_-

Why alex. Why.
When I didn't try, i regret deeply when I go home.

When I actually forced myself to do it to avoid any regrets whatsoever by picking up all my courage I had inside me,
it will turn out like this.

:(

Naw. to be frank, i'm not really sad. Coz i know no one will care about my bad joke or the bad joker by the next tutorial.
I'm just stating how close-to-embarassment i was. ~_~

close-to-embarassment because i wasn't really THAT embarassed somehow. I don't know why. It's pretty much a pleasant surprise~

and if you're wondering why the joke i told was quite racist, it was because we were supposed to say local msian jokes to make the foreigners in my tutorial group understand the 'culture' and politics behind the image of the true malaysian.

paiseh. back to assignment now.



-alexeO-

My assignment

This will be a further rant on my assignment. So you can stop reading here if you don't want to waste the few minutes of ur life.

---

I really don't know what to say about my assignment. What the lecturer will think when he reads it. His first impression. His final impression.

Because I liked how I started it but somewhere in the middle, it got all messy and confusing.

And most lines are like directly from the readings I had to read.

So I'm not even sure if I answered one part of the question or not.
What if I totally got the wrong picture of the question?

What if my essay simply shows that I didnt understand the whole important concept thingy I was supposed to understand.

What if I don't have the key concepts in my essay? :|

It's a little too late to be thinking alot now. I rather do whatever I can now and not worry about the points I've already chosen and done and concentrate on completing the whole damn thing.

Afterall, it's only my very first assignment. I hope there's leniency floating in the air for this time around. I would want to see comments pasted all over my assignment.

I have another one due Thursday. Another reason not to think of what I've already done here.

The best thing now is to just let it be.
I didn't really screw up the whole entire thing.. It just got a few lengthy points which I'm not even sure I put them into context correctly. Whether I related them correctly to the question or not. I spoke quite abit about history of some stuff which I'm not sure whether it's needed or not.

I think it's gonna turn out fine, maybe not the best. But fine. I am sure the lecturer's gonna so obviously see that I don't get some of the key concepts I was supposed to get. Main part of the question not really answered. But it IS answered. And that's what makes it fine.

I think I'm just thinking to much. The fact that I want everything to be perfect in my writings.

All I need know is to complete my final point, add a conclusion, put in my citations, reference lists and a cover page. And if word limit exceeded, find some stuff to cancel.

Sounds simple but those are stuff which requires hours of discipline and work.

I guess I gotta complete it for the rest of the day when I wake up later since it has already past midnight and I gotta sleep for my tutorial tomorrow. Final day to do it. I can't possibly do it on Wednesday, which is the deadline. I gotta start researching on my other assignment which is due Thursday.

It's gonna be another long day in front of the PC tomorrow.
And the day after.

And possibly the day after the day after.

What a crapload week.

And possibly the week after this week too.

I just hope I don't lose my passion for writing at the end of it all.
:/


-alexeO-

It simply cannot be denied

It cannot be denied that no one can ever be contented with what they have.

It cannot be denied that people prefer the tall, handsome and outspoken guy over the short, fat and shy kid sitting at the corner.

It cannot be denied that the world is unfair.

It cannot be denied that good people don't usually get what they deserve in return for their deeds.

It cannot be denied that Alex is pretty behind schedule in completing his assignment.

It cannot be denied that Alex hasn't got a clue on how to answer half of his assignnment.

It cannot be denied that Alex is having trouble to find words in his limited vocabulary mind to complete sentences for his assignment.

It cannot be denied that Alex is feeling worried that the deadline is fast approaching and he is still thinking of words and points for his assignment.



It cannot be denied.
It simply cannot be denied.



The harsh reality of life.
The reality which cannot be denied.


-alexeO-

I failed myself once again

It sounded all great and promising.

Me, going to the university on a Saturday morning, spending time till around evening, doing nothing but completing my assignment which was due next week, on the computer while taking short breaks in between.

My alarm clock rang loudly this morning as planned.
I then opened my eyes.
Snoozed the alarm.
Then closed my eyes.

And my eyes never opened again until it was 5pm.

The very time which I was supposed to be all happy, planning my trip home after printing my assignment and filing them all together.


It isn't even worth sighing anymore.

I've failed myself once again.
I'm so disappointed with myself.

Why.
Why.
Why.


The simplest of questions echoes.


-alexeO-

Elliott Yamin - Wait For You

I don't know if I mentioned it casually before in my blog but, I thought Elliott Yamin from American Idol 5(which was last season) was really good and I wanted him to win so much.

But unfortunately, some grey-haired man won and Elliott ended up being 3rd in the entire competition.

Anyway, he released his album already! His first single sounds good! Happy for him! Hope he does well.

I wonder how the winner is doing in album sales now. Hmm.

Here's the video to his first single, Wait for You!





Oh yea, did I mention that he is also 90% deaf at his left ear and suffering from a quite serious diabetic problem?

Now you know.

What a talent!


-alexeO-

How can I address you?

My Journalism lecturer actually asked us to address him by his given name. As in, just the 2 word chinese name without the surname. Emphasis now is on the fact that I was supposed to do it without the Mr. in front. It awkwardly feels like calling a friend and from my 18 years of shell which I was brought up and grew up in, it simply goes against my morals and ethics.

I am a person who was taught to respect the ones who use up their time noble-ly to pass on knowledge to another person. I just cannot seem to garner the 'courage', if I may use that word to call my lecturer by his chinese given name alone.

It felt so wrong to an extent that today, when I went up to him to ask a question.. I stood there still, staring at his suspicious-looking-what-do-you-want face for a good 5 seconds before I proceeded with my question.

All simply because I was literally forcing myself to call him by his given chinese name. After feeling so stupid for that longest 5 seconds in my entire life, I gave up and then used Mr. (surname).

If you're wondering why I didn't just ignore the name-calling part before my question, that's because it's just rude and I'm a very polite person. You didn't know that?

What a stupid rant, I know. But it's just me.
I just had to get that out of my system.

I don't have a problem with other lecturers because they are all contented with their respective Dr. titles followed by their surnames.
Hey I don't blame them. If I have a PhD cert I would put the Dr. in front of my name at every place possible!

If you actually bothered looking at my MSN's personal message, you can see that I am looking for some company to watch several movies which are all probably a must-watch showing in the cinemas right now.
I'm not really a movie person but occasionally a good movie or two comes around in the cinemas and those are the movies which I make a point to watch.

These are some which may or may not be in the cinemas right now. Pick which one you are interested in to watch with me thx. I'm sure we can plan a date.
:)




or



or



or



or



or

Bridge to Terabithia

or Mukhsin, a new Malaysian movie directed by none other than our very own Yasmin Ahmad. Looks touching.

Wow. 2 posts in 2 days.

Another record set!


-alexeO-

The 251st Post

This is officially my blog's 251th post!
*beams proudly*

I actually expected more posts for my 3-and-half-year old blog but hey, I ain't that much of a blogger anyway.

