I'm a busy man

I got nothing interesting to blog about really, with the exception of Arsenal making the finals of the Champions League which is totally amazing. I don't care if ppl say they don't 'deserve' it or Villareal totally pwned them in the 2nd leg but the fact remains that you can't be lucky for so many games in a row. Something had to play a part and there is no such thing as 'deserve' in football. I've learned it through past experiences. Arsenal scored in the first leg. 2nd leg no one scored. Hence, they are through. Live with it. They knocked out Real Madrid and Juventus to get to the semis. It takes more than just 'luck' to get through. Thank you very much.

I have alot of things to do!

But I still cannot find my bloody pendrive which went missing one Friday. Argh. I got so many important files inside. Searching house soon.

Things to do :-

ESL 2000 words final essay

ESL Planning Material + Annotated Bibliography

Physics Info-Search Detailed Outline

Physics Homework

IT Database System

Specialist Mathematics homework

Mathematical Studies homework


GG la 4 days holiday.
From that list, I think most time will be allocated for the ESL final essay which I have to rephrase some of my contents from the draft I handed in. The planning material also stinks and I don't even have 7 sources to start with. And summore I am supposed to write bibliography for my 7 MOST used sources. Hello? Physics Outline will also take some time of mine. And my physics lecturer has already warned me jokingly regarding his homework. -_-
Specialist Maths, a must do. Maths Studies.. if I don't have the time, I think it's not possible. =(

GG.


-alexeO-

Pooch Café by Paul Gilligan

Today, I was reading the comics section in the New Sunday Times when I came across a surprisingly funny strip. It was surprising because I don't come across funny comics often. More came as either just plain stupid or they have some american/british joke I just don't get. :/
However, the comics these days I realised are more suited to the local flavour. The Star comics however, are still boring and dull. Thus, I prefer the NST's comics to The Star's anyday.



lmao.

-alexeO-

The birds are my friends

Remember last time I said I was trying to make my specialist maths teacher to have a good impression on me?

I give up already.

Somehow, it's just not to be!
Fate doesn't allow it. Not at all.
-____-

So eversince she checked my 'incomplete' or simply 'undone' homework, I've been doing her homework like mad, completing it every single time, also trying my best to pay attention in class as much as possible. So I thought, yea..finally heading to the right direction.

But,
SOMEHOW or RATHER,
it just wouldn't work.

So in the class one time, I was laughing out loud over a joke I shared with my frens..
Suddenly, she was like "what's the laughing there all about???"
Being the cowardly chicken shit me, I was like "ahh..nothing"
Then I took a quick glance at her noticing her looking at me..
And wtf. SHAKING HER HEAD IN LIKE WAT? DISBELIEF OR SOMETHING.

You could just see from her face she was like thinking ,"sigh..this boy not working hard..so weak and still can laugh like that"

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Screw it la.
I give up liau.
Now I'll just do my work for my own benefit.
No more trying to impress anybody.
Tee-hee.

I went to the quiksilver revolution thing yesterday. I came right before the click five performance. Special thanks to Kelvin Tan who even was extremely reluctant, he ran up all the way to the top to pass the ticket to me and then walk back then. Wuhoo!
Performance was pretty good.
Nothing much to say.

I have more tests coming up this week.
This would never end.
Omgz.
So tired and sleepy.

-alexeO-

Of studying and not

I had so many things to blog about but I cannot remember most of them.
:/

Also suffering from a minor headache thx to bloody spec maths homework and my fren who is trying to teach me through the net. Sigh.

So anyway,
I've been doing my work and not dota-ing these last wat..few days or so.
It's a pretty amazing accomplishment considering I'm not a guy who studies or does he homework last year at all.

However,
with my newly-found motivation and drive,
I somehow ventured into a journey of self discovery and discovered the true reason behind one thing.

Why have I not been studying as much as I was supposed to before..
(this post is priceless to the people who often is so damn curious on how I can be so relaxed even with not studying at all)

Yes. Of course laziness is a factor.
But there's another significant factor which I think triggers the laziness to happen.

It's actually the impression I will give to the ppl around me.

All these while, I thought if I don't study or study less, ppl will not expect much from me. And that feels great.
That is because I'll basically be in a no lose situation where if I score badly, it is expected and if I surprisingly do well, it will be 2X the happiness and shock.
And that is great.

However, if I DO study hard,
I'll place this impression on ppl's mind that I will be scoring well and thus ppl naturally will expect more from me.
In that case, if I do score well, it is expected and the happiness will be so-so whereas if I somehow do badly, it is gonna be uber 23346X disappointing.

This self-discovery process is making me feel smart. ;)

Yea.
So that's the reason. I know it may sound stupid. But heck it's me. And you cannot deny the arguments behind it.
Ppl always have this impression of me of being super lazy and not doing my work.
It's true. But at least I don't make them think I will score well.
However, it has already been proven a few times that I DO surprise ppl with my results that they say I do not really deserve.
And that is great. So much better than having expected to achieve that results and just getting it. It sucks.

This thinking of mine may be some sort of a negative but I feel it is benefiting me.
I know hard work pays off but I have not actually lived to experience it yet.

As I had that so called negative thinking eversince I was very young, I never actually know where hardwork can actually put me.
So I rather play safe and don't make ppl put high hopes on me.

And hope in the end I'll be as lucky as before to achieve good results!
Which seems very unlikely this year.

