It was all about the charity
After 2 extremely tiring and exhausting days, my class, T1's haunted house has finally come to an end.
I have to admit it didn't feel so good ending it but at the same time, we were all glad as we really worked hard for the past 2 days and were just very tired.
The reception we got was superb. Honestly, I never thought we could get that many. As I was in charge inside telling the ppl outside on when the next group can come in, I could take a peek of the crowd outside through the door. The line was incredibly long and it extended till the corridors. O.o I think when the people working inside heard about the crowd, they felt extra motivated too, knowing the effort they put in has finally paid off.
The feedback was fortunately very positive too. So far I hadn't came across someone who actually came to me and said it sucked. I mean, maybe they told other ppl.. but if it really sucked that bad, I would had heard it somehow. But I didnt! Wuhoo.
We earned alot! Damn glad we did. We were all extremely pleased on the profit. Ah.. thinking again about the crowd lining up outside. Damn exciting to see that I tell you.
The haunted house also allowed me to see the many different personalities of ppl man.
There are these few who actually respected what we've done shouting praises as they were walking somewhere towards in the beginning. Things like "wah..shit. quite scary man. T1 rox" "Shit this is scary. Nice sound effects guys!" or simply showing their fear as they walk towards the beginning really boosted our self-confidence. It showed our house actually achieved its objective and is really scary ppl off. It doesn't suck. =)
Unfortunately, there is this other group of ppl who seemed like they just have to show their 'bravery' or 'courage'. They come in in groups of 4-5. Normally guys, they just walk in, ignoring every wall they bump into, being very aggresive with the walls and even to the extent of hurting our 'ghosts' who were working inside.
Damn freaking angry when I see them tearing down papers or disturbing any props which was inside. Gahhh. But we ought to expect this kinda things anyway when we are doing the project.
100% of our profit goes to charity. I don't mind actually. The most important thing for me is recognition. I want ppl to recognise us as the actual makers of the Haunted House. Another interesting point in this project was how it actually brought the class community closer. That part was interesting. I feel without it, some groups will eventually drift further apart.
The last 'group' which went into the house had I should say one of the best rounds anyone had ever had. When they crossed each section, I signaled the 'ghosts' which was at a certain position they had crossed to stand up and follow them. When they were walking, we were crashing down boxes at them and screaming to scare them off. When they were walking towards the end, one huge group of 'ghosts' was tailing them.
Then when they finally went out, we had a huge sigh of relief and everyone applauded.
You could actually see the relief on the faces of everyone. It was great I tell you. We finished the house united. Whether it was during the distribution of the flyers or till the cleaning up of the house, we stood together and everyone did their parts.
I am now thinking on how stupid I actually was to even bother about telling my Specialist Maths teacher who did the flyer. The class did it. No one deserve any extra credit.
And oh yea, speaking about the last group which went in, it was twice the fun when I realised that group consist of a girl who was extremely reluctant to enter the day before. At the entrance to the 'house'(which was my position), she was screaming her lungs out, holding on tightly to the door when her guy friends tried pulling her in.
Her guy frens kept persuaing her in, saying they'll be with her and all but she kept screaming "NO!" and looked as if she was about to cry. In the end, they had to give up and the guys entered themselves. I think today they returned as they didn't want to waste the girl's tickets. Hahaha. And what an experience it was for the petrified girl. I'm sure they had a blast.
And to the visitors who came twice. Yesterday and today. They were simply phenomenal.
It is seriously extremely encouraging to see people come again bringing different sets of friends. It actually showed how they liked it in a way. There is no denying that. Some may argue they were just bringing their friends in as a tour guide but cmon man, would anyone pay another additional entrance fee just to bring their friends in? I seriously doubt so. They sure had liked the house in a way. A special thanks to them. ;)
It was also funny seeing girls taking baby steps as they walk. Some even stayed at the entrance, not willing to move at all. I had to ask them to proceed but to those extremely stubborned ones or simply 'too-scared', my class rep had to scare them off as a ghost from behind. Seeing the girls screaming at different parts of the house was very funny in a way too. Hahaha. It was clearly the I-am-too-brave-for-your-house guys who were taking away all the fun. But we didn't let those ppl hurt us I guess. Just hoped they exited quickly. :P
To those who didn't go, I felt it was their lost actually. Hahaha. Too bad la. ZZz.