Very briefly, a little glance to my uni life so far. It has really been great, I'm loving what I'm doing and tutorials are fun because arts students tend to be more active and outspoken, I guess. I'm doing a course which will make people think twice before actually accepting a form of a media as just simple, pure entertainment and that can really confuse people. But it's an EXCELLENT form of confusion!

~_~

and and Teck Eng was damn offensive today! Communications students unite!

Today I drove to SJ after my tutorial to pick him up and grab something to bite with him-lah. Since he always complaining how lonely he is in SJ wat. When he got into the car, he started ranting on the fact that he never self-studied at all yet at that time for the whole day and he felt really guilty about it.

So being the gentle, kind soul I am, I politely told him that not to feel bad since he already had some long hours of classes for the day.. that's enough studying for now..

Then then, you know what he said??

Cannot take it!

"My course isn't like your course you know Alex~ For your course, as long as you got the concept and the basic skills already, you can do your course.. My one needs practice for Math and all you know!"

?!?!??!

SAYING AS THOUGH MY COURSE NO NEED TO DO ANYTHING ALSO CAN PASS LIDDAT.

ZZZZ?!

So it suddenly strikes me lah.

*OFFENDED*
"WHAT U TRYING TO SAY??"

Okla.. I didn't shout that loud. Wasn't that angry also. Said with a smile, and a 'slightly' louder tone of voice.

And he got the nerve just to smile back and giggle at me! Twice summore!

So of course I immediately went to my super-defensive mode loh.

But ehh,
to be honest, my course isn't just all play and no work!
I got a lot and a lot of complex readings to do!
And most of the time, I get out of lectures and tutorials feeling all confused! Because that's the whole damn purpose of the course! Now starting to feel abit paranoid liau when I look at the media surrounding me... like what are the true motives of these media! eep!

But aiyah,
Come to think of it, I think it's pretty typical.

Typical Engineering students thinking they're the cream of the crop just because some guy said that some time ago. Something about engineering students are the smartest of the lot. But hey, most of them have thick-rimmed glasses and can't write interesting reads for nuts! :D
I think the same applies to medical students!! Thinking that they're the best just cause their course requires a higher entry requirement!

Booooo!

And I'm not sore, okay? Just slightly frustrated. Hmmph.

Super Malaysian mentality! Thinking that if your child isn't doing medicine or engineering, you might as well shun from the society because suffering from the embarrassment is alot more worst!
*angry*

ANYWAY,
One of my lecturers got the gears in my head rotating when he suddenly asked me out of thin air whether I aspire to be a journalist.

Hey, I never really did dwell deeply into that surprisingly. It came across as POTENTIAL OUTCOMES several times but it never really did sink into my head.

Journalist Alex Yeo.

!!!!

Why not, right?

I mean I don't think all journalists are broke people. And I wonder if the journalists today actually enjoy what they are doing.

I want to do something in the future which I enjoy but at the same time I don't want it to be something which cannot make me live comfortably. But everyone wants that, don't they? sigh.

It's damn funny actually thinking that I may be a potential journalist in the future. Haha!
But it's currently just my backup plan.

In case several dreams of mine don't work out. :)

I also want to start making short movies. Movies which are 5, 10, 15 mins long. Super inspired by what I saw in Media Studies. And that particular lecturer also has another thing where he encourages students to send in their short movies.

I want, I want!
But knowing me, super unsure whether it'll really work out or not.

But I'll keep you guys posted! Hahaha. Maybe upload it into YouTube one day then post in my blog~ :D

My specific genre isn't gonna be comedy or something funny. I want to go for a serious storyline. One which can sell. Either super touching or super tragic. Super interesting.

Maybe like those Petronas festive seasons ads.
Movies produced by Yasmin Ahmad. Talented!
If you don't know who she is, knock your head twice and google her thx.
She has a blog on blogger too! *click*

Post getting real long.
Enough for today.

Now gonna read my very *stupid* interesting *teck-eng* lecture notes for my course!!

Bwahaha.

-alexeO-

My Presentation Story

I am not one who absolutely dreads presentations either in school, or college.
But when I am asked to present a topic which I am only 50% clear about, it is gonna be a problem.

I spent my whole night reading the entire article back and forth, writing notes in between.
I then woke up early to prepare my 'handouts' on the computer for 2 hours.

And after all that work, I can barely tell anyone what is actually written among those pages.

Media and communication : theoretical traditions. Yea rite, screw you.

For starters, I didn't even know wat theoretical traditions mean. So I had to read the entire 6 long pages of articles to figure that out.

To be honest, I expected presentations to be a breeze in university.
I thought of complex articles but not THAT complex like wat I had!
In fact, it can be argued that my article is the most complex of all 30 articles in the reader. And I HAD to get that topic.

So back to my theoretical traditions.
So after spending many unnecessary minutes reading one INTRO paragraph over and over again, I finally understood it.
Yay for the introduction.
Then came the article.
Which kept repeating some "marxism" word.
Damn it.
I'm not fortunate enough to know what that means.
So I had to do some EXTRA research on the net.
Found out Karl Marx.
Who's dat? Sounds familiar.
EXTRA research again.
And my article is only at page one.

-_____-

Had only 4 hours of sleep until I woke up in the morning(my class was an afternoon class), to complete my handouts which was supposed to be handed to the tutorial group.

Never been so hardworking for quite a while. Spent 2 hours non stop without rest typing what I thought would be appropriate.
My handouts ended up having 5 pages alltogether.

So handouts done.
Had some extra time, so I prepared a paper to ease me in my presentation.
In the end, that piece of paper wasn't referred to at all during the real thing.

So after much work and hassle, I finally drove to the university.
Was late 10 mins. The girl who was assigned to the first reading was halfway through already.
Her handout was ONE sheet of paper.
I feel stupid now.

Then it was my turn,
my tutor, who was also my lecturer asked me to introduce myself.
Asked me for my ambitions..
I told him with a grin on my face, "I don't have a fixed ambition"..
Laughters could be heard around the room.
I liked wat I heard and saw. I think people may just like me. :)

So I sat down at a seat in the front of the class and began my presentation..

It started well..

"Well basically, my reading was on the theoretical traditions of media and communications.. it is the um.... theory behind the media and communications.. and where it was originated from.. and when.."

"The 2 main ... um... approaches were from the European continent and the Americans.. um..."

"and um..."

"um...yeah.. so there were the ideological critiques on media.."

You know my nervous giggle and head scratching when I'm lost? Well I did that. Alot of times.
Laughter occasionally erupted around the class.

And the whole presentation was like that.
I realised how ridiculous I sounded then I finally decided to give in..

"Ahh... sorry this article is pretty complex.. I didn't really understand the thing.. I'm trying my best here.. " (nervous giggle)

My lecturer cum tutor comforted me," nevermind it's ok. i understand this article is pretty complex for first timers"

WOW WAT RELIEF.

At least i dont bear the responsibility now.
At least it cleaned up my very tarnished reputation a little.
Never in my life have I had so many "ummm"s in my presentation before. And even if I did before, it wasn't excusable this time around. Because EVERYONE in my freaking class has freaking good english. (ego-talk) I realised I don't have the upper hand i used to have anymore.
:(

The best thing I had for my presentation was my handouts. -_-

Hey it's not my fault ok that I screwed up the thing.
Even the Unit Guide says MY article 'seems very complex for the first time but repeated readings bla bla bla...'
I don't see them saying that for the OTHER articles!!

