The Sociological Big Bang

I like how, we all live our own little individual lives, then one day our lives cross path and intersect and we become apart of each others lives, no matter how big or small the extent is.

If you're reading this post, chances are you lived your own Alex-less life until you met me, and whether I make you happy or otherwise now, you still felt the same emotions or otherwise while you lived a pre-Alex life, before you met me basically. In other words, there was any other person or thing which played the Alex role in your life before you met me, or if there wasn't, it means that I have brought something new and special to your life and that's just awesome.

Wow I've complicated something in words which I could understand so easily in my head.

Anyway, I just thought it was cool that two separate individuals can grow up, mature, live and consequently mould their respective identities according to their own happenings in life, without knowing the existence of one another, and then there comes the day when these 2 individuals cross path and the effects of this "intersection" I think, to me at least is very interesting. Particularly when these individuals are considerably so sure of their own identities are lives already.

An example could be the people we meet in university or the workplace I guess.

I think this mostly boils down to the uniqueness in the individual and all.

I don't know the point of this post. It has been something I've been thinking of and reading things such as relatively 'new' friends' super old blog archives simply make me wonder.

In fact I shouldn't even be thinking things like that or reading blog archives now. Paper up very soon.

I hope I succeeded in making it sound as interesting as it is in my head. :( You get the point. I hope.



-alexeO-

Twilight (not the book)

I wish serenity came without a price.



-alexeO-

I Broke My Mug

I wish I have something to blog about.

Partly because there is nothing to note or share in this idle period, partly because I'm being typically restrictive on my part because I have to.

Whatever it is, to know, to feel something, good or bad, is better than feeling nothing and having no idea at all, having no control, no knowledge, no grasp, no grip of the situation and the events around you. Afterall, emotions make me feel alive and human, and I'm not very good at being spontaneous.

For now, to sum my current state of mind - tugged the line too hard, wish things are how I want them to be.

Hence,

I wish I have something to blog about.

And I probably will after I get my photos uploaded.



-alexeO-

Zombie Flu

Update on HINI 09 influenza

***********************************************************************
A message from the Vice-Chancellor, Professor Richard Larkins AO
***********************************************************************
Following a significant increase in the number of confirmed cases of HINI
09 in Victoria, it is now almost certain that in the next one or two
weeks
confirmed cases of HINI 09 will emerge amongst students and staff at
Monash. Such confirmed cases will be reported by the testing laboratories
to the Department of Human Services (DHS), who in turn will work with the
University to implement appropriate infectious disease management
procedures as usual.

State and federal health authorities are considering a change in the
current level of alert from the "contain" phase to the "sustain" phase of
the Pandemic plan. During the "sustain" phase, which lasts until a
vaccine is available, quarantine is limited to people who share a home
with a confirmed case of H1N1 09. In the 'sustain" phase, anti-viral
medication is not given to people who present with typical flu-like
symptoms, and schools and workplaces are not usually subject to closure.

What this may mean for Monash

It is likely that throughout the "sustain" phase, DHS will not recommend
closure or restriction of activities of any part of the University, and
therefore classes and examinations, like all other activities, will
proceed as usual. The University will continue to liaise closely with DHS
and cooperate fully with their requirements.

Personal responsibility

Reducing transmission of this virus requires an increased level of
effective hand washing and cough etiquette together with a reduction in
hand to face contact. These remain the most important actions that you
can
take to limit the spread of this virus. The University has arranged for
the installation of portable alcohol based hand wash stations in and
around all food outlets and eating areas and you are encouraged to clean
your hands thoroughly before eating.

It is important that staff and students act responsibly in the interests
of their own and their colleague's health. If you are unwell and think
that you may have flu-like symptoms, it is important you consult your own
local doctor immediately and do not come to University until your doctor
advises it is appropriate to do so. As I am sure you will understand
given
the current situation, the University Health Service is extremely busy at
this time and immediate access may not always be possible.