That is why, for the first time in my life, I am actually TRYING to put some effort in my studies.
Yes. Me. Studies.
I'm taking a risk by studying and making ppl put up their hopes on me. I realised that the positive of this hardwork thinking is that even if I do badly, it IS gonna be super disappointing but at least ppl know that I've tried hard enough. Rox.

And it has been in so many life-achievement inspirational stories where it has shown where hardwork can actually put someone.
I feel I'm at a loss if I just want to 'play safe' this year and not study as hard to 'surprise' ppl at the end. It's a risk too big to take. I'm playing with my future here. I could do that in high school as it brought no significance but not now.

My parents obviously (I know) has seen some effort by me. At least more than last year combined. Heh. But it's just screwed up to think that I screwed up my Maths Direct Investigation thing I had yesterday and today, my IT Common Test last week and I'm quite sure the upcoming tests next week which I can just predict the results.
Those results I am getting are not doing good to my hypothesis that hard work can actually bring success. And it's actually making me feel lower than ever. But I guess all those are just the obstacles I am bound to face by choosing this path of mine.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I've transformed into a super duper hardworking Alex robot guy. No.
Not at all.
All I'm saying is I am putting slightly more effort than before in hope that it will bring me the benefit I seek.
I'm taking it step by step so the changes aren't visible but i will at least TRY now.
Don't bring Physics into the picture as I am indeed having some slight trouble with the topic. :( But once again, I shall TRY!

Why am I posting about all these which are bound to be false promises in the future you ask?
That is because, I need a reminder.
That everytime I visit this blog.. I remember about this post.
I need reminders of all sort. If you could do that favour for me that'll be great.
Just remind me about my promises and my future.
I have all sorts of reminders now. I have a Melbourne Uni manager namecard beside my computer, I have the Melbourne Uni website at my url history.. and now this post.

I've already not gamed for 2 days. And even the games I played few days back did not feel as fun as they did last time.

Slowly but surely, I hope.. like a man dying of thirst in the middle of the desert, surrounded by flocks of vultures awaiting his departure, with the rays of the sun almost literally nailing him to the hot sand...

I ..will..
reach..
my..

goal.


-alexeO-

It's Saturday

Remember Alexei?


I'm a happy big poodle.

It was just minutes ago when I saw Alexei again by the stack of cables and wires some metres away from my computer.


=(

Sigh.
:(
Everything comes to an end eventually doesn't it?

Huey Shyan surprised visit us last Saturday on the Scholastic Award Ceremony day thingy. I didn't go so I got the message kinda late. I heard the guys went to 1U after that and after their movie, Huey Shyan appeared from nowhere and startled everyone. Shocked and all. I heard they had a very emotional hug too. Hahaha. However sadly, I was still sleeping on my bed and putting down Kelvin's calls so I didn't get to witness the event.

However, I got my own fair share of shock when the guys decided to come over my house with Huey Shyan.
I was happily on my computer when my maid suddenly told me there were ppl looking for alex outside the house. I was like wtf? Zzz.

So I reluctantly went off from my computer to the maingate outside my house.
Wtf. Really there.
The guys were demanding me to let them in and all. What could I do. I opened the gate and asked what they were doing here.
They didn't reply or anything.. Just either changed topic or laughed it off.
Then out of nowhere, Chrisanne popped out.

"Eh? You here too?"
She just smiled at me.

Few seconds or so later, another girl walked in the gate.
It was dark so I took a little while to figured out who that was.
But that little while wasn't long.

OMG?
What's she doing here!

.
.
.

The guys were obviously silent with big grins on their faces when they noticed me trying to figure out who that was.
I saw her. Then I looked back at the guys?

???? Huh? What's this. Lol!

Walau.
Damn funny moment la. Surprising.
Eventhough Teck Eng expected me to be more surprised caused he was. :/

Then they spent some time at my place disturbing ppl on my MSN list and we had a little chat among ourselves.
Also managed to snap some pictures too.


First try too far.


The Group Picture.


Those are the 2 group pictures we took.
There are some other candid shots too but lazy to post them up.

:)


-alexeO-

My Nokia 3250 first review

Hello all. This is gonna be my very first review ever on my new Nokia 3250 which I just bought yesterday.
This is also called a first review as I only used it for one day so far and I'm just gonna review on whatever I've discovered for that one day and simply my first impression on it. It is also gonna be short. So it's actually MY personal review/opinion and should not be considered for public viewing.

So anyway,
generally..
I love it.


My Nokia 3250 lying proudly on a table.

Everytime I look at it lying just like that.. I think about how cool and gaya it looks.
But I bet you don't know one thing which makes the gayaness 3236236X

IT CAN TWIST!

nono. not any ordinary camera twist. Its keypad! Twistable!!

One twist and you get a camera mode.
Another twist and you get the music player mode.


Twist once for Camera Mode.


Twist twice for Music Player Mode!

Woooooooooooh!

And it's black too. Extreme gayaness. And sexy too.
Anyway I couldn't consider any other colors anyway as they only had black/pink available then.
So obviously I chose BLACK DUH.

My previous phone was a Nokia 6600.. bought it quite early after its release. And I didn't upgrade it at all.. So I still had the 32MB memory card which didn't enable me to do anything at all.
So basically, this phone differ so much that my opinions are probably a norm for some who are more used to advanced Symbian phones.

The speaker quality is quite good. I like it. No complains.

However, the camera seems to be lacking slightly. It isn't as good as other 2megapixel camera phones somehow. Well it's definitely better than my 6600's camera duh. But even reviews said it isn't that good if compared.
I think the reason behind this is because of the phone being mainly focused on its music player functions rather than the other functions.
Thus,
the video quality seemed to be lacking to quite an extent too.