So I didn't manage to impress the tutorial group with my presentation.
But at least I can take comfort in knowing that people thought I was funny. Well maybe not in a good way, but they still laughed right! They wouldn't laugh at someone who they don't like.. -_-
I even heard a girl saying "haha cute".
Not the wow-so-attracted-to-you-cute lah.. just the small boy cute.

At least people won't think I'm a snobbish egoistic person!

After my presentation, my lecturer was telling the whole tutorial group what my presentation was about and wat i was trying to say. He did it in such a way I never felt dumb or wrong or put down. It was like he was helping me translate my language into a language everyone can understand. So nice!

And he totally pwned me. Aiyah, lecturer wat. I admit I had doubts over the credibilities of lectures before.. but I got totally proven wrong this time.. they really do know their stuff.
The stuff he told the class regarding my article was done in a way so smooth and understandable!

And wtf.. it seemed like almost EVERYONE knew who Karl Marx was and what Marxism is.
The lecturer was asking everyone in class if they knew anything about those 2 things and there were people actually answering!

I seriously.
am so lost in general knowledge.

There were even several diff answers regarding Karl Marx ideas etc.

It started off when one girl asked me what his ideas were.
Then I said it was something I had to research on myself on the internet because it wasn't in the book.. it has something to do with capitalism.. the economy owned by private sectors.. and something regarding that.

Then another girl who is also a Russian politely corrected me ,"I think he was against capitalism.."

Then boom everyone started answering one after another.

I felt stupid.
And to think I had to RESEARCH ON THE INTERNET when everyone know who he was and wat he did at the tip of their fingertips.

Sigh.

On a positive note,
I'm feeling soooo much better now regarding my university course and life.
Yea I still may not have the mass of friends but at least I can approach people now without feeling super duper shy. All because I've presented in front of them. And they laughed at me.

And the burden of the whole presentation-fright thing which has gotten to me the past week!
All gone!!

:D

It's scary what a preparation for a presentation can do to a person. It actually blocked a few thoughts of mine. Thoughts which are now all free flowing in my mind.

Next headache would be what am i gonna do during the 2-4 hour breaks I have on wednesday and thursday. No friends wat. Wat to do. :|

I suddenly feel like I want to do well in this course.
Determination pls!

And hm,
I should really stop blogging about my university life.

-alexeO-

Further rants

One of my subjects in university this semester is hard-core history!
As in, H-I-S-T-O-R-Y.
Arghh.

If i wan't to comfort myself, I would think at least it isn't super boring kesultanan melayu or some politik perlembagaan shit.

The Contemporary Worlds 1 course I'm taking focuses on the "bigger" things like Hitler and world wars I guess.
(The word ''bigger'' has inverted commas because it's certainly debatable but heck it. I'm gonna use the word anyway)

But still!
I'm not a history person.

I hate remembering facts which brings total no significance to me.
I'm just trying to take the stuff I'm learning as nice, interesting stories and hopefully won't be forced to remember it.

Also, judging from my first week of university, my course has alot alot of reading.
Yea it's a social arts course, so I should be expecting it already.

Not excellent for me because I am not really a reading person.
I read a few books now and then but certainly cannot be considered a book person.

And my mind takes some time to decipher the stuff I read too. Bad news there.
No regrets though because I certainly prefer reading and attempting to understand long texts rather than solving a mathematical question. :)

And yeah, people in my course speaks really good english.
It seems like everyone is capable of writing flawless, magnificient vocabulary essays and won't have a hard time understanding the complex texts. eep~

And and and also damn lame!
I am one of the 3 who gotta present a text next week for my tutorial class!
The problem is,

- I don't freaking know how a university presentation for tutorial topics work.
- The other 2 ppl who will be presenting with me are from the second semester so they totally know wat they're doing. I'm so gonna make a fool out of myself.
- THE FREAKING TEXT FOR MY PRESENTATION IS FREAKING TOUGH. I don't understand it at all.
- And the usual 'stage-fright' problem..
- And the thought of giving a bad first impression of course.
- What if I went total out of topic or said total irrelevant things.

Sigh.

Why me. Out of 25 odd students.
Why me.

Rant ends here.

I feel better now.
Thx blog.


-alexeO-

A Record



Congratulations on being part of the 20,000 who are all surely enlightened and purified by the very presence of this colourful, wonderful blog.

Out of the 20,000, maybe half of that figure came from myself but still! got at least thousands mah. :)

Didn't know my boring life stories can generate such huge numbers!

Out of all my posts, the one where I got caught by the policeman seems to be the favourite among my friends. I came to that conclusion because they kept either making fun of the whole situation or asking me to explain to them what really happened in person. -_-
So seeing me in trouble is pretty entertaining for people, I guess. -.-

I formally started my university life today!
There's nothing worth elaborating though.

I shall continue with my other stuff now.

Thx for visiting my pals.


-alexeO-

It's CNY already

It feels great to have many people thinking that I'm enrolled into a course which has me written all over it. I thought I was the only one who noticed but many of my friends seem to feel the same.

Proudness aside, I actually think it wouldn't be as easy as others think for me to excel in my course because judging from mere first impression, there seemed to be many people who seemed very intellectual and act like good communicators.

So I'll basically end up being the 'average' student again I guess.
:/

The Chinese New Year is here already.
In fact it's the 3rd day of the new year already.

Happy CNY everyone.
I remember last year I had a nice 'house-hopping' with some of my friends to collect extra pocket money. There's a plan to do the same this year but knowing us, I wouldn't be sure that it'll work out.

My only gambling session so far was the one I had with my cousins back in my hometown. There really seems to be limited CNY mood floating around.

Some of my hang-out-buddies have left to pursue their studies somewhere else and the rest seems to be very busy with their assignments and work.

Don't know if I will be going out that often anymore.
Gotta make friends.

Very interested recently to study about the art of feng shui too. I'm not a firm believer, not yet anyway, but I really like to read about myself in words because that's just who i am. What's the harm anyway to see what benefits me as long as I am not required to PURCHASE any stuff.

This post is a reflection of my current emotions.
Dull,
and dry.

Not unhappy, not angry, not sad but there seems to be something troubling me I don't know what.

And that's the end of my post.

Have fun people.


-alexeO-

My Communications Course

I never liked having to defend the things I do or the stuff I take. But there are times when I'm simply forced to do it.

Like my passion for table tennis for example. The cornier and more recognised name would be Ping Pong.
Yea. You heard right. Ping Pong.
The fact that it isn't as physical as many other sports really makes people have an extremely negative impression on that sport.
Inside the minds of those people, it is a sport where you play during family leisure times or times when you have simply nothing to do. It cannot be treated professionally.
Ever since Junior 5, I was registered to the Table Tennis Club. And ever since my name was put into paper, I had to stand up for that sport countless of times. I had to face terrible name callings and defend perceptions like you play ping pong so you are a wuss that kinda thing.

