Random facts about me

My ideal world would have everyone being sincere at every single thing they do, be it greeting, assisting, or conversing

I would like everyone to open up, be themselves to me

I stutter more than usual when I talk to 'ang mohs'

I'm shy in front of newly met people

I think too much, sometimes. No, make that most of the time

I have an assignment due very soon, and I am struggling once again to do it. Make that a few assignments

I really shouldn't be typing here.

goodbye.




-alexeO-

I am superman

*post deleted as post is written due to a momentary lapse of happiness and satiscation leading to extremely stupid expressive emotions which means really nothing at all.


p.s: btw, i've finished my long long overdue assignment. haha. 3 more to come next week. gg me.

-alexeO-

Argh

I'm at the Monash library now.

It's 12:15pm.

There's a reason why I'm here when my 'supposed' 2-hr class was to be at 11am.

Don't know what happened but all I know is I arrived in campus only at 12pm. No thanks to stupid carpark which was full and was stubbornly not issuing anymore parking tickets.

I'm so pissed at myself!!

This was a self-replacement class I allocated for myself as I missed the one yesterday.

And now I missed the replacement. -_-

And the worst thing is, I wanted to see how the other groups do their group presentations, and handle the Q&A sessions, but now I do not know. So slight disadvantage there.

And not forgetting no more 100% attendance. And not forgetting missing the very same subject which I did very badly for one assignment.

So now I missed class, am here doing nothing at all, next class a long 3-hour away, need to complete an assignment by tomorrow, can't do that assignment because I don't have the stuff, and people around me here are probably pointing at me and chuckling at this very moment because I'm blogging at the library.


-_-


What an extremely sucky period for me.

I'm missing classes, and doing badly in my assignments.
And to think that I have 3 huge MAJOR assignments back-to-back next week. *_* This semester is turning out to be a nightmare. I miss my smooth-flowing first semester.

I can't wait for November to come, the much needed long long break. :(

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.




-alexeO-

=(

I normally get my alarm from my handphone to wake me up for classes especially during the morning sessions.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I searched and looked, I couldn't find my handphone last night (i only realised the next day that I left my handphone in my car). So I trusted my trusty alarm#2 i.e, my Arsenal table clock, to do the waking up job for me.

Alarm#2 did a reasonably good job waking me up at 9.30am the next day for my 11am lecture. It's just unfortunate that Alarm#2 does not have a 'snooze' button. So I had to manually switch off the alarm and depend on my own willpower and strength to pull myself out of my bed after the '5 more minutes of sleep' everyone seeks when they attempt to wake up.

I failed miserably.

The next time I opened my eyes, my Arsenal alarm clock showed 10.55am. 5 more minutes to class. And I was still lying sleepily on my bed.

"Bah, heck it la," I thought. "Just another long-winded lecture on globalisation."

So I slept, with the pleasing thought that my next class, which was a tutorial, will only be at 3pm.. meaning another extra 3 hours or so of sleep.

Something which I don't remember what woke me up a while later which prompted me to lazily look at my Arsenal alarm clock for the time.

1.05pm.

Great. One more hour. Should be sufficient to give me a nice long rest. And then I dozed off once again.

Something else made me wake up later. I was not sure what it was. But all I thought was, "wow. glad I had that extra hour. I feel so much less sleepy now somehow."

Then I stared to the windows outside and thought of how cloudy the day looked today.

I then searched for the Arsenal alarm clock I left aside to get the time.

"1.05pm"

Hmm. Strange. Wasn't it 1.05pm the last time I woke up?

And then to my horror, I saw the minutes hand of the clock moving forward and backwards in successive motion.

My alarm clock ran out of battery.


.
.
.
.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


I prayed to the heavens(for the first time) and hoped that it was somehow still 2pm or so and the alarm clock simply 'ran out of battery' not long after I dozed off. The first clock I saw outside my room showed "9.30". WTF!!%$#@!%!# DOESNT ANY CLOCK WORK AROUND HERE.

I went to a family member's room and started shrieking silently to myself when I saw the time displayed on the working clock.

5.00pm.

T_T

Because I felt so bad, because I felt like I've wasted my day, because I felt like oversleeping a 3pm class is very irresponsible of me, and because I know that my tutor would be returning my first assignment today..

.. I made my way to uni at 5.30pm. After i got ready.

And after surviving through a mini-jam to uni, I walked to my tutor's office hoping he was still there. I knew chances were low cause it was after-work time but I didn't care. I felt so angry with myself I had to make myself travel the extra journey and pay the extra effort for something I was not sure was even there.

And so it turned out he WAS indeed still there, on his mobile phone, as I peeked into his office. He saw me peeking and prompted me to enter.

I told him I would be attending tomorrow's tutorial cause I missed today's and asked for my assignment.

His reply shattered the already 'broken' me.

"You didn't do very well."

"I was hoping more from you, Alex."

His words weren't as hurtful as the self-realization of my results as I flipped the pages.

I cannot remember clearly what he said after that but it was something along the lines of he thinks I am a potential High D scorer as I was with him for one semester and I clearly disappointed him or something like that.

I routinely told him I would try to work harder for my upcoming assignments but he just shrugged and said 'you better' or something like that.

The thing is, how would he know, right? I mean he himself said ONE semester. one FREAKING semester. And maybe it was all fluke, I duno.

Aih. But the fact which remains is, I still sucked at that assignment. And it hurt real, real badly. And the worst thing is? He's the same lecturer/tutor I have with my feature writing unit too, which I have an assignment long overdue.

So one semester of good impression gone with the wind I guess. Just like that.

I posted last time on how a bad result may be able to pick me up again and trigger me to work harder.

And so I got the apparent 'trigger-er' already.

Has the apparent 'determination' arrive yet?


Iono. =(


-alexeO-

What happened to me.

Perhaps it wasn't such a good thing that I achieved reasonably good grades for my first semester.

One of the things which keep me working hard for my assignments and exams is the satisfaction of giving a good impression to my lecturers/tutors. Don't ask me why. I just seem to have this tendency of sucking up to my lecturers instilled in me.

And because I have already seemingly done that for my first semester, I have lost all passion and determination to do well for my work presently.

I thought about this once and I realised that the reasonably good grades I achieved in my first semester isn't really all fluke and luck (or the fact that my course is 'easy'). The more I think of it, the more I think of the surprising amount of effort I actually allocated on my work. I actually WORKED for it. I actually remember for my major assignment of me having borrowed piles and piles of books from the library for research purposes. And for my finals, I actually had the initiative to write a book full of notes for a unit I took, and even participated in a study group.

I worked so freaking hard.

But now, I cannot. I don't know why.

I simply cannot produce the very same determination I had. Maybe this 'determination' would come back if my results start dropping real badly. But do I really need that to happen before I could stand up on my feet and drive myself forward again? Sigh.

Stupid rant.

A friend told me once to get a hobby. Good idea, as I thought it could distract me from thinking too much about things not worth thinking about.

Or perhaps I just need someone's shoulder to cry on. Or a hand to pull me up and proceed forward into the path ahead.

It's always the want to obtain something I don't have, isn't it?



I think I know what's wrong with me.


I'm deprived from all things which matters.


Or at least I think I am.


nature photographer alexeo(random)

greatest timewaster ever existed
-alexeO-

Randomnya

Today Monash University, Sunway campus had their official opening/launch/whatever.