Nevertheless,
I still feel its camera is manage-able and it's pretty good.. just not AS good. get what I mean?

And another negative to this phone would be .. it doesn't support chinese characters.
-___-
Well not yet anyway.
So the chinese songs the ppl there helped me install all have funny boxes and codes.
Yea it's not like I can read chinese anyway but I know abit abit and at least I can agak agak it better than funny codes and boxes. :(

So I'm still in the process of trying to rename the files on the computer then transferring it back in as somehow I cannot rename any of the songs in my hp.

Puting all those aside,
the phone is still very very good for me.
It's just so damn cool.

Can you even resist the twisting of this phone?!
:D


It's pretty thick too. That's why I love it even more.

And oh yea, another thing.
It has Symbian OS which supposedly enables you to install applications in it and all from websites.
HOWEVER, sadly enuff.. its symbian version is TOO NEW!
So I basically CANNOT dload anything as of now because it say bla bla bla unsupported. Zzz.
Not to fear as I got a feeling new more updated and advanced applications/games will be coming my way which only my symbian version can dload! Bwahahaha.

I only managed to dload one game btw. Very very cheap loooking java volleyball game and I deleted it straight away. Sigh. I shall wait!

I also transferred most of my fav mp3s to the phone. Pretty fun. Now I can listen to them wherever I am.
I also am in the process of sorting out the tracks and arranging in nicely into proper track lists.
I also still need to figure out and delete some chinese songs which I have no idea what songs are those. Some are quite nice though. So i shall keep.

First day impression, excellent I would say.
Really catch the attention of many when used.
I shall/may review the phone again another like wat? few weeks or months from now.

Bye bye Nokia 6600. I will miss you. :( || Hello Nokia 3250 :)

-alexeO-

Height matters

I just have to post this picture up.


Taken at KLIA - Sending off Praveen

Check out the height difference.
ZZzzz.

It sucks to have tall friends.
:(


-alexeO-

This feeling in my heart

I was rudely awaken this afternoon by the blasting simple plan ringing tone.
I looked at my phone's display screen and saw the ever so huge words blinking, desperately attempting to catch my attention.

Kelvin's Mum HP
calling

Haih.
I was super tired and did not feel like talking to anyone at the moment so I just looked for the red button on my hp and pressed it. I know it wasn't really Kelvin's mum anyway. The kiamsiap Kelvin always uses his mum's hp to avoid the credit usage on his own hp. So, end of ringing. Back to sleep.

It wasn't a while later when I got distracted by another sound, probably something my maid was cleaning downstairs. So I opened my eyes slowly just to figure out it is probably late in the day already. I searched for my HP in an attempt to look at the time but I saw this instead on my hp display screen.

1 Message Received

I clicked on the Read function only to see a message from Kelvin HP which read,

You guys wan2 go out after scholastic?

Then it shot me.
My school's scholastic award day is today.
Dammit.
My whole original plans of attending the scholastic day crumbled so quickly, disappearing from sight.
I always got a habit of looking at Message Details to find out when the message was sent and I found out it was actually 9am in the morning. Yeap. Hours before the phone call from Kelvin Tan. So obviously I missed the whole ceremony and then I went back to my sleep again.

I woke up few hours later only to found out I slept for more than 12 hours already.
I had to take my shower before I finally got fresh enough to think. I remembered about the phone call Kelvin made and the message.
The scholastic award. Damn. I missed it. I really wanted to go.

It was only slightly later when I had another thought about the award ceremony.
My heart twisted slightly as I began pondering.
My eyes had the slightest shade of green as my heart became uncomfortable.

Scholastic Award.
I should be there.

Having attended the Award ceremony in 2004 for my PMR achievement.. I suddenly felt horrible that I'm not attending it again.

I was jealous.
I felt it.
It was so near yet so far.
I wanted my name to be called by the emcee. I wanted ppl to clap for me as I proudly walked onto the stage to receive my cheque.

But it didn't happen, obviously.

I remembered in 2004 during the ceremony or few days before it, I was telling my family on how I would not attend the ceremony ever again as I was struggling with my subjects at that time.. the very first few months of Senior 4.

I was really at a joking manner at that time but I was inside quite serious too as I never imagined how I would score for my Physics, Chem, Biology and Add Maths. I was thinking on how one could actually score so many As in their SPM examinations and I thought I would actually only probably got 1-2 that time. So I told my family that I would not be attending the award again and just told them to cherish the moment cause it would be my last.

How dumbfuck I actually was.

Because of the words I said, it became a reality.
However, I did manage much more As then I had imagined at 2004.
I know I did not work for my SPM so I don't really have the right complain right now.. but neither have I worked for my PMR but I was there.

I missed attending the scholastic award by a mere 1 A.
It was at MSN a while ago when I suddenly got all these feelings jumbled up.

|a.y| says:
why u gg-ed
Richmond says:
gg..
|a.y| says:
today was scholastic award day..
Richmond says:
what's that gotto do with me?
|a.y| says:
i'm sad.
|a.y| says:
i not attending.
Richmond says:
u shud know the reason why u not there
|a.y| says:
i know.
|a.y| says:
cause the school dowan to allow 1119 as an additional subject.
Richmond says:
rofl?
|a.y| says:
wat
|a.y| says:
it's true
|a.y| says:
they dowan to spend money
Richmond says:
rofl?
|a.y| says:
kiamsiap shit
|a.y| says:
or they hate me
|a.y| says:
bla
Richmond says:
rofl?
|a.y| says:
stfu
|a.y| says:
btw i am copying this conversation to my blog
|a.y| says:
tx
Richmond says:
wtf?