For further information and health tips visit
http://www.adm.monash.edu.au/ohse/news/swine-flu.html

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Please do not reply to this email as it has been sent from an unattended
mailbox.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Oi. A bit scary can?

I don't know if it is the recent zombie movie I watched or zombie game I played but this really feels like one of those letters in those movies/games before everyone became a zombie and started devouring any surviving human beings left AHHHH.

=S

Third or fourth email I've received from the university on the flu outbreak.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It gets worst everytime.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

The first line of that email was particularly disturbing.

In fact this very blog post could be used in the very same zombie movie/game AHHHHHHHH. Like how it is saved here and read in an empty house where the hero/heroine is to save the day from the zombie invasion. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Cause whoever who was reading the blog post had already been eaten by a zombie and turned to a zombie him/herself AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

On a serious note (actually I was seriously quite serious throughout this post), my flu has recovered. PHEW.

And I wouldn't need to be scared of being in an examination hall with an "infected" because my next paper is in roughly.. 27 days time. WHICH COULD BE A CURSE IN DISGUISE BECAUSE BY THEN THE FLU MIGHT HAVE INCREASED AND EVOLVED LIKE ANYTHING!!

GL HF folks! While I shelter myself in my very flu-less house! For now! SHIT I WON'T JINX IT!



-alexeO-

Hehe

This week definitely isn't getting my life back on track week. Next week probably wouldn't be hardcore studying week.

If they have to be something-something week then they have to be crumpled shirts week.

This is what happens when you do not have an iron at home and you are too lazy/have no time to immediately fold and hang your clothes right after you take them out from the dryer. Learn it from me kids. If you don't want your friends to stare and point and scoff at you when you are not looking, or worst, when you are, either get a freaking iron or arrange your clothes immediately. (Or you could also put on a jacket and zip it up high for the next 2 weeks but that's not the point)

Now there's a huge pile of clothes half in the basket, half on my bed, some spilling/or have spilled to the ground, littered all over my room. Getting my life back on track alright. And this week has also been weird nap times week. GETTING MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK ALRIGHT ALEXYEO.

I have 3 tests next week which I was supposed to spend this whole week preparing for but I have not. This weekend seems occupied from a glance but I must somehow squeeze studying in. After this week I will be free for 3 weeks before one paper then I'll have another fun-filled, Gold Coast, clubbing, chilling with friends bound 3 weeks break before the next semester which also happens to be my final one. HAHAHAHA EXCITED!

Had my last class today minus the tests next week. 5 bucks I got zero for participation marks for 4 out of 4 of my subjects this semester.

Wuhoo!

Just felt like saying that.



-alexeO-

O.o

The strangest thing just happened.

So I have a class today at 10AM right, but it was only 9pm the night before and I was already feeling incredibly sleepy.

So I set my alarm at 12am thinking that I would take a 3-hour nap then wake up for a couple of more hours before finally going back to sleep for the class at 10.

At 10PM I woke up, feeling quite refreshed and quite confused on how it could only be one hour because it certainly felt like I dreamed so much and took a much longer sleep but I psycho-ed myself then that since it was only an hour I still had some time to spare so I closed my eyes and continued my nap. It must be also then that I resetted my alarm to 1AM.

Many many dreams later, the sleep was DEEP I promise you, I groggily opened my eyes to check the time.

12:45.

Oh SHIT MY 10AM CLASS!

I literally felt like shit because I made an oath this week to attend every class because they're the last before my tests and I was already thinking at that time of the amount I've missed and the possible 'tips' I did not get to hear. =(

While scolding myself, I kept calculating the hours I've slept and how I've managed to sleep for 15 hours.

The sleep felt long, but in a way also, not THAT long??

I looked at the tiny little alarm clock logo at the top right of my phone. It was still there.

Could I have resetted it to 1PM instead when I was half asleep?