Many big big shots were present. O_O

biggest of them all is of course our very own DPM, Najib. And got some other ministers too la. Like Samy Vellu( duno wat's he doing there also. no one acknowledged his presence funnily enough). And of course the people from Monash Australia and the Aussie high commissioners.

Anyway, thanks to those big big shots..

Students like me, the apparent 'leaders of the future', who got classes in the afternoon, have to park far far away from our usually already congested carpark! They closed about 200 parking lots to freaking welcome the DPM who wasn't even looking that all interested in the event! (i know, coz i was in a room allocated for students and staffs to view the entire event 'live')

So anyway, I had to drive all the way deep into some construction area, full of mud. My car damn freaking dirty because of that. And it was some distance to walk too!! *angree*

The only thing nice about the opening ceremony was the monash intro video which i am proudly part of!

HAHAHA! they promised the students who got involved a copy of the video, and the first thing i'm gonna do with the copy is to upload it to youtube so people can hear my voice in its full glory! *Beams* HAHAHAHA.

Actually it was nothing much la. I only had 3 words. no face summore. just a voice-over. HAHAHA! :D

Okla. Nothing to say liau. Just wanted to share my frustration that I had to walk far far over muddy grounds just to get to my university just cause the university people want to 'wipe' some 'shoes'. *pissed*

And also,

hotdogs, are NOT a 'tapau'-friendly item. So don't ever attempt to bungkus balik unless you want to get yourself all dirty! I learned that the hard way. T_T

*5 bucks wasted* but screw it la. still ate it anyway. :|




assignment still not completed.
-alexeO-

Sigh

I think i'll make a very bad journalist. So that's one option out of the window.

The reason?

.
.
.

Deadlines.

I simply cannot meet deadlines.

If I really do find work as a journalist in the future when I enter the workforce, I bet i'll be sacked within a week. 2 weeks tops.

But probably not la. Since my life and money all depended on it and all... so should have more initiative to work... oh, whatever. :/

Sigh.

Another deadline not met for my writing assignment. what is freaking wrong with me? :(




-alexeO-

Jens Lehmann, Arsenal keeper

Inconsistent, but at times, saves Arsenal with some out-of-this-world saves.

Have to mention that he has somewhat a temper too. ;)


Game: Arsenal vs Bolton (11/2/06)

the pundits were funny lol.


-alexeO-

Hi.




Can I be your friend?




Bye.
-alexeO-

Harry Potter and the Sorting Hat

*****

Which Hogwarts House Would You Be In?
	The Sorting Hat would put you in Ravenclaw. You are wise, perceptive, and quietly brilliant. You may not always be noticed right away, but you are widely respected for your humor and brains.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

******

not the first quiz which sorted me to that house.

so i guess i'm really, a ravenclaw.

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure" <-- proverb associated with ravenclaw. gaya rite?

bwahahaha.


sien la. life so much a routine these days. like i said somewhere in one of my previous posts, one major assignment due next monday. when i say MAJOR, i mean one which cannot be done just few hours before the due date kind.

argh. must go conduct interviews and all. one frustrating thing is that in feature articles, anecdotes are often included to make the piece more interesting. anecdotes are like mini stories in the article. of course i shall be trying to add one of those 'anecdotes' in. but eat up quite alot of time to write a gaya descriptive sentences one! eg: the wind caressed her hair as she lifted the rock. (example oni la)

NOOOO! this post is making me have the sudden realisation i'm already so much behind time!

sigh. during my final Q&A session on the assignment in my feature writing tutorial today, learned that it's best if i could write a piece which would affect someone's perception on certain things at the end of the day.

and that i should be writing things people don't already know! omg.

interesting lah. but very mafan when it comes to finding my angle and MAKING my interviewees CONFIRM the stuff i want them to confirm.

summore no formal practical interviewing training one. -_-||

ish.

and to think that after this so-called 'major' assignment, i've got an even bigger one to come after this one on the same subject. that one really major major la. this one can be considered mini-major.

but that doesn't justify anything! i still need to do alot of stuff to get this one done! cannot fabricate anything on the way.

if anyone got any idea or things to say regarding the "mamak" culture in malaysia, please do share! :D

i'm now currently planning on looking at the racial aspects of it. why malaysians of any race can 'lepak' there and not anywhere else. perhaps it could be the "racial playground" of our country?

but i realised that angle is one which is quite debatable. people gonna tell me it's not like the different races are eating together also. ish! :|

hmmm. so pls help if possible~ Thanks!

*

i guess i'm a disappointment to the ravenclaws.


X(

-alexeO-

No Emo




I ought to learn how to get a grip of myself when I PMS.

I simply have to.

:/



-alexeO-

Walls Mini Poppers


Heaven in your mouth, almost literally.


Everyone should/must try it.



mmmm. *nirvana*
-alexeO-

Nothing to say

One big major feature writing assignment coming up. I've only got one week left to complete my research, interviews, and the whole writing process itself.

wish me luck! i need it.

Did a test thing from KarWai's blog. Being the self-obsessed(not really) me, I did the test to see where I am truly gifted in.




Har~ sure boh?

:/
anyone wants to form a band?



-alexeO-

Springfield Alex



Me if I were to be in The Simpsons.

HAhaha. closest i can make it bah. (of coz have to make it abit more leng chai la tee-hee)

make one of yourself at www.simpsonsmovie.com!

now contemplating whether i shud be going to the monash ball next month. HMMMM. anyone wants to be my date? BWAHA!

ok. cheap attempt.



-alexeO-

Pulang-ed


I've just got back from Chiang Mai, Thailand.

and I doubt I'll be posting about my experiences cause no one's interested anyway.

*

My friends are damn obedient.

Posted in the chatterbox that I'll be off for a short trip and thus no updates, therefore, blog hits were at an all time low. @@

Anyway i'm back now. And UNFORTUNATELY, no souvenirs for anyone. T_T

Hey, I didn't even get anything for myself okay. :/

Oh well.

:|

Since I'm back, I guess I'll be seeing you guys around. :)



-alexeO-

If you have never been devastated in any particular ways before...


... you never truly lived life to the fullest.



-alexeO-

A gelifying day

One of my worst nightmares came true this afternoon. It's haunting me till now. :(

An adult cockroach crawled my right hand.

I was so gelified and shocked at the same time I just stood still for a couple of seconds, trying to take in what just happened.

I cannot scream like a little girl in front of my uni mates. I had to bear.

I couldn't think of anything else then but to walk straight to the washroom, leaving my stuff and jacket on the table on the way, not thinking about what might happen to my cast-aside belongings.

With the fullest of force from the tap, I washed my hands. With a force almost as powerful as the new washroom taps, I scrubbed every single part of my hand.

It was just a mere 2 seconds when the pest was on me. But it was still on me.

Even up till now when I'm typing this, I'm still pretty much traumatised by the incident.

So. Damn. Gross.

Any little sensation prickling any parts of my body now I will move any limb of mine nearest to the sensation, aggresively.

I don't even want to use my bag anymore. I think I'm going to class tomorrow without a bag.

Ok, that's actually a good idea. So no bag tomorrow.

