Goodbye 2006

What an eventful year.

Seriously.

My first year out of school and I absolutely cherish it.

It was the year which I personally feel I've grown alot mentally and maybe to a certain tiny weeny extent, physically as well. :)

It's funny how much I learnt this year relative to 2005 which was a horrible year for me but a year which I didn't learn as much as this year, 2006.

For the first time in my life,
I feel like I'm maturing.

No. I am not saying that I'm fully matured.
I'm still useless and afraid of many things normal adults arent afraid of.

But I can FEEL that I'm maturing.
Which is a great feeling, of course.

Now,
I have a funny feeling in my heart which maybe, just maybe is a signal of me not wanting this year to end.

Because come next year, 2007, which is tomorrow,
things are gonna be different.

I had a half-class gathering dinner just now where I met some of my former high school classmates.
I felt nothing then. No sadness, no excitement, no emo-ness,

but come a few hours after the dinner,
I started to think of how much I took things for granted and that those people whom attended the dinner were the real people I can trust and have fun with.
People who I don't mind showing the REAL side of me and not pretend to be someone I'm not.

I actually missed them. Past tense.
A little bit.
But a bit is still a bit.

And I actually think I AM GOING to miss them. Yes. Future tense.

I found out that I really enjoyed myself making conversations with those people who I never thought was of much importance to me last time.

Of course, there are always the special specific few who I really feel very very upset when I think of how little I'm gonna meet them in the near future but I'm not naming any names. :)

On another note,
good luck Chrisanne who will be leaving in 2-3 days time to Australia for her uni studies.
And yea, I know you're probably guessing already, so yep.

she IS one of the few people who I really am gonna feel upset after thinking of how little I'm gonna see her again, how little I'm gonna hear her tease me, how little I'm gonna see her smile which always meant so much, how little I'm gonna see her intentionally ignoring me, how little I'm gonna hear her complaining how much pressure she got from a certain lecturer, and how little I'm gonna taste the product of her bakings.

I just shed a tear typing that.
Shit.

I hope no one misunderstands.
She may look like she meant alot to me but she's a good fren of mine and nothing more than that.
She may not seem to be backing me 100% all the time but she was there for me at the most crucial moments.
The time when I lost my dog.
Or some other time when I was upset.

I don't know what else to say but once again,
good luck Chrisanne.

And if you come telling me that the leaving-to-Australia is all a joke(like how you bluffed me u were going overseas last year),
I'll actually thank you for that. Because I think I may prefer to suffer embarassment from typing all this than to have one less friend to depend on.


I believe to mature is a stage where people learn how to overcome things they did not dare to overcome and for me,
I believe I matured a little more today.

Because, I didn't dare to post how much friendships may mean to me last time because I was afraid of what people may think of me being such a loser.
But now I believe that those who do not think the same are the real losers no one currently needs in the society.



Happy New Year everyone.


-alexeO-