But I rechecked and it stated 1AM. ;O. I went to check the AM/PM and what do you know. It was 12 hours before the time I thought it was. ;O

It was damn strange because it was in reality only 3-4 hours but the sleep felt damn seriously long.

It didn't feel 15 HOURS long but definitely closer to that than 3-4 hours..

I remember at that time of ranting to myself how I've missed the last lecture of the semester for that subject, I was thinking the things I would have done differently if I could turn back time and how it's all too late now..

So the actual realization that I wasn't 'late' for my class felt pretty damn good.

After all these, I better not oversleep my 'second' sleep for the night. =S

*

I've a presentation on wednesday shit. Abit nervous but still managing to keep it under control.

My first time to a class of ang mohs. Ahh abit intimidating but I'll take comfort in the fact that they wouldn't expect any more from me anyway heheh.

Bai.


-alexeO-

Second last week of the semester before my double holiday, coming right up

The past week was officially gluttony week.

The upcoming week will hopefully be getting my life back on track week.

The following week will have to be hardcore study mode week.

Having the two coming weeks back-to-back will be tough to the 'getting my life back on track' part but I will try. If not, then I'll just have that week this week as planned, and then postpone the life back on track thing to the week after that no problemo. Skip one week no biggie. Hehe.



random post divider

How do you stop disliking someone you just cannot dislike due to certain circumstances? It's eating me up insideeeeeee.

Maybe the person should stop acting like the bitch s/he is then all this would become unnecessary.

I am NOT a hater.

At least not anymore..

seriously.

but you can't help it if some people just never learn/change/mature/wisened-up. Unlike me. Hehe.

I sound as though I'm speaking from a better-than-thou position and it'll be really annoying if I read someone talking like that but trust me I'm not. In fact I almost always give people a benefit of a doubt and do not judge that early (at least not anymore i promise you) but there comes a time when you know when too much's too much and that you are right.

Ok time to sleep. Had damn good pork ribs today with damn good sauce. Hah beat that suckers.

And stop trying to guess who that person is.

Good night/morning.



-alexeO-

My First Time

.. at a rave.

1) Big burly white men. Many big burly white men.

2) .. with cool trademark dance. Fun to imitate.

3) Very dirty floor. At one point I couldn't dance properly because whenever I raised my right foot, it needed to get past the stickiness first. Kept swiping random 'debris' off the sole of my shoe.

4) RnB dance steps don't work.

5) Beer + Trance + Laser = Heaven

6) Situation which I kinda expected before going kinda happened. People getting excited over something which I have no idea on.

7) Luckily my little homework helped. The best parts were listening to the songs I became familiar with over the course of the past few weeks.

8) The bunch of us squeezed in the highest podium towards the end and I liked that. Great view, and just us. Actually it wasn't a 'podium' podium. It was more like a 'cage' thing for the go-go dancers. ;O

9) Started off slow, maybe I was too sober, maybe I didn't know what was going on, but adapted nicely somewhere in the middle. ;)

10) Completely exhausted with an hour or so to go, lack of sleep the night before, and standing for that many hours isn't exactly relaxing. But "Who Will Find Me" woke me up.

11) Ears ringing post-rave.

12) Hopefully the next time I will be more familiar with the tracks!

13) Cannot walk properly now because sole of feet hurts. =<


Sunrise now. Gdnight.



-alexeO-

Ova!

Sidenote: I think I'm a superhuman.

*

Mizan inspired me to do this so here's a belated birthday post to guy with his eyes closed.





Happy 21st, Kelvin Pui. Hopefully this wouldn't be the last time I'm celebrating your birthday with you. If it is, well, then at least it was a whole lot of fun. :/

After this post, how can I still be lanci anymore right?

*

I can't stop sneezing! I sneezed at least 5 times typing this post alone! Stop bitching about me!

*

Got some space to breathe now. Maybe I can finally start watching my series hahah prav. Or reset my body clock hahah.