It sucks. But some people just don't get it. The very same unoriginal people who likes jumping on bandwagons and thinks whatever MOST ppl in this world are doing will be the thing they have to and must do.

It's not a matter of opting to be different from the society.
But at the end of the day, it comes to passion and true interest for something you want to do.

And what is wrong by playing a sport which I enjoy. Maybe it can be argued that I am not as good in other more physical demanding sports so I play Ping Pong. That's not entirely false but it can be argued back that you simply suck in a sport which requires reflexes and an eye for speedy balls.

That's the end of my ping pong argument. And just so you know, I'm not that good in Ping Pong anyway. Lol.

The other thing I'm having a hard time defending and explaining is the course I am currently enrolled to in Monash University.

BComn in short. Bachelor of Communication in long.

To be really honest, it isn't my first choice.
To be also really honest, I NEVER HAD a first choice.

Up until last year, I really don't know where my future really lies.
See, I took science subjects during my high school period.

My marks weren't excellent but I insisted and forced myself to continue taking several science subjects during my Pre-University Program because I feel there is where I may lie.

After a year of sufferings and below-par exam results,
I decided that I had enough and the science field is just not for me.

After 18 years of living in this world, I truly found out who I really am. I may have just found out the purpose I was brought to this world.

I'm more of thinker, an analysist, someone who can propose creative ideas from the tip of their fingertips.

That is why, I decided to have the whole transition thing to the Arts field.
It is a little saddening that the Arts field have not a very pretty impression by the general public.
It is often said that the field is for people who cannot do anything else so that is their last resort.
I admit I used to be one of the people.

Yea yea, many people are gonna say I'm starting to defend this course now just because I'm in it.
Maybe it's true, I don't know but it's good to have contrasting views anyway.

I was and maybe still am even a little 'embarassed' of what I am doing?
The very reason for that is how much pressure is put on the society today pushing for professionals like engineers, doctors, etc.

It isn't nice to know that the Arts field do not get much backing from the general public but it's fine.

Because I know that the real people who change the world politically and socially the most are the Arts people.
To learn about International Studies and issues involving the world's society like globalization etc can really be vital. Especially in today's world.

What is also wrong if I want to work for advertising companies? I like to think of how I want to advertise a product. I like people to like me for my excellent ideas on catching one's attention on something.

Is it STUPID and WRONG to NOT have a job which involves curing people or create some new robots?

Who is gonna be the middle man to promote the stuff professionals do anyway?
How are they gonna generate the market so they can earn money?

They need the thinkers.
And there is where I come in.

Maybe because I cannot be the one creating the robot.
But mostly because I like doing it.

Back to the embarassing stigma of the whole issue, I never liked meeting parents these days because the first question which will automatically pop out in their heads would be the "what are you doing now" question.

It sucked.

Because when they ask that question, I will sit up straigher, swallow my saliva and with the most of confidence I can garner in that very short period, say "communications".

And at that every moment when i finish saying that very simply yet long word,
I will instantly wait to see the look on their faces. Their instant reaction. To see any signs of eye twitching or eyebrow raising.

And every single time, I don't fail to notice a change in their expressions.
I'm "lucky" or "unlucky" enough to have friends who do very well in their studies. So naturally, their courses would be those which get most recognition from the public. So NATURALLY also, their parents would expect similiar things from their friends.
I tend to disappoint their expectations, I think.

:)

But many people I talked to regarding this issue told me that all that were bollocks and I was simply thinking too much.
I don't know. Regardless, there ARE still people who think such things.

My 3-day orientation ended today and I was pretty exhausted by the end of it. I didn't attend EVERY single stuff they offered but I think I attended the important ones. Like my course briefing which was very enlightening and nice to see. :)
I am really starting to love what I'm doing.

Stuff like newsroom practice and theory, studying about contemporary worlds and media studies.

I also chosen my elective too. Doing something on American Music and Popular Culture.

Can't wait for my semester to begin already!

Playing a game now.
So I guess the rant ends here.

Thank you for your time
IF you actually read through the whole thing, of course. ;)


edit : oh yea, happy valentine's day too!

-alexeO-

Not Day 3

No. I've decided not to continue posting about my Kuching trip.

Because I'm incredibly lazy.
I may however continue it some other day. :)

I sent off Vincent a night or two ago.
That's the first of my long list of SSC friends flying off to pursue their tertiary studies.

I had a talk with Richmond regarding the friends who might be leaving us and how 'lonely' we will become.

Sooner or later, it will just be 2 of us in Malaysia.

Damn..
Boring.

Orientation starts next week.
Did nothing productive last 2 months.
I could have been a thousand ringgit or so richer already.
But I am not.
Instead, I am probably a thousand ringgit poorer.

Sigh.

University,
here I come.


-alexeO-

Kuching Trip : Day Two

If you find this post boring,

blame Kuching. :P

On the whole, I find Kuching enjoyable not because of the places I went, but because of the company I had there. That's being honest. I was actually in for a pretty dull trip if not for the people I met. So thank God for that.

My travel experience tip would be, if you wanna go Kuching to have fun, don't just stay in Kuching City and expect to have the time of your lives there. Because coming from soneone who spent 5 days in Kuching City, it isn't exactly all fun. :)

Anyway,
Day Two started out with a promise, having Arsenal beating Liverpool 3-6 in Anfield, Liverpool's home that morning. Bwahaha.

Ok seriously,
we woke up reasonably early by MY standards that day, having few of the Kuching people who were also Praveen's college mates picking us up from the hotel. Everything's just so near to each other so we didn't trouble them much, i think.

First thing we did?
Breakfast.
First thing 'uniquely Kuching' we had?
The famous Sarawak Laksa.

Which unfortunately,
I forgot to take a picture of.
Dammit.

When I actually remember, 3-quarter of the Laksa is already gone.

My verdict : Pretty overrated actually. :P Tastes ALMOST EXACTLY the same with the curry laksa we have back here in KL. But that doesn't mean it sucks rite? It's good. Just nothing out of the ordinary. :D

We then went to one of the Kuching gang houses.
Because that is what they pretty much do everyday anyway for fun.
Going to each other houses.
Haha.

I was initially curious how houses would look like there.
To those Kuching people reading the blog, no I did not think of treehouses but more to 'different-styled' houses from the ones we see in KL.
=.=
I just had to be defensive there.

Yeap. Most houses in Kuching, actually looks like this.



NOTHING VERY DIFFERENT RITE?
CAUSE WE"RE ALL LIVING IN THE SAME COUNTRY-LAH THAT"S WHY.

Just because Sarawak and the Peninsular is divided by a reasonably big sea, that doesn't mean their houses will have to look any different rite. :|

We spent some time in the house,
actually... THINKING of what to do. Lol.

Random pics in the house.


Praveen, a friend of his and TK(standing up) looking entertained.


Me, pulling my pants up.

It was pretty funny for the 3 KL dudes because we felt a little bad 'troubling' them, making them think of where should they bring us next.