The Taylors Management was also extremely supportive on our project. Some came to see and to ask us how it was going. The program director also got to take our pictures after we finished today. I believed one of the director also asked why only 2 days or something. The lecturer or someone who was asking us to clean up quickly or something was a pain but we expected it anyway. It was one of the fastest clean up works I ever did in my life. But with a combined effort of the class, we managed to finish it the fastest possible.
From a haunted house to an examination room. What a contrast. O.o
Speaking about taylors management, they had also sent our first progress report to our houses. My parents took a look at it already. Funnily enough, they didn't lecture me or something which may be a bad sign somehow but I shall leave it at that at the moment. I really hoped I improve for my 2nd progress report for my own benefit actually.
Bah. The haunted house was great fun and an experience we would not forget for the time being. But like all things, good things come to an end and I guess we just had our end some few hours ago.
Time to focus more on our academics.. which is quite the sien but I dont think as a student anyone can avoid.
:/
Out.
-alexeO-
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
Credit
It sucks having to feel like you put an effort into something and if the results turn out good, you get no recognition for it. No credit whatsoever. Instead, misunderstandings or not, other less worthy ppl get credit for what you have done.
It sucks big time.
It is not a matter of showing off or not, but I strongly feel the main effort guy should be receiving all the credits he can get as he deserves it.
Especially if he is not rewarded in any ways for his efforts. I'm whining again but I have my reasons.
A little more about that later.
Do you know the sudden shock of motivation you receive sometimes during your educational years? Like all of a sudden, you have this sudden drive which makes you feel extremely motivated to complete your assignment or to study. Shocks like that is coming quite often for me but most often at the wrong times. Zzz. When I am actually in the environment to study.. the motivation is gone. :/
It's like.. you are on the way home from the mall..then you feel the sudden shock of motivation..then u go to the library.. but the moment you arrive at the library, the motivation is gone. U get it?! I get that all the time. Sigh. But at least I'm improving. At least I'm feeling the shocks now. :)
My first SAM progress report is shitty. I am only proud of my ESL marks which actually don't overshadow the much weaker marks. I only can hope and pray I can actually work on the subjects I scored very low in. :(
Okay.
Back to the taking credit thing.
So *ahem* today rite..
During Specialist Maths period, one of my classmates passed my teacher the flyer I designed..
Okla before that, briefly.. the teacher has this impression of me being extremely weak and being not really hardworking enough for my standard.. I always try to make her have a good impression on me somehow.. I always try to show her I'm paying attention and I force myself to understand the lessons most of the time.
Ok back to the flyer which was passed to her.. after a few explanation she gave.. she looked at the flyer.. and started saying..
"Who did this? Well done. It's brilliant"
She looked up to the class and expect a quick and immediate reply.
No one said anything initially until someone spoke..
"Us."
I always inside thinking '???' LOL. Of course I didn't raise my hand and said "me me me" I dowan to sound gay like that. SO being the 'wanting-credit' me, I of course expect someone to say my name.
I think the reason my classmates said "us" was because they thought she was talking about the whole haunted house and wasn't just the flyer. But I understood the question 100%.
Then she said.. "Impossible! I doubt you all can come together and come up with this" or something like that.
Then the class just replied in a very soft tone stating they really are doing it or something.
1000005% misunderstood.
So me, being a victim and biggest loser of the situation, knew she didn't believe and would ask my class rep. Come on la! I really want to get a good impression okay? It was my chance and I just can't screw it like that!
And I was right, she DID ask my class rep after that. After she gave us some work to do.
But I think my class rep misunderstood it too. Or somehow he just didn't want to say my name. Argh.
My teacher asked the same question again to my class rep. I tried listening to the conversation.
"So who did this?" She was clearly interested and curious.
My class rep replied "Erm, we discussed about it and ....came up with it"
Me : -_________-" Huh. ?_?
?_?
-____-
WTf?
SUPER 50000006% misunderstood wei!
Or somehow he just doesn't want to give me the credit I deserve.