On another non-gelifying note, on the way back driving from Monash today, the radio station I was listening to suddenly played a song which brought back many happy memories. Non-cockroach related. I couldn't resist the temptation and it wasn't long until I was belting out the song with the loudest of voice possible in my car. I even started to bang my steering wheels to create the 'beat-effect'. I amazed myself. I actually remembered the lyrics to almost the whole song.

For those wanting a little deja vu, here's the song I listened to:-




don't pretend you don't know the lyrics



-alexeO-

Dark Skies



super old yanzi chinese song. almost lost in memory already.

..until chrisanne reminded me of it.

now learning the pinyin lyrics! :D

classic!



ti oh oh, bei lok ho.

ti oh oh, oh oh...



-alexeO-

Last minute assignment

Almost 6am now and I've just completed my assignment.


-________-


after many many weeks of not doing any assignments whatsoever, i simply did not have the mood to do any long reading or typing. T_T

But because the due date is today, n the due hour being a few hours away, I just had to force myself with every ounce of strength and will I've got to start typing on Microsoft Word. Sigh.

But I finally got it over with just minutes ago. I thought i did pretty shit but I guess I.... should be okay. :| Berkarat liau.


So the positives: hopefully got the assignment-doing mood rolling again and learn from mistake (last minute work sucks)!

and the negative. me = a zombie for the whole day. Sigh. gonna suffer like anything in classes and all. :(


no more last minute alex!
*pumps fist*



-alexeO-

RVP.

The score was 1-1, the clock ticked 85 mins and Arsenal fans were getting ready to release a huge sigh muttering the words "same ol', same ol'" under their breath.

Despite dominating 95% of the game against Inter, Arsenal just had to concede a goal first and stage a comeback afterwards. Just like any of the home games they played last season.

It was then.. this happened.

85th [2-1] van Persie Goal
Uploaded by ArsenalFootballClub

A wonder strike conjured out of nothing.

And the score was 2-1.

And Arsenal ended up winning the pre-season Emirates cup.

Thierry Henry?

Van Persie, I say. ;)



-alexeO-

See our family. And feel better about yours.

If there's any movie which would possibly top Transformers so far this year,




it would have to be..



The Simpsons Movie.

*

Ok fine I'm probably exaggerating. But the movie was a really really good laugh from start to finish! I initially thought the producers of the popular serial wouldn't be able to capture the movie market with their usual 30mins short skit but I was wrong. It had every single element which makes a movie, a movie. And yet at the end of the day, it's still the typical Simpsons. Just an hour longer than usual, and probably funnier too.

Has been a while since I last LOL-ed at a movie from start to finish. There are definitely times when I just want to slap my own forehead real hard but that's just typical Simpsons for you, eh?

oh well. a recommended watch if you are a Simpsons fan. :)


*struts off humming the simpsons soundtrack*



-alexeO-

University Carpark Dilemma

First impression of the carpark several weeks ago.

"Wah damn huge. no parking problems anymore!!"

Today, I am forced to eat my words.

The carpark is huge, but yet there are insufficient spaces. The end result?

PEOPLE SIDE PARKING AT PLACES WHICH AREN'T MEANT TO BE PARKED!!!

Their mindset: "Aiyah, as long as I set a space big enough so other cars can pass through can liau la"

Yes. So a car may be able to pass through. But ONLY IF that car succesfully makes the ONE perfect angle to avoid scratching your car you craphead.

I understand that certain people may be rushing for classes and they have no choice as all the allocated places are taken. But at least, take the initiative to really really ensure people will be able to pass 'stress-free'. Some cars are really inconsiderate. Must be the rich brats who doesn't give a damn if they damage their parents-bought chepeast car in the house.

Blame the Monash staffs too who did not find the students an alternative if there aren't any parking available. Hmmph.

Today, at the relatively somehow very congested parking area when I was departing, cars were stuck at the parking bays as people were having trouble trying to leave the carpark without leaving any scratches on their cars.

Being the erm, "not-so-good-in-judging-distance-of-object-from-car" driver, I almost died feeling the stress.



Ok bad illustration.

But I had to squeeze through to the right through the 2 side-parked cars. Which I thought was virtually impossible. I had thought of reversing all the way to avoid the trouble and fear but there were cars behind me. I also tried turning to the left to head to another exit but there were on-coming cars coming from the other direction. Thanks to the side-parked cars again, only one car may pass at a time.

So no choice. I had to pass the dreaded ring of fire.

Seeing other people attempting to pass the area isn't comforting at all. Those people struggled and they actually had other passengers in their cars looking out of the windows guiding them! I had nobody. I was alone in the 'avoid-the-car' battle.

I felt the strangely, powerful tension when it was my turn. Ok. Must-not-scratch. Must-avoid-embarassment. Many-people-behind-watching.

First right turn, unsuccessful, almost hit the car side-parked towards the left of the lane.

Had to reverse to get the proper angle. Almost had contact with the side-parked right car while reversing. But was too careful to hit the car. Then, had an angle which was the most i could ever get considering my car's position. There was no turning back now. I was already in the middle of the turn. Reversing was virtually impossible now. Heck it, scratch scratch la. No choice. Then, full right turn of steering wheel. Inched forward slowly. And..

..successfully made it. without a scratch.

WALAU! Damn lucky and proud of myself!

I had BIGGER angles to work with in the past and I banged stuff at the side at the right side twice before in my driving history. One is a stationary car parked. Another is a pillar at a shopping mall's carpark.

But this was fantastic. There was probably only ONE possible angle one could work with from my lane and I made it! I really cannot imagine how any cars bigger than mine could turn successfully. Explains why a van in front of me stopped at the side, considering what he should do.

Ok. Drove all the way home feeling all good and confident. Felt super good about myself. HAhaha. Like some pro-ass driver! People behind me at the parking bay must awe-strucked.

BWAHAHAH!

Ok. Probably not.

But people should really avoid parking at the sides. Especially if they don't park their cars nicely. :(

Then don't come back to ur car and marah marah when got scratches and all la!

ish.


Okey. Enough ranting about the carpark.

adios.



-alexeO-

Pronunciation Practice

(very slowly and precisely)The-rain-in-Spain-stays-mainly-in-the-plain.

Repeated another 500X n' i should be alright.

all because some ang mohs can never understand what I'm saying first time(it's not the accent!), and also because I must be good enough to compete with my tutorial mates who all seemed to be able to articulate words with such ease and fluency.

*jealous*

The OTHER problem, which is, my vocabulary, shall be enhanced some other day.

Major inferiority complex alexeo!



if you don't know where I got the rain in spain thing, you should buy yourself a DVD of My Fair Lady and start watching it asap.

for now, it's tv time.



-alexeO-

Alexeo


Beautiful skies.

Watched the pilot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for my Contemporary Television Studies lecture this morning.

Woah the effects were really ... 90s? The vampires looked as though they forgot to remove their masks they wore at the Halloween party the night before. But to be fair, I guess you can't expect much from a 1997 series. Very 'satisfying' however to see the introduction of key characters such as Giles, the girl, and Angel. Hrmph.

Too bad I'm not that much of a Buffy fan, neither am I a fan of Sex and the City, or the Sopranos, which will be shown in the future and are among the series I can choose from for my first assignments.