I had enough As on my SPM slip.
Only the school didn't want to look at that part to count the sufficient As needed.
My classmates in Taylor's all told me their school all actually looked at the 1119(a seperate marking for the English paper) when they were giving away rewards and all.
Even to include the 1119 in the total As were very normal for those from certain schools.
I didn't get to fight my case actively as I was the ONLY person with this problem in my school. The rest who got the same amount of As with me didn't get As for the 1119.
I'm sure if there were more cases like mine, I would actually get ppl to fight with me. But it never happened. So it didn't happen.

No use crying over spilt milk now I know. Whoever I tell this to they will simply tell me that I over-achieved for the efforts I put in last year. No one saw me working hard whatsoever but I achieved more than anyone could predict.
It's true I don't deserve the money if I had gotten it but I feel it is normal to complain after having the reward robbed away from you just like that.
Ppl will tell me that I would probably actually score straight As if I had actually WORK for my SPM which I did not really.

Does all these actually mean..
I am actually capable of scoring results only posted in the newspapers?
O_O

I am actually smart. Hey.
Just lazy.
Everyone tells me that.
LOL. I am starting to love myself.

And yes, I may just be saying all these to satisfy myself so just stfu.

Also,
I'm not becoming full of myself but.. if it is indeed true..
Will hardwork actually put me in Melbourne U like I had always targetted?

More tests up this coming week in college.
Time to prove my hypothesis.
Or not?


-alexeO-

Insufficient sleep

Recently, I have been avoiding to doze off after coming back from college.
The progress is quite good, considering I have limited my napping hours to only 1 or less. And there are even days I don't nap. Wuhoo!

But it isn't very good on another side. I need my sleep. And going to bed everyday from 1-2am is not a very good help. My eyes are getting darker and smaller by the day. It sucks having to force my eyes open in the morning. Sigh. Even in classes, I am kinda reluctant to put on my glasses as it will have to ensure I put full attention and not play with my eyes whenever I want. Bah, hard to explain. You would never understand the eyes of a sleepy boy.

And why must my specialist maths lecturer whom I respect so much check my work everytime the time I didn't do?! I mean. I did all the work given before and so happens the homework she gave once I didn't do.. she checked on that particular day.
WTF?! Wat la. This is not good. Really not fated to give good impression at all.
Blah.

Next week Common Test 2 summore for Spec Maths. BAHhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Also on the same day, I will have my ESL Issue Analysis Oral Test.
One on one masuk talk to the teacher.
More than half of my class finished already. My surname starts with a "Y". Therefore,
I am gonna do it on the last day.

ADP library is cool. Somehow I feel more motivated and 'semangat' to do my work there.
Less cramped up.

Dun like the results for AI5 this week. Booo. So many more undeserving ppl shud go out. Blah.

Tomorrow FINALLY gonna go for my remaing 3 hour practical with my driving instructor. Wtf. Summore he's not fetching chrisanne and i there. Gay ass. Have to use our own transport. Talked to him just now summore. Sounded like so reluctant to teach us. Bla. Just get it over with asap la. Dammit. Too long of a delay. Argghhhh!
I will still make it in time before my Mid Year!! (my target) or maybe not. Since the Mid Year Examinations is gonna be around May. April already.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And nobody fooled me on April's Fool.
:(

I miss the "your-zip-is-down" trick.
Bwahaha.

Heard my fren is giving tuition classes too to a primary kid.
Omg. Was so excited after that. The prospect of me teaching a kid.. walau. Gayanya.
Let's say la.. if I were to teach.. I think I would teach English and Maths to the primary kids. But I shall always bring a dictionary along for my English tuitions as my limited vocabulary is a major problem. :( What if suddenly the kid asked me a word I don't know! Then I have to pretend to be smart and say.. "the dictionary is your best friend" Hmmmm.
And don't laugh at me teaching maths okay. My primary maths is definitely do-able.
;)

But screw it la. As if I will find the time to do. Maybe if get license first.
See first.

I realised I am not a night homework person I thought I was.
I am more of a ..at certain situations kind.
Wtf gay.

Teck Eng messaging me. He lost his pendrive. Ironically both of us had the same pendrive. And also ironically, I lost the cover but not the pendrive and he lost the pendrive but not the cover. Then he just gave me his cover.
Omg so sad wei. But when I inserted the cover into my pendrive.
It was like.
The unity of two souls.
Oooo.
Too much fictional stories/movies/fantasy/anime.
Damn.

Ciaoz for now.

-alexeO-

a room



Check out this lastest graphic i made.
Pretty stupid actually. I just found a link to some photoshop brushes site and I was at a dload spree.
Then decided to come out with something.
All I did was to choose different brushes and splat it all over the page.
And added that very corny text.
Oh wait. The speaker thingy looks out of place. Zzz.

Yawn I'm a boring and a very un-artistic person.
Bwahaha.


-alexeO-

Meet Alexei


arf!

Had Alexei made for RM1 yest from the Charity Drive Carnival thingy. So cheap. And damn fun buying a poodle made out of a balloon. Might as well la. Since it's for charity anyway. Wahahaha.
Found out that my class didn't make the highest profit. Thought about it a while and didn't really care after that. Charity is the ultimate priority. Not the hamper.
I just gained another 100 points. Haha.