AHHHHH.
Cmon la. I have this thinking. As a designer who is not receiving any pays whatsoever, I deserve the credit at least. But I didn't even get that.
And not only that, I missed a FANTASTIC chance for my teacher to get a good impression on me!!!
What you expect me to do ler?! Go up in front and tell her I did it?! No rite.
So omg.
All wasted.
The whole class after that. I damn boh song. She was clearly super interested and amazed with the flyer. She ran out of compliments describing it.
Sigh. Not being lanc la.
But just.
You know la.
As stated above.
:(
A huge chance gone.
Haih.
Learnt my lesson at least. From now on, all my designs. Will have my signature at the bottom.
Too late to regret. Hope she finds out sooner or later of course.
:(
:(
-alexeO-
It sucks having to feel like you put an effort into something and if the results turn out good, you get no recognition for it. No credit whatsoever. Instead, misunderstandings or not, other less worthy ppl get credit for what you have done.
It sucks big time.
It is not a matter of showing off or not, but I strongly feel the main effort guy should be receiving all the credits he can get as he deserves it.
Especially if he is not rewarded in any ways for his efforts. I'm whining again but I have my reasons.
A little more about that later.
Do you know the sudden shock of motivation you receive sometimes during your educational years? Like all of a sudden, you have this sudden drive which makes you feel extremely motivated to complete your assignment or to study. Shocks like that is coming quite often for me but most often at the wrong times. Zzz. When I am actually in the environment to study.. the motivation is gone. :/
It's like.. you are on the way home from the mall..then you feel the sudden shock of motivation..then u go to the library.. but the moment you arrive at the library, the motivation is gone. U get it?! I get that all the time. Sigh. But at least I'm improving. At least I'm feeling the shocks now. :)
My first SAM progress report is shitty. I am only proud of my ESL marks which actually don't overshadow the much weaker marks. I only can hope and pray I can actually work on the subjects I scored very low in. :(
Okay.
Back to the taking credit thing.
So *ahem* today rite..
During Specialist Maths period, one of my classmates passed my teacher the flyer I designed..
Okla before that, briefly.. the teacher has this impression of me being extremely weak and being not really hardworking enough for my standard.. I always try to make her have a good impression on me somehow.. I always try to show her I'm paying attention and I force myself to understand the lessons most of the time.
Ok back to the flyer which was passed to her.. after a few explanation she gave.. she looked at the flyer.. and started saying..
"Who did this? Well done. It's brilliant"
She looked up to the class and expect a quick and immediate reply.
No one said anything initially until someone spoke..
"Us."
I always inside thinking '???' LOL. Of course I didn't raise my hand and said "me me me" I dowan to sound gay like that. SO being the 'wanting-credit' me, I of course expect someone to say my name.
I think the reason my classmates said "us" was because they thought she was talking about the whole haunted house and wasn't just the flyer. But I understood the question 100%.
Then she said.. "Impossible! I doubt you all can come together and come up with this" or something like that.
Then the class just replied in a very soft tone stating they really are doing it or something.
1000005% misunderstood.
So me, being a victim and biggest loser of the situation, knew she didn't believe and would ask my class rep. Come on la! I really want to get a good impression okay? It was my chance and I just can't screw it like that!
And I was right, she DID ask my class rep after that. After she gave us some work to do.
But I think my class rep misunderstood it too. Or somehow he just didn't want to say my name. Argh.
My teacher asked the same question again to my class rep. I tried listening to the conversation.
"So who did this?" She was clearly interested and curious.
My class rep replied "Erm, we discussed about it and ....came up with it"
Me : -_________-" Huh. ?_?
?_?
-____-
WTf?
SUPER 50000006% misunderstood wei!
Or somehow he just doesn't want to give me the credit I deserve.
AHHHHH.
Cmon la. I have this thinking. As a designer who is not receiving any pays whatsoever, I deserve the credit at least. But I didn't even get that.
And not only that, I missed a FANTASTIC chance for my teacher to get a good impression on me!!!
What you expect me to do ler?! Go up in front and tell her I did it?! No rite.
So omg.
All wasted.