Why can't they have new series i.e Heroes or Grey's Anatomy! I would definitely prefer analysing the episodes of those series rather than the ones which are pretty outdated. :( But the nice thing is that Friends and South Park would be among the more interesting series which would be shown in the near future!

Okay this post is really boring. I'm really bad at blogging about my daily life which explains why there's rarely a "today I went to bla bla bla lecture and met so and so and so"

But I like people paying attention to the things I say.

So tada. A post for people to read.

I can't state how much I actually appreciate what I'm doing now. Because for one, people don't appreciate things until they lose them and secondly, I am just very 'ordinarily' thankful if that makes sense at all.

Thankful that I'm not stuck in some course which I struggle to pass or do not enjoy, dreading attending classes everyday. Thankful that I'm not asked to calculate some mathematical equation or memorise facts till I literally drop dead on the ground.

I actually learn how to write news feature articles and get to analyse the theoretical aspects behind drama series! How cool is that?

Ok. So analysing series aren't as interesting as watching them, but hey, I got an excuse now to laze in front of the TV and just watch seasons and seasons long of American drama series. Bwahaha.

And my other units require me to argue intelligently during the many times when there are no fixed answers to a specific question. Which is cool. No right or wrong. Just what I like. Cause I always like to argue till I'm right regardless of whether I am really right or wrong in the first place. Tee-hee.

I don't mean to be teasing anyone reading this who are possibly suffering in their respective courses. Everyone has a different taste afterall. What you enjoy may not be what I enjoy and vice versa.

Okay I just blogged for the sake of blogging.

New campus = cool stuff.


-alexeO-

An apologetic post

I'm sorry I took my life for granted acting like I have the most miserable life ever existed.

I'm sorry I never thought about others who may suffer worst than me or share the same fate but handling it much better than me.

I'm sorry I complain about my life I still have control over when people are laying on a bed 24/7, paralysed one half of the body, or depending on a life support system.

I'm sorry I rant so much, acting as if I need the sympathy, when there are people without limbs, starving to death, or dying of a horrible disease.

I'm sorry I feel sorry for myself, when there are people in this world who lost their loved ones, or suffering from a fatal disease.

I'm sorry for feeling miserable about my unexposed health problems, when there are people who are dying a miserable death as I speak.

I'm sorry I didn't appreciate my life.

I'm sorry for thinking as if my life is the worst of all.

I'm sorry for making people who are in a worser condition feel even worst.

Fortunately, I have not taken any drastic actions with my life. No, not suicide, but things less major but not very minor at the same time.

It's gonna be tough after 18 and a half years, but I'm gonna try anyway. Try looking at a more positive side to every single thing which may happen to my life.

Yes, it sounds corny. Yes, it may be cliche. But I understand it now. Even if I may not embrace it fully as yet, I still understand it at least.

There must be people out there who thought how stupid I was thinking my life is in a wreck when I complain about my inability to socialise comfortably.

I may not be the healthiest, or the most friendly, or the most liked, but at least I know I still have a 'normal' life to live for many years to come.

In case you wonder where I finally woke up from my sleep or apparent 'nightmare', it was all because I noticed the lost of someone yesterday. A man, a husband, a father, a grandfather, an artist, or simply, someone who had a life, like any of us. Yes, he was old, but does that justify the time of his death? I'm sure if he had a choice, he would want to continue living a normal, healthy life. And I'm also sure if noticed what I went through, he would not be happy seeing that how an eighteen going on nineteen teenager is feeling as if his world is in such a mess at such a young age. And no, it's not my grandfather, and there's no need to send any condolences because I'm not overly upset or anything as I am not relatively that close to him eventhough he may be considered as a relative of mine. And I'm not saying all these to gain any sympathy whatsoever. It's also to help anyone out there who may share the same perceptions as I did last time. Cliche, but it's worth repeating and posting in this blog to remind me of how life can be so short and fragile that it looks stupid that I, a boy of 19 yrs, actually felt as if my life was heading nowhere and towards a disappointing end.

Which also made the entire problem I faced last time such as the thoughts of what I would face, the fear of being rejected, embarassed or ignored, feel enormously ridiculous.

No, I'm not justifying that death is the only problem in this world people got the right to complain or moan about. There are other things worth complaining about but definitely not what I faced. If you're wondering why I'm actually feeling all these now when it may have seemed minor to your eyes, it was because it wasn't minor to me. My thinking problem was very much over the top and highly 'over-necessary'.

I'm not saying starting tomorrow I would have zero problems socialising or anything like that. I would definitely still have the same ol' problems but it's just that I'm refreshed to know that there are worst things in this world than that. And hopefully, *prays*, I would be able to cope this problem of mine with this stepping stone.

Does this mean no more complaining post in this blog? I cannot guarantee that. Afterall, I never had a philosophy I keep with throughout my life.

I admit I have doubts over religion, which may be triggering all thse feelings of mine. If I have a religion I have a deep faith in, it would probably mean me being more at peace with myself and not having to think of my downsides.

But there are times, no offense, random thoughts of how religion may be for the weak. Or for people who need something to put their blames on. There's a reason for this, and for that. Do people need to feel better by thinking that their miseries are all because the divine controlling the events of their lives for a reason? When people cannot comprehend why someone who does not 'sin' dies, he or she is just being brought closer to the divine? Thus, religion?

I don't know. But when I start 'imagining' that if this world truly has someone up there watching over me, having reasons for several problems I may face, all I know is I definitely feel much, much better. It's sort of something which soothes my soul and comforts me. But will it be wrong if I do not have a 100% deep faith into a particular religion but just 'believe' to make myself better? Then I would be no different from someone looking for something to blame, wouldn't I? As yet, I have not found any reasons whatsoever for me to put my 100% believe in religion. It's comforting, yes, but I would prefer it if I can fully devote my faith towards the so-called divine.

Eventhough it may sound harsh to some, I never intended to question the existence of God. If you are offended, I apologise sincerely.

I want to meet someone who could answer or all my doubts and provide reasonable logical answers to my questions. I don't know who can.

I may be sorry for alot of things but I'm definitely not sorry for one personality of mine people may feel strongly about.

The fact that I think alot, sometimes maybe too much, and the tendency to 'over-analyse'.

Ironically, my tutor asked the class today during today's first tutorial this semester of the unit.

"Would you rather be a happy pig or a sad philosopher?"

All because there was something mentioned before that 'on the more you know, the sadder you will become'.

Happy pigs were the favourite reply.

I was not surprised. Afterall, life is all just about being happy regardless of how much knowledge you may acquire, right? My heart shifted towards the happy pig answer too at that very instant.

And even up to now, the happy pig option seems very tempting.

But I don't know. There are reasons why philosophers think the way they do and they find the satisfaction in doing what they do. Perhaps it's not all about being happy? Perhaps satisfaction is equally as comforting?

What a load of spam I just typed. But it's about time anyway.

I want to be happy, and satisfied.

But that's never possible as I'm a human being.

So I guess life is just all about a journey of finding satisfaction and seeking happiness. Things people normally do not usually ever get at the end of the day.

A long journey of false hopes, regrets and endless cravings.

A long journey of happily never after.



-alexeO-

/\/\.0.|\|./-\.5.|-|




Had my first day of Semester 2 today.

Semester 2 looks promising. As usual workload can be quite heavy but adaptable.

Extremely tired and sleepy.