Also attended the Taylors Next Top Model event. And a little bit of the Zest Party after that. Pretty cool la the Top Model competition. Nice seeing good looking Taylors students modeling around on the runway. And the male and female I voted for won in the end too. Damn I rock.

Party abit the sien. Simply because I think most ppl there know each other. So they had a good time dancing with each other. But I only know my limited Seri Cahaya frens.. so it was alrite. Not the party animal kind anyway.

Felt super tired and sleepy yesterday.
Glad I had a looong sleep.
Woke up not too long ago.
Tee-hee.


-alexeO-

It was all about the charity

After 2 extremely tiring and exhausting days, my class, T1's haunted house has finally come to an end.
I have to admit it didn't feel so good ending it but at the same time, we were all glad as we really worked hard for the past 2 days and were just very tired.

The reception we got was superb. Honestly, I never thought we could get that many. As I was in charge inside telling the ppl outside on when the next group can come in, I could take a peek of the crowd outside through the door. The line was incredibly long and it extended till the corridors. O.o I think when the people working inside heard about the crowd, they felt extra motivated too, knowing the effort they put in has finally paid off.

The feedback was fortunately very positive too. So far I hadn't came across someone who actually came to me and said it sucked. I mean, maybe they told other ppl.. but if it really sucked that bad, I would had heard it somehow. But I didnt! Wuhoo.
We earned alot! Damn glad we did. We were all extremely pleased on the profit. Ah.. thinking again about the crowd lining up outside. Damn exciting to see that I tell you.

The haunted house also allowed me to see the many different personalities of ppl man.
There are these few who actually respected what we've done shouting praises as they were walking somewhere towards in the beginning. Things like "wah..shit. quite scary man. T1 rox" "Shit this is scary. Nice sound effects guys!" or simply showing their fear as they walk towards the beginning really boosted our self-confidence. It showed our house actually achieved its objective and is really scary ppl off. It doesn't suck. =)
Unfortunately, there is this other group of ppl who seemed like they just have to show their 'bravery' or 'courage'. They come in in groups of 4-5. Normally guys, they just walk in, ignoring every wall they bump into, being very aggresive with the walls and even to the extent of hurting our 'ghosts' who were working inside.
Damn freaking angry when I see them tearing down papers or disturbing any props which was inside. Gahhh. But we ought to expect this kinda things anyway when we are doing the project.

100% of our profit goes to charity. I don't mind actually. The most important thing for me is recognition. I want ppl to recognise us as the actual makers of the Haunted House. Another interesting point in this project was how it actually brought the class community closer. That part was interesting. I feel without it, some groups will eventually drift further apart.

The last 'group' which went into the house had I should say one of the best rounds anyone had ever had. When they crossed each section, I signaled the 'ghosts' which was at a certain position they had crossed to stand up and follow them. When they were walking, we were crashing down boxes at them and screaming to scare them off. When they were walking towards the end, one huge group of 'ghosts' was tailing them.
Then when they finally went out, we had a huge sigh of relief and everyone applauded.
You could actually see the relief on the faces of everyone. It was great I tell you. We finished the house united. Whether it was during the distribution of the flyers or till the cleaning up of the house, we stood together and everyone did their parts.

I am now thinking on how stupid I actually was to even bother about telling my Specialist Maths teacher who did the flyer. The class did it. No one deserve any extra credit.

And oh yea, speaking about the last group which went in, it was twice the fun when I realised that group consist of a girl who was extremely reluctant to enter the day before. At the entrance to the 'house'(which was my position), she was screaming her lungs out, holding on tightly to the door when her guy friends tried pulling her in.
Her guy frens kept persuaing her in, saying they'll be with her and all but she kept screaming "NO!" and looked as if she was about to cry. In the end, they had to give up and the guys entered themselves. I think today they returned as they didn't want to waste the girl's tickets. Hahaha. And what an experience it was for the petrified girl. I'm sure they had a blast.

And to the visitors who came twice. Yesterday and today. They were simply phenomenal.
It is seriously extremely encouraging to see people come again bringing different sets of friends. It actually showed how they liked it in a way. There is no denying that. Some may argue they were just bringing their friends in as a tour guide but cmon man, would anyone pay another additional entrance fee just to bring their friends in? I seriously doubt so. They sure had liked the house in a way. A special thanks to them. ;)

It was also funny seeing girls taking baby steps as they walk. Some even stayed at the entrance, not willing to move at all. I had to ask them to proceed but to those extremely stubborned ones or simply 'too-scared', my class rep had to scare them off as a ghost from behind. Seeing the girls screaming at different parts of the house was very funny in a way too. Hahaha. It was clearly the I-am-too-brave-for-your-house guys who were taking away all the fun. But we didn't let those ppl hurt us I guess. Just hoped they exited quickly. :P

To those who didn't go, I felt it was their lost actually. Hahaha. Too bad la. ZZz.

The Taylors Management was also extremely supportive on our project. Some came to see and to ask us how it was going. The program director also got to take our pictures after we finished today. I believed one of the director also asked why only 2 days or something. The lecturer or someone who was asking us to clean up quickly or something was a pain but we expected it anyway. It was one of the fastest clean up works I ever did in my life. But with a combined effort of the class, we managed to finish it the fastest possible.

From a haunted house to an examination room. What a contrast. O.o

Speaking about taylors management, they had also sent our first progress report to our houses. My parents took a look at it already. Funnily enough, they didn't lecture me or something which may be a bad sign somehow but I shall leave it at that at the moment. I really hoped I improve for my 2nd progress report for my own benefit actually.