The whole class after that. I damn boh song. She was clearly super interested and amazed with the flyer. She ran out of compliments describing it.
Sigh. Not being lanc la.
But just.
You know la.
As stated above.
:(
A huge chance gone.
Haih.
Learnt my lesson at least. From now on, all my designs. Will have my signature at the bottom.
Too late to regret. Hope she finds out sooner or later of course.
:(
:(
-alexeO-
Monday, March 20, 2006
Yawn
Tomorrow I have to go back to college after a 1 week break.
Haih.
Dun feel like it. Prefer to stay at home, staying up till 4am, waking up in the afternoon and tuning in to the Commonwealth Games then spending some time online and repeat the whole process all over again.
Unlike some other ppl who have boring lives at home(hehe), I'm not as keen to go back to college. Zzz again.
I think I found the reason why.
The piles and piles of work AND Specialist Mathematics.
I dun like it when I receive much homework which I have to do because if I don't, I won't understand as much on what is happening in class during lectures.
And also,
specialist maths. Once in a while, my teacher would just like to randomly walk around the class to check whether we had done the work. I mean seriously la.. so zzz.
And I'm one of the worried bunch because .. of certain obvious reasons.
Hopefully it will change tomorrow!
I want to get the liking-college mood all over again.
cmon alex!
be more hardworking!
-alexeO-
Tomorrow I have to go back to college after a 1 week break.
Haih.
Dun feel like it. Prefer to stay at home, staying up till 4am, waking up in the afternoon and tuning in to the Commonwealth Games then spending some time online and repeat the whole process all over again.
Unlike some other ppl who have boring lives at home(hehe), I'm not as keen to go back to college. Zzz again.
I think I found the reason why.
The piles and piles of work AND Specialist Mathematics.
I dun like it when I receive much homework which I have to do because if I don't, I won't understand as much on what is happening in class during lectures.
And also,
specialist maths. Once in a while, my teacher would just like to randomly walk around the class to check whether we had done the work. I mean seriously la.. so zzz.
And I'm one of the worried bunch because .. of certain obvious reasons.
Hopefully it will change tomorrow!
I want to get the liking-college mood all over again.
cmon alex!
be more hardworking!
-alexeO-
Friday, March 17, 2006
Sing me a song
I just can't get enough of this song!
I was watching the commonwealth games opening ceremony few days back when almost at the end Delta Goodrem appeared from the centre of the stage and started singing this song.. I think the title should be Together We Are One but ANYWAY, it was freaking good!! I wished I got the video man. When she sang, got ppl with fireworks around her and woahhhh!! CANNOT TAHAN. SO DAMN GAYA.
And Delta looked so chun that night. O.o
Delta Goodrem - Together We Are One
Damn gaya song okay.
Dem meaningful summore.
Just try to imagine ppl moving around her carrying fireworks at their backs.
Esp during the climax of the song.
Ahh.
I shud go hear it again now.
O.o
-alexeO-
I just can't get enough of this song!
I was watching the commonwealth games opening ceremony few days back when almost at the end Delta Goodrem appeared from the centre of the stage and started singing this song.. I think the title should be Together We Are One but ANYWAY, it was freaking good!! I wished I got the video man. When she sang, got ppl with fireworks around her and woahhhh!! CANNOT TAHAN. SO DAMN GAYA.
And Delta looked so chun that night. O.o
Delta Goodrem - Together We Are One
Damn gaya song okay.
Dem meaningful summore.
Just try to imagine ppl moving around her carrying fireworks at their backs.
Esp during the climax of the song.
Ahh.
I shud go hear it again now.
O.o
-alexeO-
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
A self-satisfying post
Ehh!
I realised something.
I didn't read the papers yesterday so just now when I went through to see how the SPM results were like..
As usual la, got this group of happy faces screaming for joy scoring double digits 1As..
So as I looked at the photos of the top scorers of the country.. this guy ..who scored 15A1s.. was showing his slip to the camera..
Then I realised something! Guess what?!
He didn't get 1A for 1119!
Hahaha! SO which means, I got higher than him for that one grade!! Hahaha. Damn proud lor.. beat top scorer in something. Bwahahaha.