Lack of sleep the night before. Not used to waking up so early.

Bad thing of this semester is seemingly the fact that i have 4 morning classes out of 4, two 9am and two 11am. But should be ok. At least forces me to wake up in the morning which is, a good habit. Makes me sleep earlier too.

Met a primary school classmate today in the cafeteria. Looks like he just started his course. Until now still don't get why people actually opt for A-levels as their Pre-U program after high school. Now he's 6 months behind and there's no special conditions for him just because he was at A-levels. And dont even start on the UK studies thing. Almost any another 1 year Pre-U programme can go UK already.

I think I shouldn't pour such negativity(i.e, last post) into my blog anymore. I always thought such expressive behaviour will make me feel better but actually it's quite the opposite. I'll only think more about the so-called 'problem' I have by attempting to post it in the blog. It's like, maybe at the early stage it wasn't as critical but because I thought of the problem more at various angles to be posted in the blog as written form, it only made me think much more. more than necessary at least.

So, I'm a changed man.

At least I hope to be.

May this semester bring me newfound joy, happiness, and good grades.

Cheers.



-alexeO-

A conversation with myself

*

Why do I have to think so much before engaging in a simple conversation every time?

No one hates you Alex. They see you for the first time like how you see them for the first time.

No, that's not true. They don't like approaching me because of how I act, how I dress, or how I may seem to them.

Why would anyone think that way? They'll just think you're not sociable and quiet and not approachable when you don't interact as much as you're required to.

But you don't know what first impression I may give. What if I really give a bad first impression until people start off with a negative feeling even before they got to know me. What if my attitude is not meant to be liked?

You wouldn't know until you try.

I can't stand rejection. I can't stand having people dislike me or hate me. I can't stand people not talking to me because they don't want to. I rather live with the satisfaction that people aren't talking to me because I am not talking to them.

Try.

What if I TRY TOO HARD. And I end up being annoying? That'll totally suck.

Your thinking problem is pretty extreme huh?

I know, Alex. I know.

*

New semester means meeting new people and people I knew for 5 months but haven't really formed a 'comfortable relationship' with.

Which once again, revived the battle of my self-esteem personalities and countless thoughts.

I'm verging on self-destruction once again.

I want to change. Once and for all.

But it's so tough.


-alexeO-

Ancora Imparo

..is my university's motto.

I think it means "I am still learning".

But that's not the point.

Few weeks back, I went to the new Monash University campus in Sunway with Richmond to do some... uni stuff. We took the time walking around checking out the facilities which weren't installed fully yet at that time.

I initially thought I would be giving a very in-depth analysis and review of the new campus but I realised there are some people out there who have done better already.

Yala. I got nothing better to do but to google "Monash Malaysia New Campus" and check out some blogs which spoke about the new campus.

Nice to know that the library has shifted finally and there were damn many ppl using the facilities! Nice library area. Neat classrooms too. N da cafetaria looks good.

So, in-depth analysis and review next time. Equipped with nice photos of the "Library and Learning Commons" and classrooms. Second Semester starts Monday what. :)

I wanted to bitch about how rude the course managers were in Monash but I don't feel like doing it anymore. Lazy to complain. Maybe when I have the mood next time.

So anyway,


Aerial view of the new campus. Photo courtesy of Monash Sunway official website.

Monash Sunway new Campus which I would be going to on Monday.

If you are wondering where I studied before, the OLD monash was situated IN SyUC. Right behind it and it was a super turn-off for anyone who may opt to study in Monash.

Seriously.

That WAS one of the reasons I was reluctant to study in Monash at first.

First it was darn ugly and classrooms are kinda like "hidden" away from everything. Lol. But it wasn't THAT bad la after I started to study in it. Learned to like it and developed a 'bond' after several months.

But now, I get to enter this brand new awesome campus!

With an awesome looking Sky Bridge!


Photo courtesy of Monash Sunway official website.

Wahahaha!

Okla. Since I said this wouldn't be an in-depth review, so I shall end this post with pictures taken with Richmond's N95. -_-

Actually partly coz I suddenly feel lazy also. Bwahaha.

But I'll really post another post which boast about the new campus soon!


Long walkway from carpark. Photo taken from the campus building towards the carpark. What a sucky long, hot, tiring trip to the campus building it might be if I'm late for class.


The first thing which welcomes you to the campus if you are coming from the carpark.


Nice architecture. I know the color of the building sucks but hey, it's curved. Bet that impressed you huh. Bwahaha.


That's the entrance to the Library area. Super nice sign. Haha. A 3-floor building of its own. Pretty cool eh?


One of the many computer labs.

Ok. Seriously lost the mood to elaborate further.

My holidays ended already. :(

But at least the new campus gives me something to look forward to.

Afterall, Ancora Imparo. Right? ._.


side note: watched harry potter. was okay. could have been better. editing and acting got abit of problem. other than that was pretty good. hrmph. oh well. preferred the Goblet of Fire movie.


/end

-alexeO-

Truly Malaysian

Where else in the world can you chill late in the night, with relatively many people around you, and be guaranteed of good food and drinks?



Teck-"It's a video la bugger"-Eng cameraman.

The Malaysian Mamak, of course!

Alex = Round, fat, ugly and annoying. What a wake up call this video is!


-alexeO-

!!!!

Damn crap!

I was waiting for the whole day of YESTERDAY to post this up but I only got to do it now! ARGH!

Anyway,



happy 7/7/07.

-_-


the reason i couldn't update was that i spent the whole day reformatting my computer.

I HATE REFORMATTING!

okla, it was my first time.

i didn't know i had to go thru so much hassle!

Firstly, the backup process took so long.

Then, the reformatting process also took equally long if not longer!

Then after that, I lost all my drivers and I had to search through thick dust and spider webs to locate my Driver CDs. Argh.

And until now, I think I haven't installed ALL of them yet but i'm not going to anymore cause I can do all the basic stuff already.

Sigh. I lost alot of features I use to have before I reformatted. :(

I feel super uncomfortable now cause I think my computer level is not at its optimum.
Now like.. have to restart everything again..

The good thing is, alot of things which couldn't work before could work already la.. like... youtube loading fully nicely and successful dload and installation of programs.. but still...

OH well.

since i was late, happy 8/7/07 i guess. :/



-alexeO-

A Vow

From today onwards, there will be no stupid suggestion from me like "bottoms up" when it comes to drinking. There will be no obeying such demands either.

Especially if I were to drive home an hour later.

I made it home safely after driving around aimlessly in a tipsy mode trying to find my way back. Not because I wasn't conscious of my directions, but because I had no idea even before I drank.

So not bad, 10 marks to me. Extra 5 marks because I wasn't fully sober.

and yes, I know drinking and driving is bad, and dangerous. But I have to go home right? I wasn't THAT tipsy till I cannot drive anyway.

Head's thumping, my digested food threatening to come out this very instant.

Come to think of it, bottom-ing up a cocktail is stupid and the after-effect isn't as nice as getting high, slowly.


Goodnight.


-alexeO-

In desperate need to grow up

I was blog surfing randomly just now when I came across several blogs which were relatively popular and are undoubtedly, interesting reads. Several girls dressed in sexy tops equipped with a reasonable amount of makeup on their faces.

It wasn’t long until I realized they were people my age.