Bah. The haunted house was great fun and an experience we would not forget for the time being. But like all things, good things come to an end and I guess we just had our end some few hours ago.
Time to focus more on our academics.. which is quite the sien but I dont think as a student anyone can avoid.
:/


Out.

-alexeO-

Credit

It sucks having to feel like you put an effort into something and if the results turn out good, you get no recognition for it. No credit whatsoever. Instead, misunderstandings or not, other less worthy ppl get credit for what you have done.

It sucks big time.

It is not a matter of showing off or not, but I strongly feel the main effort guy should be receiving all the credits he can get as he deserves it.
Especially if he is not rewarded in any ways for his efforts. I'm whining again but I have my reasons.

A little more about that later.

Do you know the sudden shock of motivation you receive sometimes during your educational years? Like all of a sudden, you have this sudden drive which makes you feel extremely motivated to complete your assignment or to study. Shocks like that is coming quite often for me but most often at the wrong times. Zzz. When I am actually in the environment to study.. the motivation is gone. :/
It's like.. you are on the way home from the mall..then you feel the sudden shock of motivation..then u go to the library.. but the moment you arrive at the library, the motivation is gone. U get it?! I get that all the time. Sigh. But at least I'm improving. At least I'm feeling the shocks now. :)

My first SAM progress report is shitty. I am only proud of my ESL marks which actually don't overshadow the much weaker marks. I only can hope and pray I can actually work on the subjects I scored very low in. :(

Okay.
Back to the taking credit thing.

So *ahem* today rite..
During Specialist Maths period, one of my classmates passed my teacher the flyer I designed..

Okla before that, briefly.. the teacher has this impression of me being extremely weak and being not really hardworking enough for my standard.. I always try to make her have a good impression on me somehow.. I always try to show her I'm paying attention and I force myself to understand the lessons most of the time.

Ok back to the flyer which was passed to her.. after a few explanation she gave.. she looked at the flyer.. and started saying..

"Who did this? Well done. It's brilliant"

She looked up to the class and expect a quick and immediate reply.
No one said anything initially until someone spoke..

"Us."

I always inside thinking '???' LOL. Of course I didn't raise my hand and said "me me me" I dowan to sound gay like that. SO being the 'wanting-credit' me, I of course expect someone to say my name.
I think the reason my classmates said "us" was because they thought she was talking about the whole haunted house and wasn't just the flyer. But I understood the question 100%.

Then she said.. "Impossible! I doubt you all can come together and come up with this" or something like that.

Then the class just replied in a very soft tone stating they really are doing it or something.

1000005% misunderstood.

So me, being a victim and biggest loser of the situation, knew she didn't believe and would ask my class rep. Come on la! I really want to get a good impression okay? It was my chance and I just can't screw it like that!
And I was right, she DID ask my class rep after that. After she gave us some work to do.

But I think my class rep misunderstood it too. Or somehow he just didn't want to say my name. Argh.

My teacher asked the same question again to my class rep. I tried listening to the conversation.

"So who did this?" She was clearly interested and curious.

My class rep replied "Erm, we discussed about it and ....came up with it"

Me : -_________-" Huh. ?_?

?_?
-____-
WTf?

SUPER 50000006% misunderstood wei!
Or somehow he just doesn't want to give me the credit I deserve.
AHHHHH.

Cmon la. I have this thinking. As a designer who is not receiving any pays whatsoever, I deserve the credit at least. But I didn't even get that.
And not only that, I missed a FANTASTIC chance for my teacher to get a good impression on me!!!

What you expect me to do ler?! Go up in front and tell her I did it?! No rite.
So omg.

All wasted.
The whole class after that. I damn boh song. She was clearly super interested and amazed with the flyer. She ran out of compliments describing it.

Sigh. Not being lanc la.
But just.
You know la.
As stated above.

:(

A huge chance gone.

Haih.

Learnt my lesson at least. From now on, all my designs. Will have my signature at the bottom.

Too late to regret. Hope she finds out sooner or later of course.
:(
:(


-alexeO-

Yawn

Tomorrow I have to go back to college after a 1 week break.
Haih.

Dun feel like it. Prefer to stay at home, staying up till 4am, waking up in the afternoon and tuning in to the Commonwealth Games then spending some time online and repeat the whole process all over again.

Unlike some other ppl who have boring lives at home(hehe), I'm not as keen to go back to college. Zzz again.

I think I found the reason why.
The piles and piles of work AND Specialist Mathematics.

I dun like it when I receive much homework which I have to do because if I don't, I won't understand as much on what is happening in class during lectures.
And also,
specialist maths. Once in a while, my teacher would just like to randomly walk around the class to check whether we had done the work. I mean seriously la.. so zzz.
And I'm one of the worried bunch because .. of certain obvious reasons.

Hopefully it will change tomorrow!
I want to get the liking-college mood all over again.

cmon alex!
be more hardworking!


-alexeO-

Sing me a song

I just can't get enough of this song!
I was watching the commonwealth games opening ceremony few days back when almost at the end Delta Goodrem appeared from the centre of the stage and started singing this song.. I think the title should be Together We Are One but ANYWAY, it was freaking good!! I wished I got the video man. When she sang, got ppl with fireworks around her and woahhhh!! CANNOT TAHAN. SO DAMN GAYA.
And Delta looked so chun that night. O.o

Delta Goodrem - Together We Are One

Damn gaya song okay.
Dem meaningful summore.
Just try to imagine ppl moving around her carrying fireworks at their backs.
Esp during the climax of the song.

