Thursday, April 30, 2009

My Funny Valentine

Slept for 3 hours the night (or day) before.

Went to uni from 10am till 5pm.

Got home, made dinner, showered.

Went to friend's place at 11.30pm.

Stayed up till 4.45am to watch Arsenal went 1-0 down.

Walked home at sunrise.

Slept at 7am.

Woke up at a disgusting 6.45pm.

And oh yeah, did I mention that I had class at 2pm too? I groggily woke up at 2.25pm only to realize that I've fked my day up. Badly. Again. And then I went back to sleep.

Prepared dinner, ate, and here I am.

Must be the accumulated lack of sleep over the past few weeks.

Getting very cold in Melbourne now.

I want to cuddle under my sheets and just.. rot. :(



-alexeO-

Friday, April 24, 2009

Light skin, dark skin, my Asian persuasion

Hello! I'm feeling very much more contented than before. It has to be the power of completing assignments I tell you..

Melbourne so far.. Day 70 or so..

Just a little over 2 months, and yet, I feel like I've been here.. almost forever? Minus the familiarity with the places part.. I am really feeling comfortable in a lot of ways possible. But I will remember to not fully immerse myself in such comfort and remind myself that time would ultimately still somehow remain as an obstacle or barrier with adaptability!

I don't know why, maybe it's the new found freedom, maybe it's the place, maybe it's the people but I've become such a party animal I somehow always need a weekly fix. Easter was such a great period really. I always took my Easter breaks back when I was in Sunway for granted (used it to sleep-in mostly), but the Easter I had here was a total shift. I had something fun to do everyday and I didn't want it to end but it did. Obviously.

The first few days post-Easter I was actually emo-ing over how I can no longer party the way I did and have fun haha. How there are no more "Easters" in Melbourne sigh. :( But I shall decide if I would want to extend my stay here in Melbourne sometime during the end of the year. Work or postgrad. Both suck, but such is life, right?

I'm currently very sleepy, so I am just typing whatever that's on top of my head now.

Ok. I shall post some overdue photos for my friends who are concerned back home and everywhere else in the world.




This was my humble room on the first day I moved in. Looks smaller, (but not much trust me) from this angle.

This is my room today:



Pretty damn awesome? :D

You can't see it here but on the left side of the photo is my mirrored built-in robes which is my fav part of the room HAHA.




This was Richmond's room on the first day.



This is Richmond's room post-move in.

I don't think you guys care about the living room or other parts of the apartment in general so I'm not going to bother. But on the whole it is quite equipped today and tidy. And my apartment looks so mediocre verging on torturous to the other apartments I've seen or been to here in Melbourne.. but considering our situation at that particular point of time, I really can't find any reasons to complain at all.

So I've also started cooking coz it's both fun and economical compared to eating outside every day.

I made chinese soy sauce chicken on the first day this week which wasn't very successful at all HAHA so no photos were taken unfortunately. But it ended up tasting ALMOST the same so I guess credit given where credit's due HEHEHE. But super tak puas so I'm gonna attempt to make it again!

This was the first pasta I made, even before the soy sauce chicken, because people tell me pastas from jars are one of the easiest and filling things you can cook yourself.


Spaghetti Pork Bolognese

So it was pretty dry, and the spaghetti felt sticky. But it tasted pretty above average so all's good I guess.

For someone cooking meat or stirring the pan for the first time that pasta is a pretty darn good achievement ok.

Then after the first experience and receiving advices and help from family and friends around, Richmond and I made pasta again recently and this was what we came up with:


Riccioli Bolognese

And it actually tasted pretty good. So much so that we wondered if it was the different sauce or the expertise of the chefs. Hehehe.

The next day I thought of making the ultimate chinese CUISINE of several dishes + 1 soup so this was what we came up with:



The COMPLETE meal.




Curry Chicken with Potatoes. 5/5




ABC Soup. 3.5/5




Steamed Egg with Minced Pork. x/5

LOL HAHAHAH. I KNOW THE EGG LOOKS SUPER FAIL BUT FORGIVE ME LA DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT I HAD TO WORK WITH HAHAHA! I told Karina it looks like I made a yellow swimming pool for the pork instead sigh haha. But don't worry I will perfect the technique one day! And the thing is it actually tasted not bad! The meat was well marinated by yours truly and it wasn't as bad as it looks actually... just take it like a new dish la.

