Credit

It sucks having to feel like you put an effort into something and if the results turn out good, you get no recognition for it. No credit whatsoever. Instead, misunderstandings or not, other less worthy ppl get credit for what you have done.

It sucks big time.

It is not a matter of showing off or not, but I strongly feel the main effort guy should be receiving all the credits he can get as he deserves it.
Especially if he is not rewarded in any ways for his efforts. I'm whining again but I have my reasons.

A little more about that later.

Do you know the sudden shock of motivation you receive sometimes during your educational years? Like all of a sudden, you have this sudden drive which makes you feel extremely motivated to complete your assignment or to study. Shocks like that is coming quite often for me but most often at the wrong times. Zzz. When I am actually in the environment to study.. the motivation is gone. :/
It's like.. you are on the way home from the mall..then you feel the sudden shock of motivation..then u go to the library.. but the moment you arrive at the library, the motivation is gone. U get it?! I get that all the time. Sigh. But at least I'm improving. At least I'm feeling the shocks now. :)

My first SAM progress report is shitty. I am only proud of my ESL marks which actually don't overshadow the much weaker marks. I only can hope and pray I can actually work on the subjects I scored very low in. :(

Okay.
Back to the taking credit thing.

So *ahem* today rite..
During Specialist Maths period, one of my classmates passed my teacher the flyer I designed..

Okla before that, briefly.. the teacher has this impression of me being extremely weak and being not really hardworking enough for my standard.. I always try to make her have a good impression on me somehow.. I always try to show her I'm paying attention and I force myself to understand the lessons most of the time.

Ok back to the flyer which was passed to her.. after a few explanation she gave.. she looked at the flyer.. and started saying..

"Who did this? Well done. It's brilliant"

She looked up to the class and expect a quick and immediate reply.
No one said anything initially until someone spoke..

"Us."

I always inside thinking '???' LOL. Of course I didn't raise my hand and said "me me me" I dowan to sound gay like that. SO being the 'wanting-credit' me, I of course expect someone to say my name.
I think the reason my classmates said "us" was because they thought she was talking about the whole haunted house and wasn't just the flyer. But I understood the question 100%.

Then she said.. "Impossible! I doubt you all can come together and come up with this" or something like that.

Then the class just replied in a very soft tone stating they really are doing it or something.

1000005% misunderstood.

So me, being a victim and biggest loser of the situation, knew she didn't believe and would ask my class rep. Come on la! I really want to get a good impression okay? It was my chance and I just can't screw it like that!
And I was right, she DID ask my class rep after that. After she gave us some work to do.

But I think my class rep misunderstood it too. Or somehow he just didn't want to say my name. Argh.

My teacher asked the same question again to my class rep. I tried listening to the conversation.

"So who did this?" She was clearly interested and curious.

My class rep replied "Erm, we discussed about it and ....came up with it"

Me : -_________-" Huh. ?_?

?_?
-____-
WTf?

SUPER 50000006% misunderstood wei!
Or somehow he just doesn't want to give me the credit I deserve.
AHHHHH.

Cmon la. I have this thinking. As a designer who is not receiving any pays whatsoever, I deserve the credit at least. But I didn't even get that.
And not only that, I missed a FANTASTIC chance for my teacher to get a good impression on me!!!

What you expect me to do ler?! Go up in front and tell her I did it?! No rite.
So omg.

All wasted.
The whole class after that. I damn boh song. She was clearly super interested and amazed with the flyer. She ran out of compliments describing it.

Sigh. Not being lanc la.
But just.
You know la.
As stated above.

:(

A huge chance gone.

Haih.

Learnt my lesson at least. From now on, all my designs. Will have my signature at the bottom.

Too late to regret. Hope she finds out sooner or later of course.
:(
:(


-alexeO-