*drum rolls*
.
.
.

Yeah. The girls who seemed so mature and tall and full of energy were born on the same year with me, and got the same level of education as I have.

And then an imaginary mirror appeared in front of my face and I swiftly push the mirror to the side with a sigh.

=(

I’m...


so..


Childish. Or immature. Or whatever synonyms relevant.



For my age that is.

The girls were enjoying their teenage years to the fullest and I am here wasting my life doing childish stuff. And worrying about immature things. Like.. complaining daily on things which doesn't really matter.

And just look at my face. Super babyface. People actually mistaken the girls for being in their mid 20s and people thinks I'm having PMR at the end of this year. =(

I bet if I hang out with any of those girls people will think I'm their younger brother or something.

Sigh.

I'm wasting my teenage years and that suck.

Why am I not out partying and all like the girls. I don't speak their lingo and I certainly do not possess the same level of maturity as those girls. Why do they blog about drinking, clubbing, partying and stuff people my age should be doing.

And why do they look so.. mature.

I never thought I was in such a situation until recently as I grew up with people who weren't... that much of a difference with me.

I blame my school peers! Bwahaha.

One thing which suck though which I cannot do anything about is the fact that I'm far, far, far too short for my age.

*frowns*

70% of girls my age are taller than me. And that include the mature party girls too.

And that certainly wouldn't help the fact that my face looks like a bloody 15 year old.

I'm not saying that maturity means clubbing and drinking but the need to start thinking more maturely and do things which people will point and say, "Wah mature!" must certainly be there. But not pretending ler.

AIYAH. Don't know how to phrase it. I know I've beaten around the bush throughout this entire post but I was just finding a way to rephrase it. Nevermind.

Just know that I have a babyface, am short, and other people my age are having fun partying and I'm not.

-_-

Damn cheong hei.

Anyways,
On the way back from my parent's office just now, the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" played and I suddenly remembered Katharine McPhee's superb rendition of it on American Idol Top 3 round last year.



Damn good. Must listen!

I was rooting for Elliott to masuk the finals but after Katharine's performance, I was feeling rather... worried and neutral at the same time.
What about the other contestant since it's Top THREE, you ask.

Well,
It was only a battle among those 2 because Taylor Hicks was obviously entering the finals already considering his huge fanbase. Hmmph. *tak puas*


On another note, I think my computer is infested with virus. Loads of em'.

And the thing which suck is that I cannot do anything about it. Any files which I attempt to download from the internet does not get approve by my Windows as they say the file does not have a valid digital signature or something. Even a web browser such as Mozilla Firefox cannot be downloaded because apparently, it is 'corrupted'.

Stupid Windows.

Same goes to my antivirus software. And I don't have any antivirus softwares on a CD which I can install. So there you go, a virus infected computer which operating system does not allow file downloads breaking down by the minute.

*

I re-read everything I just typed and I realised I'm a damn drama and emo person.
*gasp*

That's not good for a masculine man like me. *flexes muscles and faces towards the sky*

WAH I REALLY HAVE TO STOP THIS STAR FOLLOWED BY ACTION THING FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER STAR!

Damn drama and annoying I know.

Adding "Be More Manly and Less Drama" to my soon-to-achieve resolution list which already has Be More Mature, Be More Fit, Be More Sociable as the few of many things marked on it.

I'm such a failure in life. Not a true manly man and not a happy, healthy person either. I suck in sports and academic wise, I don't come out tops either.

Shit. I think I'm going on an emo breakdown once again.



*crumbles into a million pieces*
-alexeO-

Before I forget

My course manager in Monash is the rudest most freaking ignorant piece of crap ever existed in this world!

Some coursemates of mine may be gasping at that very statement but i dun care cause it's true.

Yes. Guys. Him. The one with the smile everytime u enter his office, the one who seemed so willing to help when you approach him. It's not real! *frustrated face* He's a totally diff creature when it's not during the semester days. Probably frustrated I'm there disturbing his supposed-break or something.

More info on that in my later post.

*

I've watched Transformers yesterday with the guys. Super.

Yea I loved POTC3(eventhough many thought it wasn't great) but Transformers has got a different edge to it.

If I were to rank the big big movies I've watched this year, it has got to be,

1)Transformers
2)Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End

BIG GAP

3)Spiderman 3
4)Ocean's 13
5)Shrek 3
6)Others.

That's about it I think.

I've entered the second half of the year in one piece which incidentally also marks the first half of my holidays completed.

Till next time.


-alexeO-

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix



Trailer for the movie.

looks damn good. must watch!


-alexeO-

You think you know..

..but you actually don't.

*

Internet di rumah rosak lagi..

macam mana la ni.

*sigh*


-alexeO-

Random

I just realised how ugly this blog layout looks if you are using Mozilla Firefox.

Wait. It doesn't stop there.

Include, if you are using a resolution less than 1280x1024.
If you are using any other browsers besides IE.
If you have a funnily-shaped monitor.
If you disagree with my taste in colors.

Ok that's a long list of how my blog could look ugly.
Actually there's more, but I wanna save some pride for myself so I shall stop there.

(yeah I understand how ugly my blog looks but I tried editing the template here and there but it only got worst, and there're no real good skins out there for me to select to replace this ugly layout :()

On another note,

I've finished my exams and my second semester stars on the 16th of July. Which is an approximate ONE month from now.
Gives me time to relax and do stuff I wanna do.
Except that, today was officially the first day of my break and it was really boring.

I don't know why but I'm having a headache now eventhough I slept for reasonably long
hours. Sigh. Sicky alexeo.

My previous post may give the false impression to some that I'm a cowardy and friend-less boy but I'm actually not. Sometimes, i really do think too much and that's something which I am trying to change. The people around me are great and all it takes is time for me to start appreciating them. :)

so now,

one whole month to escape reality.

i'll hopefully not waste it like any of my previous holidays.

toodles~(shit where did i get that from)



-alexeO-

Of friendship and friends

The saddest thing about my life is not the fact that I'm short, fat and stupid. It's the fact that I just cannot get the hang of the social-life people often boast about indirectly with their whole entourage of friends.

Whatever I do, regardless of smiling more or less, I just cannot make friends that easily.

When I smile less, people think I'm unfriendly and not-approachable.

When I smile more, people think I'm a lunatic and crazy.

I don't know how to strike a balance.

Then my low-self esteem comes into play. Everytime I see a certain someone's reaction towards my actions or just towards my presence, I automatically become paranoid.

"omg. she hates me."

"omg. he thinks i'm annoying."

"omg. they must be talking about me."

I just can't help it.

It's not being 'perasan' or anything like that. Sometimes, you just feel certain things and I certainly feel it almost all the time.

So in order not to make people 'hate' me or think i'm 'annoying', I hide myself in a corner, hoping that people will not hear me talk as much thus they would hopefully not talk bad about me cause they don't know me.

The result? The 'unapproachable' boy at the corner who seems as though the whole world is his enemy.

I'm so bad at this it's not funny anymore.

I consider myself only close to people who have seen my true silly behaviours and the part of me which I do NOT show in this new, strange environment.

Therefore, I generally feel closer to my high school friends cause after being in the same class for so many years, I obviously managed to come out of my shell.

