=(

I normally get my alarm from my handphone to wake me up for classes especially during the morning sessions.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I searched and looked, I couldn't find my handphone last night (i only realised the next day that I left my handphone in my car). So I trusted my trusty alarm#2 i.e, my Arsenal table clock, to do the waking up job for me.

Alarm#2 did a reasonably good job waking me up at 9.30am the next day for my 11am lecture. It's just unfortunate that Alarm#2 does not have a 'snooze' button. So I had to manually switch off the alarm and depend on my own willpower and strength to pull myself out of my bed after the '5 more minutes of sleep' everyone seeks when they attempt to wake up.

I failed miserably.

The next time I opened my eyes, my Arsenal alarm clock showed 10.55am. 5 more minutes to class. And I was still lying sleepily on my bed.

"Bah, heck it la," I thought. "Just another long-winded lecture on globalisation."

So I slept, with the pleasing thought that my next class, which was a tutorial, will only be at 3pm.. meaning another extra 3 hours or so of sleep.

Something which I don't remember what woke me up a while later which prompted me to lazily look at my Arsenal alarm clock for the time.

1.05pm.

Great. One more hour. Should be sufficient to give me a nice long rest. And then I dozed off once again.

Something else made me wake up later. I was not sure what it was. But all I thought was, "wow. glad I had that extra hour. I feel so much less sleepy now somehow."

Then I stared to the windows outside and thought of how cloudy the day looked today.

I then searched for the Arsenal alarm clock I left aside to get the time.

"1.05pm"

Hmm. Strange. Wasn't it 1.05pm the last time I woke up?

And then to my horror, I saw the minutes hand of the clock moving forward and backwards in successive motion.

My alarm clock ran out of battery.


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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


I prayed to the heavens(for the first time) and hoped that it was somehow still 2pm or so and the alarm clock simply 'ran out of battery' not long after I dozed off. The first clock I saw outside my room showed "9.30". WTF!!%$#@!%!# DOESNT ANY CLOCK WORK AROUND HERE.

I went to a family member's room and started shrieking silently to myself when I saw the time displayed on the working clock.

5.00pm.

T_T

Because I felt so bad, because I felt like I've wasted my day, because I felt like oversleeping a 3pm class is very irresponsible of me, and because I know that my tutor would be returning my first assignment today..

.. I made my way to uni at 5.30pm. After i got ready.

And after surviving through a mini-jam to uni, I walked to my tutor's office hoping he was still there. I knew chances were low cause it was after-work time but I didn't care. I felt so angry with myself I had to make myself travel the extra journey and pay the extra effort for something I was not sure was even there.

And so it turned out he WAS indeed still there, on his mobile phone, as I peeked into his office. He saw me peeking and prompted me to enter.

I told him I would be attending tomorrow's tutorial cause I missed today's and asked for my assignment.

His reply shattered the already 'broken' me.

"You didn't do very well."

"I was hoping more from you, Alex."

His words weren't as hurtful as the self-realization of my results as I flipped the pages.

I cannot remember clearly what he said after that but it was something along the lines of he thinks I am a potential High D scorer as I was with him for one semester and I clearly disappointed him or something like that.

I routinely told him I would try to work harder for my upcoming assignments but he just shrugged and said 'you better' or something like that.

The thing is, how would he know, right? I mean he himself said ONE semester. one FREAKING semester. And maybe it was all fluke, I duno.

Aih. But the fact which remains is, I still sucked at that assignment. And it hurt real, real badly. And the worst thing is? He's the same lecturer/tutor I have with my feature writing unit too, which I have an assignment long overdue.

So one semester of good impression gone with the wind I guess. Just like that.

I posted last time on how a bad result may be able to pick me up again and trigger me to work harder.

And so I got the apparent 'trigger-er' already.

Has the apparent 'determination' arrive yet?


Iono. =(


-alexeO-