Conversations made throughout the 5 days went pretty much like this everytime..

"ehh... where to bring them now ah??"

"err.. want to go watch movie??"

"ehh lets go sit the sampan lah"

"dowan lah.. eh where to bring them... let's go eat?"

"what about a movie.."

"let's go eat..."

Tip of the day : When you can't think of anything else to do, bring your guests to someplace where they can munch of food (and actually buy you enough time to think of where to go next).

What the Kuching people told us is that, there's basically NOTHING else to do in Kuching besides eating. So that's wat exactly we did.

We finally all decided to go for a sampan ride on Day Two anyway.
Which was actually a pretty neat experience. :)

One trip to the other side of the river will cost you around RM0.30.
Very long never see such a price for ANYTHING in Malaysia liau.
So was pleasantly surprised lah.

Erm,
There's... actually... nothing... else.... much.. to.. talk.... about.. regarding.. the .. sampan..

So,
these are the photos I took.


A view of the river from the bank where we departed.


The inside of the sampan which a group of us sat in.


Row, row, row your boat..


A view from the 'other' side. Pretty nice huh.

That night,
we went to Sportsplanet Kuching.
To play futsal.
Yes. Sportsplanet have a branch in Kuching.


Futsal.

I didn't play though. Cause I'm 'kaki bangku'.
And I dont want to risk embarassing myself that night infront of my new friends.
So I opted for the wiser option of not playing. =)

What else, what else.
Ah.
That night, after the futsal,
the 3 of us went back to our hotels to change.


3 vain pots.

and,
Diana asked us out for dinner cum supper.
Praveen joined his friends while TK and I joined Diana.
Oh yea, Praveen's college mates are Diana friends too!
So they basically know each other. So hanging out won't be a hard time.

ANYWAY,
Diana brought her younger sister along and we... basically.. ate lah.
I ordered Char Kuey Teow because I wanted to see if they are any different from the KL CKT.
It's pretty much the same.. their portion's a little bigger though. Maybe just that shop lah. I shouldn't really generalise.
Price should be a little cheaper.


Diana(who wants to see her photo on this blog) and her sister, Sandra. Haha.


Kuching CKT.

Shit I don't know what else to say.
Day Three will be a little more interesting, I think.
:/

Sry for wasting your time.
It's Kuching I tell you!
Grr.


Day 3: The eating day, up next!
-alexeO-

Kuching Trip : Day One

It was one sunny afternoon(i think), when Praveen called me up and asked me whether I would want to join him, a few friends, and Teck Kuan on a trip to Kuching.

I didn't give him a direct answer then, but I ultimately refused anyway.
Few days later of doing nothing, I regretted refusing the offer, so I went and tell Praveen I would want to go and if it's possible.

Be it fate or what, Praveen hasn't booked the tickets at that time.
So I could actually still go.
I later also found out his friends couldn't join him for the trip..

So who finally boarded the plane to Kuching?




Us.

I must also mention that it was pretty unfortunate that I didn't take many photos on Day One as we arrived around dinner time and I was also extremely tired. Stupid plane rides.

So this is gonna be a boring Day One post.

blah.

Diana, a kuching resident who studied in the same college with me last year, was on the same plane with us! She came to KL to sell her books and to settle some uni stuff. We flew to Kuching with her. -.-


Diana and TK.

People often get curious how sitting AirAsia is like.


AirAsia. Now everyone can fly.

For me, AirAsia is like any other plane. The only exception is that they do not serve food.
They SELL them. Just like a ride on a plane without any extra services. And when I say extra services, I do not mean EXTRA services thank you.



RM7 Nasi Lemak. Praveen had it on the way home and loved it.

Approximately 1hr and 40mins later,
ears clogged and hurting with the pressure,

I finally got to set my tired feet on East Malaysia.

It was my very first time. On the Kuching International Airport runway.
I wanted to take a pic of the plane which I was on but as I was beginning to slide my camera out from its pouch, a big group of people unknowingly strode by in front of me.
I immediately slid my camera back into its pouch.

It wasn't long before I realised that hey.. this is really happening.

I'm in the famous Catcity.. where residents often joked to each other on how the "KL people" think they still live on trees.. where Teh-C-Peng is the morning drink for the adults and children alike.. where shopping isn't exactly fun and mamak(s) hardely seen,

Omg.




i AM in Kuching!


Day Two up next. :)




-alexeO-

Kuching is 'cat' in Malay with an extra 'h'

I got back from Kuching yesterday with Praveen and Teck Kuan after spending around 4-5 nights there.

In brief, Kuching's a nice little quiet, clean town/city.
Everything's just so near to each other. Friends, over there are generally closer too as they all live in the very same town just minutes away from one another.
It's like having the whole of my classmates staying in Subang Jaya for example.

I realised too I have not been blogging recently because nothing seems to be blogging-material.
Anyhow,
My next few posts shall be on my wonderful Catcity experience featuring of course, the wonderful people and food of course. :)

Kuching-in-brief which I may elaborate futher :-

Sat in a 30cents sampan in Kuching River

Kolo Mee.

Had 3 18-yr olds under one small gay flower-printed umbrella under a heavy rain

Laksa.

Met Kenny Sia

Kampar Mee.

To be honest, the Kuching people were right.
There's nothing else much to do besides eating and hanging out with friends.
But come to think of it, that's basically what anyone will do anyway regardless where he or she is living.

Oh well.
Photos up soon.


-alexeO-

Goodbye 2006

What an eventful year.

Seriously.

My first year out of school and I absolutely cherish it.

It was the year which I personally feel I've grown alot mentally and maybe to a certain tiny weeny extent, physically as well. :)

It's funny how much I learnt this year relative to 2005 which was a horrible year for me but a year which I didn't learn as much as this year, 2006.

For the first time in my life,
I feel like I'm maturing.

No. I am not saying that I'm fully matured.
I'm still useless and afraid of many things normal adults arent afraid of.

But I can FEEL that I'm maturing.
Which is a great feeling, of course.

Now,
I have a funny feeling in my heart which maybe, just maybe is a signal of me not wanting this year to end.

Because come next year, 2007, which is tomorrow,
things are gonna be different.

I had a half-class gathering dinner just now where I met some of my former high school classmates.
I felt nothing then. No sadness, no excitement, no emo-ness,

but come a few hours after the dinner,
I started to think of how much I took things for granted and that those people whom attended the dinner were the real people I can trust and have fun with.
People who I don't mind showing the REAL side of me and not pretend to be someone I'm not.

I actually missed them. Past tense.
A little bit.
But a bit is still a bit.

And I actually think I AM GOING to miss them. Yes. Future tense.

I found out that I really enjoyed myself making conversations with those people who I never thought was of much importance to me last time.

Of course, there are always the special specific few who I really feel very very upset when I think of how little I'm gonna meet them in the near future but I'm not naming any names. :)

On another note,
good luck Chrisanne who will be leaving in 2-3 days time to Australia for her uni studies.
And yea, I know you're probably guessing already, so yep.

she IS one of the few people who I really am gonna feel upset after thinking of how little I'm gonna see her again, how little I'm gonna hear her tease me, how little I'm gonna see her smile which always meant so much, how little I'm gonna see her intentionally ignoring me, how little I'm gonna hear her complaining how much pressure she got from a certain lecturer, and how little I'm gonna taste the product of her bakings.