I also understand that people who do not know me as well thinks I'm annoying and rude at first impression. Yea, I may not have the most polite speaking manners but that's my way of 'tightening-the-bond' if you like. My way of socialising. That's how I talk when I'm comfortable. I don't really mean to be rude or have any bad intentions. :(

I don't even know why I'm suddenly pouring out my miseries here in this blog.

I just finished my last paper few hours ago and I should be jumping for joy and not sit down behind the screen blogging about this. :/

But I can't help it. It's bugging me. To an extent that I can't feel the happiness and relief I should feel after my exams.

This is where the ability to Mind Read comes handy.

What do people actually think of me? Especially newly-met strangers.


Hmmm.


Will I really want to know?



-alexeO-

I don't usually do this but...

...today's an exception.

Cause 2 very special people are celebrating their birthday today! And they're ironically VERY 'identical' people too.


click to enlarge


To my favourite (or rather 'only ones i know') pair of twins in the world...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


May TE have a nice 2nd-half-of-the-year in the United States, and TK to do some reading in Reading. Bwahaha get it?

nvm.

anyway, hope you guys enjoy your final teenage year. it's nothing much, but hey, every year is something for the super-ambitious duo. :)


sidenote: final paper this friday! after that im freeeeeeee. at least for another month. :|

/endbirthdaypost


-alexeO-

1 down


Click on the banner to visit my 2nd blog, "look. it's my life".
*It was set up some time ago cause I was too free and now I decided to use that blog to post any compositions of mine over there. Be it a poem(yea rite) or lyrics, film narratives, etc... just keep in mind that blog exists.*

*

COM1010 a.k.a Media Studies down. Stupid theoretical compulsary first-year unit. Despite it being very very knowledgable and somewhat 'intelligent', it's still a subject which gives me a headache. It's all about the connotation of the denotation.
argh. *pain*

Had a thumping headache today. Eye was bengkak like shit when I took my 2-hr paper. I literally had one eye closed when I was writing my essay. -_-
Not because it was easy ok. But my eye was super bengkak.

It was super uncomfortable. I think I'm never gonna stay up studying on an exam day anymore. The feeling is miserable. Not only I did my exam with only my left eye, but I went home with this headache and had to take a long nap to regain my conciousness.

It's 1.50am now and I feel as though if I sleep now, I would be wasting most of my day. Sigh. Stupid feeling.

So I have Contemporary Worlds 1(the 20th century history subject) test on Monday and my newsroom paper next Friday.

After that, I'm off for a month.

Someone go out with me please. Movie, lunch, supper, anything. Thx. (I know Teck Eng is free.) :)


Thanks.


(blogging cause I am finding an excuse not to start studying)
-alexeO-

Exam Period


Impersonating Hiro Nakamura from Heroes.


Exams tomorrow.
For the first time in my life, I have 3 papers which just require me to write, write and write.

Just what I like? No. Not really when it's overdone.

I shouldn't be blogging.

The funny thing is, I have nothing to look forward to after my exams. I think I like university. :)

gl alex.


-alexeO-

Sunset upon me

Wow. Just like that, my whole first semester has reached its final pit stop.

I started sometime on February(I think), and the clock ticked to the first of June about 2 hours ago as I'm typing this sentence.

My university application hasn't been all straightforward and direct. Nor has it been an easy choice or an obvious one. It was all complicated until I finally put pen onto paper (more like submitting my deposit, actually), and tada! I'm enrolled into the Bachelor of Communication, Semester 1 2007.

I'm not gonna go into the usual "wah time passed damn fast man" but "wow. time really passes fast."

Ok the reasons for the complications surrounding my university submission.

Firstly, the whole "eeee alex is taking communication thing". I mean, no disrespect to other ppl who may be taking this very course but there's this whole very 'judgemental' thing from the environment I grew up in. Friends and family alike.
Yea, dont deny. So I pretty much got confused and don't wanna be sorta 'looked down'?

That's all I think. It's stupid I know. I think too much, I know. But it's just me.

And my experiences of trying to convince people I'm doing communications and NOT mass comm!!!

So many times when I told people I'm doing Communication, they will immediately think of Mass Comm! Ok so my course has a little Mass-Comm stuff in it but it is really different la! Mass Comm, if i'm not wrong, focuses more specifically on like ways to advertise a product, ways to be a good PR, ways of etc, etc... and I don't really do that.

If i were to be theoretical, I would say that Mass Communications focuses on the American Empirical approach. This approach's sociopolitical stance is said to be liberal or pluralistic and its form of knowledge is taken from controlled and measurable occurences, like in a lab experiment.

On the other hand, the communication course which is what I'm studying now, is more macro in scope and its sociopolitical stance is 'critical of the society as it exists'. Influenced by the Marxist tradition.

If that is not convincing enough to prove that Mass Comm and Comm is different, I don't know what else is.

(ah, nothing like a few seconds to show off with complex terms and analogies. bwahaha)

OK ANYWAY,
After roughly about 4-5 months, I begun to notice who this course actually attracts! *besides the usual bimbos and .. guys*

*

1) 'Lost' people like me who realised during their Pre-U year that they really just cannot do science and have no where else to go. So with what they think, their slightly above-average english, they enrolled into this course thinking that they can cope with the english level and (hopefully) do well.

2) Artsy-Fartsy people. People who what I like to call, has an 'anti-establishment stance' or against the norms of the society. More specifically, don't wanna just be a typical behind-the-desk worker or do some business or some IT technical stuff.

In other words, aspiring musicians, poets, film-makers, performing artists, creative artists, etc.

3) People who thought that Communication = Mass Communication. Sorry.

4) People with &*^E$%^#$%@# SUPERDUPEREXTRAFABULOUSFERGIELICIOUSGLAMOROUSSHAKESPEARE english. What they heck are they doing here intimidating their coursemates, making them feeling inferior all they long?! Go speak with your accent and usage of complex vocabulary somewhere else.

5) Good speakers. and I mean GOOD. (Different from number 4.), people who love talking but hates law.

6) People who genuinely love studying about the theoretical aspects behind the media and communications field. :|

7) People who love Monash University in Malaysia and cannot do anything else but Communications. Damn.

8) Lain-lain.

*

So goodbye my first semester!
It has been great, albeit pretty tedious(YES GOT WORK ONE OK?!), but I still enjoyed most of it.

Exams coming soon and I really want to do well and have a great start to the course.
Wish me luck, my pals.



-alexeO-

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry

Because I'm a fan of Fergie.



and because I'm your friend. And I like sharing good things with my friend.

enjoy ;)

-alexeO-

=(

Nick Cheong deleted my contact on MSN because I told him he idolised KennySia!

=( Less one 'afternoon-person' to talk to!

Lost my wise-talk and discussion buddy!!

Sigh.



year 2004. those were the days *sob* (ahh wat is he doing to meeee??!)



wow i looked like crap.




-alexeO-

Heartbreaking expectations

I spent many hours yesterday creating the powerpoint slides for my assignment presentation today for my journalism subject.

I practiced alot.

I did my presentation a few hours ago and my lecturer think I did pretty well.

However,
I disappointed myself.

I spoke in lightning speed, and yet I still went over-time.

And so many things I wanted to say but I didn't.

And my little struggle to find words. And my horrible articulation of words.

