In desperate need to grow up

I was blog surfing randomly just now when I came across several blogs which were relatively popular and are undoubtedly, interesting reads. Several girls dressed in sexy tops equipped with a reasonable amount of makeup on their faces.

It wasn’t long until I realized they were people my age.

*drum rolls*
.
.
.

Yeah. The girls who seemed so mature and tall and full of energy were born on the same year with me, and got the same level of education as I have.

And then an imaginary mirror appeared in front of my face and I swiftly push the mirror to the side with a sigh.

=(

I’m...


so..


Childish. Or immature. Or whatever synonyms relevant.



For my age that is.

The girls were enjoying their teenage years to the fullest and I am here wasting my life doing childish stuff. And worrying about immature things. Like.. complaining daily on things which doesn't really matter.

And just look at my face. Super babyface. People actually mistaken the girls for being in their mid 20s and people thinks I'm having PMR at the end of this year. =(

I bet if I hang out with any of those girls people will think I'm their younger brother or something.

Sigh.

I'm wasting my teenage years and that suck.

Why am I not out partying and all like the girls. I don't speak their lingo and I certainly do not possess the same level of maturity as those girls. Why do they blog about drinking, clubbing, partying and stuff people my age should be doing.

And why do they look so.. mature.

I never thought I was in such a situation until recently as I grew up with people who weren't... that much of a difference with me.

I blame my school peers! Bwahaha.

One thing which suck though which I cannot do anything about is the fact that I'm far, far, far too short for my age.

*frowns*

70% of girls my age are taller than me. And that include the mature party girls too.

And that certainly wouldn't help the fact that my face looks like a bloody 15 year old.

I'm not saying that maturity means clubbing and drinking but the need to start thinking more maturely and do things which people will point and say, "Wah mature!" must certainly be there. But not pretending ler.

AIYAH. Don't know how to phrase it. I know I've beaten around the bush throughout this entire post but I was just finding a way to rephrase it. Nevermind.

Just know that I have a babyface, am short, and other people my age are having fun partying and I'm not.

-_-

Damn cheong hei.

Anyways,
On the way back from my parent's office just now, the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" played and I suddenly remembered Katharine McPhee's superb rendition of it on American Idol Top 3 round last year.



Damn good. Must listen!

I was rooting for Elliott to masuk the finals but after Katharine's performance, I was feeling rather... worried and neutral at the same time.
What about the other contestant since it's Top THREE, you ask.

Well,
It was only a battle among those 2 because Taylor Hicks was obviously entering the finals already considering his huge fanbase. Hmmph. *tak puas*


On another note, I think my computer is infested with virus. Loads of em'.

And the thing which suck is that I cannot do anything about it. Any files which I attempt to download from the internet does not get approve by my Windows as they say the file does not have a valid digital signature or something. Even a web browser such as Mozilla Firefox cannot be downloaded because apparently, it is 'corrupted'.

Stupid Windows.

Same goes to my antivirus software. And I don't have any antivirus softwares on a CD which I can install. So there you go, a virus infected computer which operating system does not allow file downloads breaking down by the minute.

*

I re-read everything I just typed and I realised I'm a damn drama and emo person.
*gasp*

That's not good for a masculine man like me. *flexes muscles and faces towards the sky*

WAH I REALLY HAVE TO STOP THIS STAR FOLLOWED BY ACTION THING FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER STAR!

Damn drama and annoying I know.

Adding "Be More Manly and Less Drama" to my soon-to-achieve resolution list which already has Be More Mature, Be More Fit, Be More Sociable as the few of many things marked on it.

I'm such a failure in life. Not a true manly man and not a happy, healthy person either. I suck in sports and academic wise, I don't come out tops either.

Shit. I think I'm going on an emo breakdown once again.



*crumbles into a million pieces*
-alexeO-