I just shed a tear typing that.
Shit.

I hope no one misunderstands.
She may look like she meant alot to me but she's a good fren of mine and nothing more than that.
She may not seem to be backing me 100% all the time but she was there for me at the most crucial moments.
The time when I lost my dog.
Or some other time when I was upset.

I don't know what else to say but once again,
good luck Chrisanne.

And if you come telling me that the leaving-to-Australia is all a joke(like how you bluffed me u were going overseas last year),
I'll actually thank you for that. Because I think I may prefer to suffer embarassment from typing all this than to have one less friend to depend on.


I believe to mature is a stage where people learn how to overcome things they did not dare to overcome and for me,
I believe I matured a little more today.

Because, I didn't dare to post how much friendships may mean to me last time because I was afraid of what people may think of me being such a loser.
But now I believe that those who do not think the same are the real losers no one currently needs in the society.



Happy New Year everyone.


-alexeO-

my SAM results

(10:52 PM) -sirnsirn-: SAM is easy. jz needs super hardwork
(10:52 PM) -sirnsirn-: lazy boi like u, still can depend on luck and best wishes from ppl like me

I was talking to Kim on Messenger when I suddenly ranted to her about how I was feeling for my results which will be released the following day.

She then tried comforting me(i think), and then made a point which was so true.

She's right.
SAM isn't a tough course(i wouldn't say easy), but one would need to get through it with alot of hardwork.

And hardworking is not an adjective which can be used to describe me.

So what can I do now when my results are coming out in a couple of hours time?
Pray, I guess.

A friend of mine 'preached' to me about how he wasn't feeling worried about his SAM results because whatever he achieved is determined by God and how God wants him to travel a certain path or something or for some reason.

It was comforting for a little while, until I got back to my actual senses and realised that I'm not much of a religious person anyway and began doubting everything. (i'm not stating any religious stands here of myself in case u're mistaken)

So now I have to start praying,
and really hope that..
for the sake of
my family,
my close friends,
and
myself..

My exam luck is there again this time around.

Yes. The same exam luck which which was there for my UPSR, PMR and to a certain tiny weeny extent, SPM and of course not forgetting my driving exam. -_-

I told Kim how I hoped that 'luck' of mine isn't all used up.
But I really don't know.
I know I shouldn't really depend on LUCK instead of my own personal ability but I can't help it.
I also know that I shouldn't be saying out loud how I had this exam luck with me for the past few years even if it's true or not.

Results, results.
Happy faces, gloomy gazes.
That's a rhyme for you and me.

I'm excited.
Let's just hope my parents take it lighter than I expect them to.
:)

One important rule, Alex.
CANNOT CRY PLS NO MATTER WAT!


-alexeO-

I'm a lousy friend

When a friend you have not met for several months asks you,
"so.. u still going to the gym or not?"

you will be struggling to put on ur best smile, and forced to keep a straight face.

at that very moment, you will also tend to sit up slightly straighter and breathe in a little bit harder.

not forgetting having ur face jerk out ever so slightly.

then you will slowly reply that friend of yours, whatever the reply may be.

sometimes,
however much people TRY to be polite and nice,
the messages they try to send hurt even more.

It's obviously not a question to spark a conversation because there are roughly 10463464 more interesting conversation sparkers than that very question. So why choose that.

But i'm not bitter.
Nah.

If you think that friend who asks that question just wanted to know for his or her own personal curiosity, then you are wrong.
Because, why will she or he ask if the answer is obvious before his or her eyes.
If she or he sees a slim and fit me, the question wouldnt even arise, right?


In other words, I think I've put on weight.
Sigh.


Speaking about friends,
ah..
yes.

I think I'm a lousy friend. Any not many ppl will disagree I think.

People think I'm lousy because I do not invite them into my house.
I also don't seem to appreciate friends who travel far distances just to see me.
I choose sleep over hanging out with my group of friends.
I seem arrogant to people I have not met for a while, but trust me. I'm not. I'm just too shy.

I do think there are people who appreciate my friendship though.
Because those people know me well enough NOT to JUDGE me before they know me to a certain extent.

Sometimes, after talking with a friend on the phone,
my dad will ask me
"why you sounded so rude to your friend??"

I will then give him a blur and confused look and ask,"got meh?"

Then I think back slowly what I said and how I reacted and realised.. "hm... actually abit rude lo"

But that's just me.
And if you think I'm rude to you when I talk,
then you should be happy.
:)

Because I only talk like that to people I'm extremely close with.
Because I think they know I didn't mean any harm.

It's 3AM and I need to wake up early later.

My conclusion?
I'm a fat lousy friend.
That is something to seriously sigh about.

Sigh.


-alexeO-

hi

------------------
Currently planning a trip to Kuching. Brief details on the trip can be found in my 5science1 class blog. CLICK!
------------------

Yes. I've screwed up and lied to myself once again.
I was supposed to work on a writing project of mine but unfortunately,
till now,
all i have is myself to present.
-_-

Today I went and enquire a few stuff regarding my future course.
At first I went there with Architecture,Arts, Design in my mind.

But I went home thinking about Advertising, Marketing, Communications.

Actually, those are exactly what I wanted.
And I thought Arts and Design courses offered that!

But after much enquiring,
I realised that those advertising stuff are available in mass communication!
And I always thought mass comm only offers PR stuff or whatever.

But advertising is really under it.

Hmmm.
I like to be the brains behind an ad.
Be it a billboard ad or a TV commercial ad,
i want to think of ways to attract customers etc.
That, for me, is interesting.

I've also been told that I wont be doing the programming side of it, which is great, really, because I can just order 'those ppl' to do the job for me. Hehe. HOWEVER I WANT IT! *evil laughter*

So mass comm was always wat I wanted?
Well I'm still much confused.

Taylor's(my college) has a School of Communications which they recently partnered with UniSA and they now offer their degree programs which is totally parallel to THEIR communication program. Which is great for me.

They have 3+0 and 2+1 courses.
Which I don't know is a good or bad thing.

Because I DO WANT to go overseas as soon as possible.
But at the same time, I think I just may not be independent enough.

So my contrasting sides are totally shadowing my ambitions.

I'm also sure there are other Advertising courses in other Unis next year. Not necessarily I have to go UniSA!

So now I'm confused again. For different reasons.
Do I want to go overseas or do I not want to just yet?

And if I do, do I want to go UniSA or other universities which offer similiar courses.

If I don't, do I really want to do the Taylor course and be under Taylor management again for 2 years? And happily send my frens off in the aiport, one-by-one? And be less independent by the day?

The weightage is so equally balanced it's killing me. I can't decide.

And it's not that I'm really cleared that I'll for sure do the Bachelor of Communcations bla bla bla wat shit Media etc.

Because I may still be interested in the Melbourne U Creative Arts course.

So which is which and what is what.