*

I'm 161cm to anyone who's wondering.

*

Bai.




-alexeO-

3 Months, 3 Days

Most of the time, I do the odd thing that makes me feel that my capabilities are so much more far reaching than what my 'general' performance currently warrants.

Or rather, my laziness creates such an incredibly impenetrable force field that nothing else, potentially or not, matters anymore.

It is so extreme that its second-naturedness to my life doesn't even seem to bother me anymore. I genuinely don't feel any remorse or 'regret' that a particular thing could have been done that much better in an equally better way if not for my laziness.

Screw healthier eating habits, screw a better body clock, screw a more active lifestyle.

How does any of that even matter if the fundamentals of every single thing are already flawed to begin with?

If I'm going to have a resolution that I am going to make and stick with, it has to be getting my fking ass off my chair and just... do it, whatever 'it' might be. Distractions are an excuse but the essence of it all is ultimately, the four letter L word. To stay away from 'distractions' simply implies giving no space for laziness to shapeshift and present itself in a different form altogether.

What good are my capabilities - however out-of-this-world they might be - if laziness is the overarching theme of my life. I cannot even take the first step. Fullstop.

I suddenly feel extremely dirty and disgusting.

I think if there is something to be gained from this whole study abroad experience, successfully solving this aspect of my life has to be the greatest achievement I can ever ask for.

Moving on from the little essay on self-improvement I just wrote, I really feel I have learned so much academically or not in my 3 months in Melbourne so far. In university and to a lesser but significant extent outside, I learned how to apply the very theories I learn in uni properly this year by balancing it nicely with the usual aspects of my life without compromising any in anyways whatsoever. That statement does sound nerdy but what I learn aren't exactly physics or algebra so... hahahah.

I used to blame my course for making me think too much, but I realized that 'too much' didn't need to be taxing or discouraging on you at all and I could actually pick out the empowering aspects of it.

About 2 weeks ago, I sat in front of my computer in my little room and had a sudden moment of epiphany or realization that wow, I cannot believe I'm actually in Melbourne now studying abroad in a university. There were so many things 'wrong' about that I didn't even bother breaking them down one by one. Melbourne - abroad - university - etc. All I did was just to be wow-ed and enthralled by the entire situation of it all. I appreciated its significance even more because I believe it is a feeling difficult to imagine now but when the day I finally step out of this whole bubble comes, I will look back at this and get captivated by the entire experience and every little thing that comes along with it.

But.. have to be less lazy first -________-

*

Here's a funny comic strip I follow:




Hahahahah.. most of the time we like it because we know it's true..


Too long a post. Too late a time.

Goodnight.




-alexeO-

Woe is Me

Today I truly get the meaning/expression of feeling completely drained.

And I'm only halfway through my workload. And after this pile of work or 'wave', as I would like to call it, a presentation(not that stressful) and tests await.

To be frank I am quite sick of this semester already and I cannot wait for it to end. Maybe it's the combination of subjects I've selected, maybe it's the poor start to it due to bad adaptability.. but I'm sick. Both figuratively and literally.

I am very tempted to whine and complain about the amount I have to read and write each time for my assignments but I won't because I am going to take the initiative to actually be 'interested' in what I'm learning because it can really sound exciting if you look at it in a different way from how I have been looking at it.

My next assignment I don't quite get and it has the highest word limit. From next Tuesday onwards, I SHOULD be able to take some time off thinking and stressing about work at least for a little while before my tests and then my double holiday mid-year.

Sharing my burden makes me feel that tad bit better so thanks for hearing me out. I doubt anyone has read till this far anyway.


Can't wait for the day when I can wake up from my bed without thinking of what I'll do for the rest of the day. Before the party at night. Haha.



-alexeO-

This Post is Meant to Distract Me From The Harsh Realities of Life

A tiny sneak peek to my life in Melb.