I know I sound stupid and u are probably giving me that "-____-" face.. but bear with me pls! HAhahahaha! I need to find news which would make me feel better! Just give that consolation to me pls. thx. =)
It feels good cause... it's like..saying... u got a better low-register voice than Mariah Carey.. cause it's like..ppl saying she's one of the best in singing and u actually beat her in one part of her singing.. u get it?! :D
And yea yea! Another thing.. this girl who wasn't enlisted in the top scorers list.. cause she got 15A1s but 1A2 or something.. guess what she got A2 for.. EST! I got 1A for that okay?! Bwahahahaha!
I feel dem smart. I beat another high scorer for a subject.
Okla enuff.
Thx for your time.
This is satisfying.
:)
-alexeO-
Ehh!
I realised something.
I didn't read the papers yesterday so just now when I went through to see how the SPM results were like..
As usual la, got this group of happy faces screaming for joy scoring double digits 1As..
So as I looked at the photos of the top scorers of the country.. this guy ..who scored 15A1s.. was showing his slip to the camera..
Then I realised something! Guess what?!
He didn't get 1A for 1119!
Hahaha! SO which means, I got higher than him for that one grade!! Hahaha. Damn proud lor.. beat top scorer in something. Bwahahaha.
I know I sound stupid and u are probably giving me that "-____-" face.. but bear with me pls! HAhahahaha! I need to find news which would make me feel better! Just give that consolation to me pls. thx. =)
It feels good cause... it's like..saying... u got a better low-register voice than Mariah Carey.. cause it's like..ppl saying she's one of the best in singing and u actually beat her in one part of her singing.. u get it?! :D
And yea yea! Another thing.. this girl who wasn't enlisted in the top scorers list.. cause she got 15A1s but 1A2 or something.. guess what she got A2 for.. EST! I got 1A for that okay?! Bwahahahaha!
I feel dem smart. I beat another high scorer for a subject.
Okla enuff.
Thx for your time.
This is satisfying.
:)
-alexeO-
Monday, March 13, 2006
I am a confused, lost child
I have collected my SPM results today.
I don't know whether to be happy or to be sad.
Before the SPM, during the revision weeks, I actually had a small target placed and not many actually know about it.
I was targetting for my 5 core subjects to score A + my EST subject. Then my 7th A will come from one of the 4 science subjects. I did that cause I know I sucked in my science subjects and to pick 1 out of 4 sounds more reasonable then to score A in all 4. So I came with a target of 7As. The minimum to get price money from the school during Scholastic Award Day.
However, during/after the SPM, I found my target a little too hard to keep. So my prediction was a far cry from my original target. From 7As I originally planned, my prediction went down to a mere 2-4 As. The reason being, I know I sucked for History.. BM was a tricky paper and my science subjects seemed to impossible for me to get an A in any of them. And thus, my target.
So I kept this 2-4As target with me from the day SPM finished on December 2nd till yesterday night. I always had a little space for this tiny glimpse of hope inside me which I often refuse to think about. But it's still there.. I know the possibilities of me achieving outside my 2-4As prediction is there. Afterall, the forecast I achieved was a mere 4As. With a mixtures of Bs and Cs. Seemed tremendously horrible for a student in a Science class. Many friends of mine would dread to have results as bad as I had gotten for my forecast. In fact, I know some ppl who got like many As and 1-2 Bs for their forecast but they are like damn disappointed for some reason.
Honestly, ppl like that makes me laugh. To think of the standard difference and the expectations level is ridiculous. Why such huge contradiction in satisfaction. It is just funny and quite annoying to some extent.
So like I've said, my 2-3As prediction was with me till yesterday night. This morning I woke up and already was thinking of how to face my parents after showing them my 2-4As which I will not be surprised with. I may be disappointed because I always expect a surprise, but that's just another annoying part of me. So in the car on my way, I already told my mum what I expected and we had a slight 'talk' about it. It wasn't exactly an argument but I guess I was just trying to prepare her for the worst.
When I've finally gotten my results. My initial reaction was 'hell yea'. The teacher in charged was looking at my slip and counting the As I have. He didn't stop after 2-4. He went on further, slightly. I was quite surprised. I feel mixed and confused. It was just so weird.