Ok I duno what I'm typing already. Damn sleepy stayed up doing assignments.

Weekend's here! I HOPE I GET TO DO SOMETHING FUN THIS WEEK! BAI!



-alexeO-

Sunday, April 19, 2009

A Post I Could Do Without

Sometimes I wonder if it's easier to be less extreme emotionally just so that the potential falls will not be too overwhelming. Sometimes I wonder if becoming a stagnant zombie would make me less depressed or miserable than I potentially can be today. For the higher you go, the harder the fall?

Today is the last day of easily the best Easter break ever.

I had so much, maybe too much, fun throughout the week that I never want it to end. And so much happened that the last class I attended seriously felt like months ago. I am honestly despising the start of classes this coming week, but who isn't right?

Then towards the end of the break, after my overdone dwellings of how everything was about to come to an end, God decided to be helpful and put me up with incidents after incidents which completely decimate any remorse I had over the end of my 'best Easter break ever'. Incidents which not only rudely signal the end of the fun times, but also possibly of things to come.

If I could, I wish I could press the restart button and go through the whole of the break again. I don't care if it is immature and shallow, I never agreed with the whole concept (of life) anyway, so technically why should I care?

I have principles that I hold onto very dearly. Principles which I find very difficult to give up even under extreme circumstances. If the so-called 'failure' beckons at the end of the path, then so be it. For I rather fail in such constructed downfalls than to fail as a human being, as an individual, and as me.

You won't believe how much I'm self-censoring now, how much I've written then deleted, for I do not think it's right to share or to feel personally, but the fact of the matter is - I am still feeling it.

I'm upset. At alot of things.

On my 'best Easter break ever'.




-alexeO-

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Beast in Me

Ever wondered what it's like to feel free as hell, having zero restrictions and commanding the guts to do whatever you want, however you want to?

That's me under the influence.

People could tell you how shy or reserved I can be when I'm on a casual outing with them. If I'm like that by nature that's fine. But there are times when I feel like I'm holding back so much it makes me regret later that I actually did not say or do a certain thing after the outing has ended.

Sometimes I wonder if it's possibly the extreme fear of getting judged.

I know during my tipsy nights I'd repeatedly tell the people around me how they shouldn't "judge" me for I am not like that at all during "normal" days whatever normal mean.

That being said, I DO remember most of the things I do or say during those nights.

So does that make me less of a drunkard? I don't know. But it could imply that I just needed that little bit of 'help' to make me more 'normal'. But if the 'normal' Alex is like that then it's quite scary also but you get what I mean..

I could even consciously tell myself in my mind how much I am going to regret this the next day and every single time it's like a battlefield going in there I kid you not. One part of me telling me to just shut the fking hell up and stop. Another asking me to.. well, do the exact opposite. People might notice this ongoing conflict when they see me doing all sorts of random shit one minute and the next minute sitting down quietly trying to supress everything inside.

Believe it or not, I know it doesn't look like it, but I do tell myself to sober up during those times.

It would often be the case of a mental dialogue filled up with, "freaking sober up alex, please." Which would then be immediately followed by a performance of a dance or/AND song routine to the people around me. Great. Frikkin' hell srsly.

Most of the times, the latter side of me always wins.

And it's my fault too for I welcome it almost every single time. Because I want to feel the freedom it gives me, because I want to be able to 'breathe' every now and then.

Perhaps I should learn to control the extent in which I 'welcome' that side of me. Perhaps I too can feel the same liberty it provides me with, without letting it dominate or control me in the way it had almost every time.

That is why I like blogging. Because in the process of writing posts like this, I take another step forward in constructive self-discovery and improvement.

Or..

just stfu and have a beer, Alex.



-alexeO-

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

How do you stop..

.. the sun from setting on you?






-alexeO-

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Rant

This is the ultimate mental torture.

I'm awake now at an undisclosed time, attempting to finish something which I have really not much idea how to, and the fact that it is a short assignment is pulling me in so many directions I feel like I am about to be ripped apart.

I don't even understand what I'm typing anymore. I don't even know if I should continue to bother. But I really really want to get this over with.

10% for arguably the toughest first assignment in relative to my other first assignments which carry more weightage. It's not about giving up. It's about being smart and balancing.

At this point of time, I really do not care if resorting to war is ever justified or not.


-alexeO-