Hahahah.


minus the uni workload, of course.. which should really be the utmost priority i know.. but... i'm coping, kinda.. anyway. :|



-alexeO-

Time Waits For No Man

Only in Melb


It's crunch time. The only thing which can help me during this period is something to look forward to. Then everything else I believe would fall into place comfortably.

Thoughts like partying, assignment-free days and nights, and chilling with people. I think if I let the workload become my sole and central focus, I will be doomed. Maybe that's the way I operate afterall. Hopefully I get it right this time around..

And I don't really need to put this down but as a gentle reminder to meself, I am going to learn and start to appreciate, just a little bit more. :)



-alexeO-

My Funny Valentine

Slept for 3 hours the night (or day) before.

Went to uni from 10am till 5pm.

Got home, made dinner, showered.

Went to friend's place at 11.30pm.

Stayed up till 4.45am to watch Arsenal went 1-0 down.

Walked home at sunrise.

Slept at 7am.

Woke up at a disgusting 6.45pm.

And oh yeah, did I mention that I had class at 2pm too? I groggily woke up at 2.25pm only to realize that I've fked my day up. Badly. Again. And then I went back to sleep.

Prepared dinner, ate, and here I am.

Must be the accumulated lack of sleep over the past few weeks.

Getting very cold in Melbourne now.

I want to cuddle under my sheets and just.. rot. :(



-alexeO-

Light skin, dark skin, my Asian persuasion

Hello! I'm feeling very much more contented than before. It has to be the power of completing assignments I tell you..

Melbourne so far.. Day 70 or so..

Just a little over 2 months, and yet, I feel like I've been here.. almost forever? Minus the familiarity with the places part.. I am really feeling comfortable in a lot of ways possible. But I will remember to not fully immerse myself in such comfort and remind myself that time would ultimately still somehow remain as an obstacle or barrier with adaptability!

I don't know why, maybe it's the new found freedom, maybe it's the place, maybe it's the people but I've become such a party animal I somehow always need a weekly fix. Easter was such a great period really. I always took my Easter breaks back when I was in Sunway for granted (used it to sleep-in mostly), but the Easter I had here was a total shift. I had something fun to do everyday and I didn't want it to end but it did. Obviously.

The first few days post-Easter I was actually emo-ing over how I can no longer party the way I did and have fun haha. How there are no more "Easters" in Melbourne sigh. :( But I shall decide if I would want to extend my stay here in Melbourne sometime during the end of the year. Work or postgrad. Both suck, but such is life, right?

I'm currently very sleepy, so I am just typing whatever that's on top of my head now.

Ok. I shall post some overdue photos for my friends who are concerned back home and everywhere else in the world.




This was my humble room on the first day I moved in. Looks smaller, (but not much trust me) from this angle.

This is my room today:



Pretty damn awesome? :D

You can't see it here but on the left side of the photo is my mirrored built-in robes which is my fav part of the room HAHA.




This was Richmond's room on the first day.



This is Richmond's room post-move in.

I don't think you guys care about the living room or other parts of the apartment in general so I'm not going to bother. But on the whole it is quite equipped today and tidy. And my apartment looks so mediocre verging on torturous to the other apartments I've seen or been to here in Melbourne.. but considering our situation at that particular point of time, I really can't find any reasons to complain at all.

So I've also started cooking coz it's both fun and economical compared to eating outside every day.

I made chinese soy sauce chicken on the first day this week which wasn't very successful at all HAHA so no photos were taken unfortunately. But it ended up tasting ALMOST the same so I guess credit given where credit's due HEHEHE. But super tak puas so I'm gonna attempt to make it again!

This was the first pasta I made, even before the soy sauce chicken, because people tell me pastas from jars are one of the easiest and filling things you can cook yourself.


Spaghetti Pork Bolognese

So it was pretty dry, and the spaghetti felt sticky. But it tasted pretty above average so all's good I guess.

For someone cooking meat or stirring the pan for the first time that pasta is a pretty darn good achievement ok.