I really don't know.

And if i do achieve the minimum score, will i apply for Creative Arts in Melb U? Or still stick to my Communications Advertising course? Does that mean I will go overseas then if I do achieve the minimum score required? But what if i don't go overseas but I achieved the minimum score required? Should I go overseas or should I not? Should I do creative arts or mass comm if my marks are good enuff for both?

I don't know.

I really don't know.

Sigh.


-alexeO-

Can anyone have an internet conversation these days...


...without having the word 'lol' somewhere in the conversation?


I can't.


-alexeO-

My Birthday Yesterday

28th of November is my birthday.
and that date was fortunately yesterday. Actually yesterday in the sense 55 mins ago as I'm typing this. lawl.

:)

I was actually somewhat 'afraid' for it to come because I was scared I will be spoiling the whole eighteen birthday big wuhoo thing because I had nothing planned and was fearing for it to be a boring, lonely birthday. Well it wasn't the fabulous party or anything but I did have fun. And I am completely and sincerely moved too by some wishes from people I never expected to get.


Thx guys!

I shall be more specific because they deserve it. :D

Special thanks to,
MUM, DAD, for being the first ones to wish me!!

Also, to
SISTERS for calling me from whereever they were after that!

and
BROTHER for calling me all the way from the UK!

Not forgetting,
NICK CHEONG for actually taking the time to edit my clan channel's Message of the Day to "Happy Birthday Chieftain!!" which certainly surprised me in a very good way. :)

and

CHRISANNE OH for being the first friend to actually call me!

To,
VIVIAN LOW for being the FIRST friend to SMS me a birthday greeting!

Also,
to my Aunt Jolene for SMS-ing me too!

And,
AMY TAN, KELVIN TAN, HUEY SHYAN FROM AUSTRALIA, CEZLYNN, MICHAEL TAN, KK, HARIS, TECK KUAN, TECK ENG, JANICE FROM AUSTRALIA, all for SMS-ing me!

Also to..
CARRIE, SUSAN, WILSON, SHAZA, SARAH, LING, MUN SHAN, BENJAMIN

and,
my T1 wild classmates, ANN, FRANCIS, MANDOF, MANWHORE,

all for their testimonials on friendster!

To also,
JAMES, SANDRA, ATIF, UNCLE HARRISON FROM SG, W.SHENG, NIMI GOH, CHRISTINE, KIM LIM(the first one on msn to wish me), PAIK SENG, ABIGAIL,
for their messages on Live Messenger!

Special special thanks to,
JOYCE NG FROM MELBOURNE BUT CURRENTLY IN KL for actually sacrificing a blog post at her blog for me!

WOW.
I never thought I had THAT many friends.
And I thought I was a lonely kid.
If i missed out anyone,
I'm so sorry! but thanks!!

I really really appreciate all those wishes.
Makes me all ready and geared up to be 18!

Bwahahahaha.

Once again,
THANK U!

Even to those who had forgotten or somehow are just not people who 'wish' other ppl. But I know wat you wanna tell me anyway. Tee-Hee.

TX!


-alexeO-

A lost boy

I think rite.. I need to get 'fixed' loh.

Everyday sleeping at 6am and waking up 12 hours later at 6pm isn't really healthy lah. Not that I am purposely doing it but that's the clock I set all thanks to the stupid exam period. The stupid exam period which also made me damn fat and heavy lor. Damn hard to try to reverse my clock back to normal leh. Zzz. If i go to bed at 12am suddenly, means I only stay awake for 6 hours?!! Abit wrong rite. Want to sleep also cannot lah. Will toss and turn until 6am which is the same thing again. And also, if want to wake up early also feel super tired. Waking up at 10 means 4 hrs of sleep. 4 hours of sleep isn't enough lah. Haih.

Damn confused and lost lah.
Duno wat to do.
I want to start on my personal project as soon as possible.
This stupid newly developed habit of mine is spoiling it all.

Summore my sister gave me 1 week period to get started on my project. Coz she wants to see me do something. Not wasting my holiday sleeping at 6am, waking up at 6pm. If after 1 week still got no progress, I'm gonna have to work lah! I dowan! I still cannot make up my mind what I wanna 'write' on. Probably I'll start with a fictional story first. But I think a biography of myself will be easier. :) I think my life can be pretty interesting wat. Zzz. I think I won't do poetry la. Too many bombastic words and vocab needed. I gonna design a logo for my company also. Hehe. Don't laugh lah. It's good to think highly wat.

Haven't even applied for universities. Really goner la me. I scared if I really can make it into those australian uni.. happy la of coz.. But the fact that I'm gonna leave like in 2 months time is scaring me leh. Other ppl got like 1 year to prepare themself mentally.. I feel like abit rush loh for me. :|

I also duno why this post has alot of 'lahs' and 'leh' la.
Maybe more comfortable talking like this le.

Dun care la. Someone help me. I'm a lost boy!
Waiting for results only now.. Haih. Gonna go to my college's placement centre to enquire a few stuff soon. :/



Me. A uni boy.
Hmmm.
Damn not-lookalike loh!

-alexeO-

Not.

I always thought one would feel best after his or her final examinations.
After UPSR, great.
After PMR, great.
After SPM, great.

After SAM Finals? Not so great.

I really don't know.

My exams have ended but I just keep thinking about the papers I did.. ranging from Specialist Maths to ESL on the very first day.

I keep thinking how badly I think I had done for my Spec Maths where most people found it "okay" and "easier than past years" which I beg to differ.
I keep thinking about ESL because that is the only subject I can score which hopefully be able to pull up my shit total marks. But it wasn't great I feel. How much 'crap' I had written. How 'rushed' my letter was. How bad my handwriting was. How will it all affect the examiners.

Same goes to the other 3 subjects.

I am so worried.

Ironically when I arrived home just now, my grandmother looked even more happier than me.
Being a former teacher, she really wants each and every of her grandchildren to know the signficance of examinations. It's like the ultimate thing in education life for her.
So she was smiling and all and asking me whether I was relieved or not.
With an invisible shrug, I just said Yah..
But inside me, I was doubting myself all the way.

Because honestly, call me a liar whatsoever,
I am not relieved.
Not a single bit.
No relief person will keep thinking back about the papers he did.

It's not as simple as thinking whether you had done enough or not.
It's thinking to the extent that I am figuring out for EVERY single question I can remember. Whether it was sufficient to gather marks.

You see, my South Australian Matriculation Pre-U Program works like this. Each subject will be tabulated to over 20. C13,B14,B15,B16,A17,A18.. for example, A20 being the max. Then somehow or rather(it is not just simple addition for the 5 subjects), i will get a TER(Tertiary Entrance Rank) where it is over 100. That TER is wat determines the entry requirements for the courses in University.

And that haunts me because,
I don't think I am gonna get a good TER.
Which is equally humiliating both from the public opinion side and the personal side.

A course which interests me in the University of Melbourne has a TER requirement of a minimum 83.
It may be low for some but to be honest, I would be happy with an 83 and above TER.