Ahh.

I shud go hear it again now.
O.o

-alexeO-

A self-satisfying post

Ehh!
I realised something.
I didn't read the papers yesterday so just now when I went through to see how the SPM results were like..
As usual la, got this group of happy faces screaming for joy scoring double digits 1As..
So as I looked at the photos of the top scorers of the country.. this guy ..who scored 15A1s.. was showing his slip to the camera..

Then I realised something! Guess what?!

He didn't get 1A for 1119!

Hahaha! SO which means, I got higher than him for that one grade!! Hahaha. Damn proud lor.. beat top scorer in something. Bwahahaha.

I know I sound stupid and u are probably giving me that "-____-" face.. but bear with me pls! HAhahahaha! I need to find news which would make me feel better! Just give that consolation to me pls. thx. =)

It feels good cause... it's like..saying... u got a better low-register voice than Mariah Carey.. cause it's like..ppl saying she's one of the best in singing and u actually beat her in one part of her singing.. u get it?! :D

And yea yea! Another thing.. this girl who wasn't enlisted in the top scorers list.. cause she got 15A1s but 1A2 or something.. guess what she got A2 for.. EST! I got 1A for that okay?! Bwahahahaha!
I feel dem smart. I beat another high scorer for a subject.

Okla enuff.
Thx for your time.

This is satisfying.
:)


-alexeO-

I am a confused, lost child

I have collected my SPM results today.
I don't know whether to be happy or to be sad.

Before the SPM, during the revision weeks, I actually had a small target placed and not many actually know about it.
I was targetting for my 5 core subjects to score A + my EST subject. Then my 7th A will come from one of the 4 science subjects. I did that cause I know I sucked in my science subjects and to pick 1 out of 4 sounds more reasonable then to score A in all 4. So I came with a target of 7As. The minimum to get price money from the school during Scholastic Award Day.

However, during/after the SPM, I found my target a little too hard to keep. So my prediction was a far cry from my original target. From 7As I originally planned, my prediction went down to a mere 2-4 As. The reason being, I know I sucked for History.. BM was a tricky paper and my science subjects seemed to impossible for me to get an A in any of them. And thus, my target.

So I kept this 2-4As target with me from the day SPM finished on December 2nd till yesterday night. I always had a little space for this tiny glimpse of hope inside me which I often refuse to think about. But it's still there.. I know the possibilities of me achieving outside my 2-4As prediction is there. Afterall, the forecast I achieved was a mere 4As. With a mixtures of Bs and Cs. Seemed tremendously horrible for a student in a Science class. Many friends of mine would dread to have results as bad as I had gotten for my forecast. In fact, I know some ppl who got like many As and 1-2 Bs for their forecast but they are like damn disappointed for some reason.
Honestly, ppl like that makes me laugh. To think of the standard difference and the expectations level is ridiculous. Why such huge contradiction in satisfaction. It is just funny and quite annoying to some extent.

So like I've said, my 2-3As prediction was with me till yesterday night. This morning I woke up and already was thinking of how to face my parents after showing them my 2-4As which I will not be surprised with. I may be disappointed because I always expect a surprise, but that's just another annoying part of me. So in the car on my way, I already told my mum what I expected and we had a slight 'talk' about it. It wasn't exactly an argument but I guess I was just trying to prepare her for the worst.

When I've finally gotten my results. My initial reaction was 'hell yea'. The teacher in charged was looking at my slip and counting the As I have. He didn't stop after 2-4. He went on further, slightly. I was quite surprised. I feel mixed and confused. It was just so weird.

I suddenly didn't feel as happy as I thought I would be when I beat my expectations.
I thought I would be happy, but I wasn't feeling particularly overjoyed or something.
I was just.. confused. It hurts even more when I realised I am just about right in the middle of my class. 40% of my class are top scorers. I'm about the 50% and above.
I went out after that with the guys.. eventhough my results were congratulated and acknowledged positively by some of my family members, it wasn't great if compared to my frens.

It is also confusing because I have this group which is congratulating me and on the other hand this group which would definitely think if they had gotten my results, they would be darn disappointed. I duno what to feel right now. I am sandwiched right in the middle.

And yea, the top scorer of my school achieved 12As. 9A1s and 3A2s. Congrats to him. Since my school is a small shitty school with only 50+ students taking SPM last year, the results are pretty good. My class did the best expectedly being the only science class of the school..(the other class doesn't count cause it only has 6 students).

I am not happy nor sad.


I am just,
confused.

:/


-alexeO-

SPM Results 2005

I know I said I don't fking care too some.
I know I said screw it to some.
I know I said it wouldn't matter to some.

But now I feel,
it is only human if i start feeling the tension for the spm results.
I dont think it is caused by my own personal curiosity or interest.
I think I am feeling it because of all the hype surrounding me regarding the SPM results.
Everywhere I go, ppl are talking about SPM results. Bla bla bla. How much they need to score and all. I don't feel the same way.
I feel it because ppl are feeling it. U geddit?
At first I thought I stood a teeny weeny slim chance to score a miracle.. but the more I think, the more I look at it, the more I think about my past and my results I scored last year, the less hopeful I am.
I read back my blog archives reading the 9 days of SPM i had.
I could see I felt no confidence in scoring A for the science subjects and several core subjects.
So why should I feel the confidence now? I know myself best right after I did those papers.