*
I was so angry I started shouting loudly when I was alone in my car.
Not. satisfied. at. all.
*

SIGH.
Do I have too high expectations of myself?

Why can I never be satisfied with my presentations?


/endrant

-alexeO-

Tag #2

Tagged by SzeJia during my break from the net.
So here it is.

*

TAG.

1. 5 things found in my bag
- Books - Readers, Unit Guides, Unit Books, Monash Handbook.
- Stacks and stacks of messy notes - both self written and printed.
- Highlighter
- Shades/Glasses in one box.
- Stapler and Pen.

What? What do you expect from a guy's schoolbag huh.

2. 5 things found in your wallet
- Gym Membership card - Yah dont give me that look.
- Identification card - 13 year old face.
- Perfume test paper thingies - you know those rectangular piece of soft cardboard they give you to test the perfumes? yea. i have that to make my wallet smell nice.
- Random Sticker photos - With people I don't really care about. Haha.
- Foreign notes - I collect them.

Money not much though, pretty broke.

3. 5 favourite things in your room
- Computer
- Bed
- Cupboard
- Rolling comfy chairs
- Have I mentioned, computer?


4. 5 things you've always wanted to do
- Super long holiday break in the Bahamas or some super nice beachside resort.
- Sing on a stage to a relatively large audience
- Get hooked up
- Organise or design something which ppl will acknowledge and praise me for
- Produce movies/short films.


5. 5 things you're currently into
- Assignments.
- Planning of a storyline for my first short film or movie.
- Thinking how to get my life back on track
- Digital camcorders.
- Nescafe Mocha.


6. 5 persons that you tagged
- Nick Cheong
- KarWai
- Joseph Yap
- ZhiVen (do u read my blog still?)
- Whoever who wants to do it.


End of tag.

-alexeO-

Cool pretty accurate stuff

Hands itchy while blog surfing.

Saw this quiz in KarWai's blog and so i started doing myself.
Eh not bad. Quite pleased with the results.

yala yala, maybe the answers are designed in such a way that everyone will say "yea yea true" but i think it's still relevant la to me.

so if u wanna know more about me, read the answers below. the perhaps 'shocking' truth? of me. :)

*

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.



-alexeO-

Tag #1

A comeback from my long absence from the internet from the comfort of home.. ahhh... this feels good.

Because I got tagged by Joseph during my brief hiatus, i'm gonna do it now! Seems fun. Here goes.

*

1. Put your music player on shuffle.2. Press forward for each question.3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. No cheating.4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.5. Tag 5 people.

How are you feeling today?
Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance: Well not really, but what the heck. I guess I'm all emo deep inside.

Will you get far in life?
All Black - Good Charlotte: Doubt it since my life is all black.

How do your friends see you?
Everyday I Love You - Boyzone: Thanks. I love you guys everyday too.

Will you get married?
Buttons - Pussy Cat Dolls: Not when I can have girls around me everyday asking me to loosen up their buttons.

What is your best friend's theme song?
Irreplacable - Beyonce: They think I'm irreplacable.

What is the story of your life?
Making Love Out of Nothing At All - Air Supply: Throughout my life, I make my own love out of nothing at all.

What was high school like?
Goodbye - Air Supply: Full of goodbyes at the last day of school, but other than that, I guess it's goodbye to the principles who came for like such a short term and left.

How can you get ahead in life?
And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going - Lakisha Jones: I insist I won't be going anywhere until I achieve my aims in life.

What's the best thing about your friends?
Glamorous (Feat. Ludacris) - Fergie: They're simply glamorous!

What's in store for this weekend?
I Finally Found Someone (Feat. Bryan Adams) - Barbara Streisand: WOW! I hope so!

Describe your grandparents.
Over my Head - The Fray: Up there watching me over my head.

How's your life going?
You Give Me Something - James Morrison: Can't..relate. sorry i've tried.

What song will they play at your funeral?
Beautiful Liar (Feat. Shakira) - Beyonce: !!!

How does the world see you?
What I've Done - Linkin Park: Stop looking at what i've done and start looking at what I will do.

Will you have a happy life?
Come to Me (Feat. Nicole) - P. Diddy: I will if Nicole come to me.

What do your friends really think of you?
If Everyone Cared - Nickelback: If everyone actually cared for me, I will turn out better.

Do people secretly lust after you?
Walk Away - Paula Deanda: No, they just walk away.

How can you make yourself happy?
With Love - Hilary Duff: With love.

What should you do with your life?
Imagine - John Lennon: Imagine!

Will you ever have children?
Wonderwall - Oasis: Can't relate.

What song should you strip to?
Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne: I shall keep holding on to my clothes.

What does your mum think of you?
Always - Bon Jovi: Always annoying.

What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
Say It Right - Nelly Furtado: Yea say it right ass.

What's your personality like?
Beautiful Stranger - Madonna: Beautiful, mysterious, anonymous.

What song will be played at your wedding?
I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance: eh! cannot!

Tagg
0)Anyone sorry.

*

-alexeO-

Everyday Headache

T_T

I want to go online at home

Saya nak pergi internet di rumah

wo yao 'internet' zai jia

ngo you internet zai ouk agaehgah



:(

how come suddenly spoilt

sigh.


-alexeo-

Assignment round two

Lazy but cannot laze.

Angry but cannot scream.

Frustrated but cannot show.

Restless but cannot move.

Sleepy but cannot sleep.



I'm so sick and tired cracking my head thinking of what to say the best way possible. I really am.

But so is everyone else.


-alexeO-

I'm Tigger

Which famous feline are you?

You're Tigger. Playful and fun-loving, you enjoy hanging out with friends even though you don't always have to be the center of attention. You're never pessimistic or sluggish. Your enthusiasm is at once endearing and over-the-top. You're the quintessential extrovert.
Take this quiz!








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that doesn't look like tigger.

but wat the heck.

:/

if you don't know who Tigger is, give yourself a smack on the head.


"woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"

-alexeO-

3 angry souls are gonna decimate me into a million pieces

Lol.

Up to now, I'm not even sure myself if I should be posting this up.

But hey, wat the heck, right? Everbody gotta start somewhere. ;)

Presenting...

..my very first short film made together with 3 girls..

..shot and edited in a very limited time span..

..all done within a beginner's film making workshop in my uni..

..featuring very laughable, to an extent embarassing, amatur-ish acting,

enjoy.. what we call it as,

The 3 Bimbos.

sidenote: don't even bother turning ur speakers louder to hear the on-going dialogues and audio. it's not worth ur time. coz all said was simply trash.




HAHAHA!

so malu!

i am so not gonna make this my official first short film. grr.

-alexeO-

;l

i have an interesting course.

which has interesting assignments.

which is fun to research and work on.

my course also allows me to be given many opportunities other courses don't get such as film making around campus, university radio etc.

everything seems great.

except,

the stupid contemporary worlds subject a.k.a world history which is a compulsory first year subject.

the assignments aren't bad but,

too much work. too much hassle. and too much understanding to do.

and i have such a lousy general knowledge. i don't know anything about history other than my own life's history.

today i 'accidentally' told my contemporary worlds lecturer i have not really started the assignment and her expression was priceless.

i could see my impression marks flying away. why did i even say that. stupid me.

weeeeeeeeeee.

i need to entertain myself.


-alexeO-