Then after the first experience and receiving advices and help from family and friends around, Richmond and I made pasta again recently and this was what we came up with:


Riccioli Bolognese

And it actually tasted pretty good. So much so that we wondered if it was the different sauce or the expertise of the chefs. Hehehe.

The next day I thought of making the ultimate chinese CUISINE of several dishes + 1 soup so this was what we came up with:



The COMPLETE meal.




Curry Chicken with Potatoes. 5/5




ABC Soup. 3.5/5




Steamed Egg with Minced Pork. x/5

LOL HAHAHAH. I KNOW THE EGG LOOKS SUPER FAIL BUT FORGIVE ME LA DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT I HAD TO WORK WITH HAHAHA! I told Karina it looks like I made a yellow swimming pool for the pork instead sigh haha. But don't worry I will perfect the technique one day! And the thing is it actually tasted not bad! The meat was well marinated by yours truly and it wasn't as bad as it looks actually... just take it like a new dish la.

Ok I duno what I'm typing already. Damn sleepy stayed up doing assignments.

Weekend's here! I HOPE I GET TO DO SOMETHING FUN THIS WEEK! BAI!



-alexeO-

A Post I Could Do Without

Sometimes I wonder if it's easier to be less extreme emotionally just so that the potential falls will not be too overwhelming. Sometimes I wonder if becoming a stagnant zombie would make me less depressed or miserable than I potentially can be today. For the higher you go, the harder the fall?

Today is the last day of easily the best Easter break ever.

I had so much, maybe too much, fun throughout the week that I never want it to end. And so much happened that the last class I attended seriously felt like months ago. I am honestly despising the start of classes this coming week, but who isn't right?

Then towards the end of the break, after my overdone dwellings of how everything was about to come to an end, God decided to be helpful and put me up with incidents after incidents which completely decimate any remorse I had over the end of my 'best Easter break ever'. Incidents which not only rudely signal the end of the fun times, but also possibly of things to come.

If I could, I wish I could press the restart button and go through the whole of the break again. I don't care if it is immature and shallow, I never agreed with the whole concept (of life) anyway, so technically why should I care?

I have principles that I hold onto very dearly. Principles which I find very difficult to give up even under extreme circumstances. If the so-called 'failure' beckons at the end of the path, then so be it. For I rather fail in such constructed downfalls than to fail as a human being, as an individual, and as me.

You won't believe how much I'm self-censoring now, how much I've written then deleted, for I do not think it's right to share or to feel personally, but the fact of the matter is - I am still feeling it.

I'm upset. At alot of things.

On my 'best Easter break ever'.




-alexeO-

The Beast in Me

Ever wondered what it's like to feel free as hell, having zero restrictions and commanding the guts to do whatever you want, however you want to?

That's me under the influence.

People could tell you how shy or reserved I can be when I'm on a casual outing with them. If I'm like that by nature that's fine. But there are times when I feel like I'm holding back so much it makes me regret later that I actually did not say or do a certain thing after the outing has ended.

Sometimes I wonder if it's possibly the extreme fear of getting judged.

I know during my tipsy nights I'd repeatedly tell the people around me how they shouldn't "judge" me for I am not like that at all during "normal" days whatever normal mean.

That being said, I DO remember most of the things I do or say during those nights.

So does that make me less of a drunkard? I don't know. But it could imply that I just needed that little bit of 'help' to make me more 'normal'. But if the 'normal' Alex is like that then it's quite scary also but you get what I mean..

I could even consciously tell myself in my mind how much I am going to regret this the next day and every single time it's like a battlefield going in there I kid you not. One part of me telling me to just shut the fking hell up and stop. Another asking me to.. well, do the exact opposite. People might notice this ongoing conflict when they see me doing all sorts of random shit one minute and the next minute sitting down quietly trying to supress everything inside.

Believe it or not, I know it doesn't look like it, but I do tell myself to sober up during those times.