I think another reason on why life as a student sucks is because you have all these examinations. It is not because of how much you need to study for them but it is because of the "results" you anticipate for.
Sometimes you don't anticipate it, but the ppl around you do. And that's exactly my case. Curious family members and close friends just would want to know ur results. You know you already sucked in the examination, you know you wouldn't score well. Everyone can roughly figure out what they'll get after sitting for the papers.. and yet, you tell everyone around you that you gonna get sucky results but they just wanna know anyway.

It hurts to tell ppl a bad result.

3 years ago, 2003. PMR Results.
I felt the tension like a mad cow. It was even more tension-ed than how I am feeling now. But I didn't feel the "what-if-I-get-bad-results" feeling. I honestly didn't.
Even if I did, it would be easily cured. That was because I knew if I hadn't scored well, I would still enter form 4 and then form 5 and then I will have to sit for my SPM which hopefully I will be motivated to study.
But I DID score well for PMR. Fantastic in fact. So my happiness doubled and my confidence grew. And I never knew what does a disappointed feeling over an examination result felt like.

That is why I am feeling all these jumbled up feelings right now. I already know I won't score well. I am just thinking on how the disappointment will feel like.
I am thinking on how am I gonna face my parents and my friends. I told ppl I wouldn't ask for their results if they don't ask for mine. That was the deal I made. But honestly, I really wanna know everyone's results but I just don't want anyone to know mine. I know it's selfish. But I have reasons to it.

The reason I am afraid of scoring badly is because for one, the impression I will give to my family and friends. I hate ppl thinking I am a dumb kid with no brains and only knows how to face the computer and online 24/7. I honestly hate it.
I want ppl to see my as an average study-able kid with a healthy mind. But it doesn't come if you do badly for ur examinations.
My PMR results also place many false impression about me. I am not smart. I am not intelligent. My PMR results were a fluke or the exams were simply too easy.
Anyone could had scored. I was just a little more lucky. But NO. After the results, ppl will expect more or similiar from me for SPM. I hate it. It's disgusting.
That is why I felt rejuvenated and happy when Kim told me she wouldn't look down on me whatsoever if I really did badly for my SPM. She would just think of me as lazy.
I love that thought.

I really hope my parents would take it lightly regarding my SPM results. I hope they wouldn't be sarcastic or angry but just laugh it off. I seriously hope they do.
And I also hope I wouldn't get flooded with phone calls after the results which happens to be in a few hours time. I just want it to be a normal day.

I can just feel the disappointment now.
I duno how long it will last.
I hope it disappears soon.

Once in a while, I like to imagine what if I really did score well. But after a few secs of imagining, I quickly shook the thoughts off as I know it will just increase my disappointment to a larger extent.

I keep telling ppl I dont care about the results. But if I don't, why have I typed so long regarding the SPM Results. It's 3:43am now as I type this sentence. I will be going to school at around 10-11am later.

I have frens who are expecting straight As or many many As.
I don't know what to say.


How nice if I could invent a machine which would tell me everbody's results and then after that make everyone not interested in discussing about the SPM results anymore, better if erased from memory.

However much I try to forget the results tomorrow, ppl would still be talking about it. I also have to pass my results to the college(hopefully they don't consider kicking me out). Frens will discuss. Online forums will ask each other on how they fared. It will/may still be a topic of conversation in my family.

I want to collect my results as I am dead curious and just forget it all.
But I am just wishing for an impossible thing to happen.

I can just smell the bad cloud which overshadowed me for the whole of last year approaching me now.

Go away. Pls.


-alexeO-

Woot

I can't help but blog again. 2nd time today!
:D :D :D


My sister's fren wanted to use the computer just now.. So I went to the kitchen instead to munch on some food.. Then I saw this typical Hindustan movie featuring Shah Rukh Khan. At first I treated it as a normal sing-dance love romance movie..
But I continued watching while munching on my food.. Then I realised..OMG. This movie is good man!! Something about the Pakistan and India alliance thingy.
Got fighting and all. I thought the camera and the plot was excellent. The acting was very good too. Except for some corny pigeon-flying-past-when-the-hero-gets-hit-part, I figured it's actually a very well produced movie. Quite entertaining towards the end too. This is the first time in many years I wanted to finish the show.
And the girls were damn gorgeous as usual. Bollywood girls. XD

I came back from a haircut.
Haha. After so long. I feel much fresher and lighter. My thick bushy long hair has been thinned finally. I am liking the new style currently. I didn't re-dye it though.. color still visible. Maybe my next haircut round I will.
Hahaha. I took photos of my new hair again.. I didn't take the before though, because I couldn't get a nice shot.. I tried but it didn't work. =D


My 'shortened' hair!


Haha!



-alexeO-

No title

I just came back from my 3-hr Practical Seminar.
Haahahahahaha. Everyone in that class passed undang. I bet my story of passing is one of the more 'different' one. :)

So they told us a little more about the tests and all. Thinking about it also damn nervous. Nooooo~

I got this feeling like I will fail. Pretty scary. I think the failing for Undang affected me. :/

I gonna go for 3-hr basic driving next week. I tried a manual car before with Allen's car and wasn't really 'feeling' it. Hopefully with a proper instructor I can fare much better. At least I got a very slight headstart compared to the other newbies. Just waiting from a call from my instructor.. holiday next week btw for me.
SPM results on monday. Lala.

I going off to cut my long messy dyed hair after I finish my Korean Instant Noodles.
Oh wellz.

Cya all.

Bye.


-alexeO-