I feared for my modem to be fried along with any hardwares it might have affected alongside during a huge thunderstorm which struck in the afternoon - a time in which I was too tired to move from my bed to do anything at all, what more head to my computer and plug out everything and all.
But thankfully none of that happened.
All which happened was my main computer being able to access the internet again, after what feels like an eternity, immediately after the thunderstorm.
?_?
Sometimes, things in life confuse you in the funniest ways. I guess that's why it's great to be alive.
Kinda over exaggerated, I know.
*
Final paper on Monday. Hell yeah. Hell freaking yeah.
The only downside is how difficult-to-comprehend this final unit is. Everything feels so on the surface. In fact, just barely 'floating' too.
And the worst part of it all? No one understands what we, we being the Arts students, are going through. No one knows how tough it can be and that's sickening. Because we struggle like many of the difficult courses out there, but no one acknowledges our struggle as they do for the other courses.
Oh medicine tough, yes I get it. Oh engineering tough, yes I get it. Oh law tough, yes I get it. Oh Arts tough, you must be kidding me.
This is redundant and feels repetitive but the scale of it is so huge I feel there will never be the day when I stop telling people how the course is of so much more importance, and so much more difficulty, than they can ever, in their respective lifetimes, ever, think of.
Because it's not about learning how to organize events or advertise a product.
Because it's not about learning how to read news, or speak to another person over the phone.
It's about the humanities, sociology, semiotics, anthropology, philosophy, social sciences, media and cultural studies.
It's about Structuralism, Post-structuralism, Psychoanalysis, Auteur Theory, New Criticism, Postmodernism, Orientalism.
It's about Barthes, Freud, Foucault, Romantics, Derrida, Saussure, and so so so much more.
We do not want people to think of our course as the hardest of them all, because it is probably not true. All we want is for people to acknowledge our struggles, for it is as agonizing, if not more than any other courses out there. And maybe after that, we might just feel a tee wit better about what we are doing.
We don't need to go through the painstaking processes, only to have people devalue or belittle them later. Because that sucks and nobody understands. Nobody at all but us.
And on Monday I go to the battlefield alone. Fight the fight of my life against a raging frenzied beast and come back to my town wounded from head to toe and barely alive, only to have nobody welcoming my return in week-long parades, applauses, cheers, or even a simple welcoming drink.
Because in their minds, there was no raging frenzied beast, there was no need for a battle even, for my fight is of little significance, of trivial substance. For my fight is inferior to any other fights out there, for mine pales in comparison to any legendary acknowledged fights out there, and for I can never ever fight a tougher fight than the rest.
And ultimately no one is interested, no one cares, because their mindsets are fixed and stubborn. Because they don't feel they need to know the details of my fight, or the scale of it, because there was no raging frenzied beast, and the most violent foe or nemesis they could muster out of their limited knowledge, out of their minds which refuse to understand, stands inferior to even a housefly.
And so I walk to my home, alone, battle-wounded and sore, no one but me knowing the sacrifice I made, the danger I faced, the risks I took. No one knowing the details of how my hands almost got severed, how my body almost got permanently burnt, how I limped my way throughout the battle, or how I almost lost my right eye to the beast.
No one.. but me.
-alexeO-
No comments:
Post a Comment