It would often be the case of a mental dialogue filled up with, "freaking sober up alex, please." Which would then be immediately followed by a performance of a dance or/AND song routine to the people around me. Great. Frikkin' hell srsly.

Most of the times, the latter side of me always wins.

And it's my fault too for I welcome it almost every single time. Because I want to feel the freedom it gives me, because I want to be able to 'breathe' every now and then.

Perhaps I should learn to control the extent in which I 'welcome' that side of me. Perhaps I too can feel the same liberty it provides me with, without letting it dominate or control me in the way it had almost every time.

That is why I like blogging. Because in the process of writing posts like this, I take another step forward in constructive self-discovery and improvement.

Or..

just stfu and have a beer, Alex.



-alexeO-

How do you stop..

.. the sun from setting on you?






-alexeO-

Rant

This is the ultimate mental torture.

I'm awake now at an undisclosed time, attempting to finish something which I have really not much idea how to, and the fact that it is a short assignment is pulling me in so many directions I feel like I am about to be ripped apart.

I don't even understand what I'm typing anymore. I don't even know if I should continue to bother. But I really really want to get this over with.

10% for arguably the toughest first assignment in relative to my other first assignments which carry more weightage. It's not about giving up. It's about being smart and balancing.

At this point of time, I really do not care if resorting to war is ever justified or not.


-alexeO-

Blind Sponge

It's late, I'm sleepy, my head's throbbing, and so I guess it's time to blog.

I was downsizing the amount of texts in my phone just now from 2k to a mere one single text and reading them one by one briefly before deleting them made me feel like I was reliving the moments all over again.

From arrangements of Christmas eve plans to chinese new year greetings, to the planning of the final clubbing session in KL to the various goodbye messages from my friends,........... nuff' said. :/



If you ask me if I miss home, I would say I do. But is it affecting me so much that it is slowly killing me and eating me up from inside, no. So I'm good.. so far.



I am slowly starting to despise university and its implications on/upon me to be frank. It isn't a good feeling to feel but I can't help it. What is this strange obligation requiring me to wake up at times I do not want to wake up and research on issues I am not even remotely interested in? What is this unknown overpowering pressure weighing down on me each week which gets heavier and heavier as assignment periods beckon.



I always tell my friends facing similar situations like these to think of the finishing line. But my mind is so fogged up it is impossible to even imagine what the finishing line would look like. And what if I do NOT want to reach the finishing line? What if the finishing line isn't as glamorous and glorifying as I put it out to be? What if there are other better 'finishing lines' out there and I am running on a wrong path?

Screw that.



One of my lecturers look like a rock star. With metal hoop earrings and all. Philosophy lecturer on the ethics of global conflict. Awesome stuff. I guess it is only apt.

The tutor coincidentally can pass off as a typical ang moh aunty selling fish in the market. Believe me I was dubious at first but wow the stuff coming out from her and the way in which she conducts a tutorial. Respect.



I am also the only Asian in one of my classes. In fact, in the other classes I would probably be part of the <5% foreign students population in a lecture/tute. Not that it's surprising.. I kinda expected it already. Arts. Not because it's a party course wtf piss off but because it has all the outspoken people and most ang mohs are outspoken and articulate! Ok end of justification I am sick of it.



I am also starting to realise that I probably am having a better first semester studying in a foreign country than most people would probably have thanks to the friends I have already settled here. For hanging out with me, for bringing their friends to hang out with me, for 'taking care' of me, for supporting me in any way at all. Tankiu.



Praveen wants me to thank him for his cooking so here it is. Oh, and Andy too. So here it is again. Bryan wants a mention in this blog so here it is. Ok if I miss anyone out tell me.


This is neither Bryan nor Andy.

I am far from fake but I do wish sometimes I could lessen the amount of masks I put on each day.



I'll save the emo stuff (and other pictures) for next time.

Goodnight everybody.



-alexeO-