But what if I don't achieve it?
I don't think a TER of 83 and above is possible with a D10 for Spec Maths. And that is what I think I will get. Even my Spec Maths lecturer forecasted that.
What about Physics? I was always below average. I know the scores for each subject is moderated.. not as simple as just marking the final paper and tada.. ur marks. No. It will be compared to the entire group and moderated accordingly.

But it doesn't matter anyway.
Because I am below average for both spec maths and physics.

And if I really don't get a TER of 83 and above,
not only it is a huge blow to my confidence and future ambitions,
but it also a significant blow to my reputation.

Not fame-wise, but more to 'what-people-may-think-wise'.
To not be able to score a 80 and above TER is as simple as humiliating. And that sucks.
Especially when you start asking each other 'what did u get', 'what did u get' and they all announce proudly their high double digit marks.

As far as I know,
no one I know.. not a single senior, has a TER of 83 and below.
My sister's friends... however intelligent or average they were, achieved relatively high TER. My brother, who took SAM scored 90++.

Then why should I be worried if everyone scored so high?
BECAUSE,
every year, the percentage of people scoring 80% and above is only around 20-40%.
And to think,
I am not(at least I dont think I am).
In the top 20-40% of SAM.
Really worries me.

I don't know what happened last time when people I know scored relatively good marks but I only care about how I did myself now.

And that simple logic is why,
I cannot be relieved that my exams are over.
I just will keep thinking about it again, and again, and again, question to question,

Until it finally decides to go away by itself.
Which I hope is very soon.


Is it too late to start praying?
-alexeO-

I feel.. free

Exams over 30 mins ago.
Not any ordinary exams.

It's the FINAL exams.

and it's over.

but strangely,
I don't feel too happy like any normal being would.

I think it's because of the last paper I had. :/
:(

OH well.
I'm so free I don't know what to do now.

Confusion in life X200
gg.

-alexeO-

Time and Tide waits for no man

It's 2:43AM as i'm typing this.
It just turned Tuesday.
I have one final paper for my finals this Friday.

and..


I'm soooooooooooooooo BOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
:(


-alexeO-

:|

I really don't want to but...

I THINK I MAY BE FALLING FOR ANOTHER BLOGSITE!

I created a blog in Wordpress because I'm amazed at how neat Wordpress blogs are and I wanted to try one of my own..

After a few navigation in the dashboard, I realised it is indeed very neat and organised. And I may just be interested in getting used to it.

Nooooo. I can't move on! I duno wat to do. So I guess I'll just have both up now.

Oh yah. the link is http://alexycy.wordpress.com

Typical. -_-
I know.
Have fun!



Btw, 3 down, 2 papers to go!!!!~~~
-alexeO-

Late, again.

I know I have an infamous reputation for being late. But I like to blame it on my blood. :) It's in the genes man. My family members, whether unintentional or not.. will often be late for our own respective events. The only time when we're not late is when we actually are together. I guess too much negative energy will turn positive. :)

So anyway,
YESTERDAY,

I heard the tune of What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey playing melodiously from my handphone.
Wondering who might call at such wee hours in the morning, I looked at my phone and noticed a House number. Because it was not a mobile phone number, I picked up the call thinking the chances of it being a prank call is lesser.

"Heloo...?" I said, tired-ly.


"Do you have exams now?"

*'how rude,' I thought to myself. not even a hello. and who the heck is that anyway*

"Hello?" I repeated.


"Do you have a Physics exam now?" the mysterious lady said.

"Hello who's this?!" (already very curious and at that point of time I'm wondering if it is indeed a prank call. By Hitz.Fm perhaps? :p)


"You have a physics paper now rite? Your paper has started already"

"Huh?" *I look at the clock from my handphone. I was so tired I could not figure out what the analog clock displayed. 5am perhaps?

"What time is it now??" I asked rather stupidly.


"Your paper has started already. Where do you stay?"

It was frustrating to know that the lady, whoever it was does not reply to my questions. It was equally as frustrating to know that, MY FREAKING PHYSICS PAPER HAS ALREADY BEGUN AND I WAS ABOUT TO MISS IT.

"fark." I thought to myself.

I then proceeded to reply, "Shah Alam.. oh shit"


"You didn't know you have a paper at this time?" the lady asked with a weird tone, sounding as if she was inside thinking what kind of lousy, care-about-nothing student this is.

"Oh shit.. will I get extra time when I arrive??" I asked rather weirdly, knowing the answer was obvious. But I guess it was just the blur-morning me.


"er.. no?"

The lady then proceeded to speak in cantonese with another lady in the background.

She then came back to me and said, "No you won't get extra time.. but please make it within 30 minutes or you will not be allowed in.."

"oh.. thank you!"


"yeah.." I could actually imagine in my head how her eyes were rolling.

I immediately jumped out of my bed and rushed to wake my sister up who was supposed to fetch me. She sounded equally shocked too.

I am someone who cannot wake up without taking a shower.
So I had the quickest shower of my life.
I also had the quickest brushing of my teeth in my life.
I even had the quickest putting on of clothes in my life.

I didn't care about hygiene then. I just wanted to arrive and sit for the bloody paper and go home.

So my initial plan of having some 'last-minute-revision' was completely destroyed by my panicky behaviour in the car.

I arrived at the college at 7.15am. "Still got time!" I thought to myself.

I walked quickly as hell because I know I cannot run.
Luckily I made an initiative to check the venue of my exam earlier.

It was also bitchy that my exam was so happened in the freaking 4th floor.
My usual 'very-tired-when-arrived-on-the-4th-floor' was not visible. I was more worried about sitting for the paper on time. And maybe completing it too.

As I was at the corridor heading to the classroom, a lecturer was seen sitting outside.
She looked at me and asked, "Yeo?"

"YES!"

"That classroom.."she pointed out.

I walked towards a door and asked her back, "this one?"

"No. The other door."

"OKAY THANK YOU"

I then opened the door and saw an entire classroom of students already working with their calculators; calculating the final momentum of some ball perhaps.

Another 40-something lady lecturer was there, and she led me to my table.
On my way, I clumsily hit a chair. The lecturer just smiled. She then was beside my table, instructing me on the rules.. and the common protocol.. very softly.
She kept comforting me because she obviously knew I was panicking like a mad donkey.
I must say, her cool smile really made me feel much better.

15minutes into the exam, that very lady went towards my table and left a plastic mineral water on my table. And then patted my back twice.

OMG. So nice!
I must resemble her son or something. ><
Seriously,
WAT A NICE LADY.

I ended finishing the paper on time.
It was not like I could answer everything anyway. So I basically could do all I can and had time to crapped some answers.

When the lecturer was collecting the papers,
she 'ironically' warned us about not being late for this Thursday's paper because there would be many students bla bla bla.
I did not want to look anywhere else because I know there definitely will be some eyes laying on me.
-_-

I walked out of the classroom saying "thank you" to her. "You were very lucky~" she replied.

I was never late for a major examination before in my entire life and I guess it is better than never.

Surely now I will be more careful to be punctual during examinations.. I guess.
I oughta be.


2 down, 3 papers to go.
-alexeO-