I suddenly didn't feel as happy as I thought I would be when I beat my expectations.
I thought I would be happy, but I wasn't feeling particularly overjoyed or something.
I was just.. confused. It hurts even more when I realised I am just about right in the middle of my class. 40% of my class are top scorers. I'm about the 50% and above.
I went out after that with the guys.. eventhough my results were congratulated and acknowledged positively by some of my family members, it wasn't great if compared to my frens.
It is also confusing because I have this group which is congratulating me and on the other hand this group which would definitely think if they had gotten my results, they would be darn disappointed. I duno what to feel right now. I am sandwiched right in the middle.
And yea, the top scorer of my school achieved 12As. 9A1s and 3A2s. Congrats to him. Since my school is a small shitty school with only 50+ students taking SPM last year, the results are pretty good. My class did the best expectedly being the only science class of the school..(the other class doesn't count cause it only has 6 students).
I am not happy nor sad.
I am just,
confused.
:/
-alexeO-
I have collected my SPM results today.
I don't know whether to be happy or to be sad.
Before the SPM, during the revision weeks, I actually had a small target placed and not many actually know about it.
I was targetting for my 5 core subjects to score A + my EST subject. Then my 7th A will come from one of the 4 science subjects. I did that cause I know I sucked in my science subjects and to pick 1 out of 4 sounds more reasonable then to score A in all 4. So I came with a target of 7As. The minimum to get price money from the school during Scholastic Award Day.
However, during/after the SPM, I found my target a little too hard to keep. So my prediction was a far cry from my original target. From 7As I originally planned, my prediction went down to a mere 2-4 As. The reason being, I know I sucked for History.. BM was a tricky paper and my science subjects seemed to impossible for me to get an A in any of them. And thus, my target.
So I kept this 2-4As target with me from the day SPM finished on December 2nd till yesterday night. I always had a little space for this tiny glimpse of hope inside me which I often refuse to think about. But it's still there.. I know the possibilities of me achieving outside my 2-4As prediction is there. Afterall, the forecast I achieved was a mere 4As. With a mixtures of Bs and Cs. Seemed tremendously horrible for a student in a Science class. Many friends of mine would dread to have results as bad as I had gotten for my forecast. In fact, I know some ppl who got like many As and 1-2 Bs for their forecast but they are like damn disappointed for some reason.
Honestly, ppl like that makes me laugh. To think of the standard difference and the expectations level is ridiculous. Why such huge contradiction in satisfaction. It is just funny and quite annoying to some extent.
So like I've said, my 2-3As prediction was with me till yesterday night. This morning I woke up and already was thinking of how to face my parents after showing them my 2-4As which I will not be surprised with. I may be disappointed because I always expect a surprise, but that's just another annoying part of me. So in the car on my way, I already told my mum what I expected and we had a slight 'talk' about it. It wasn't exactly an argument but I guess I was just trying to prepare her for the worst.
When I've finally gotten my results. My initial reaction was 'hell yea'. The teacher in charged was looking at my slip and counting the As I have. He didn't stop after 2-4. He went on further, slightly. I was quite surprised. I feel mixed and confused. It was just so weird.
I suddenly didn't feel as happy as I thought I would be when I beat my expectations.
I thought I would be happy, but I wasn't feeling particularly overjoyed or something.
I was just.. confused. It hurts even more when I realised I am just about right in the middle of my class. 40% of my class are top scorers. I'm about the 50% and above.
I went out after that with the guys.. eventhough my results were congratulated and acknowledged positively by some of my family members, it wasn't great if compared to my frens.
It is also confusing because I have this group which is congratulating me and on the other hand this group which would definitely think if they had gotten my results, they would be darn disappointed. I duno what to feel right now. I am sandwiched right in the middle.
And yea, the top scorer of my school achieved 12As. 9A1s and 3A2s. Congrats to him. Since my school is a small shitty school with only 50+ students taking SPM last year, the results are pretty good. My class did the best expectedly being the only science class of the school..(the other class doesn't count cause it only has 6 students).
I am not happy nor sad.
I am just,
confused.
:/
-alexeO-
SPM Results 2005
I know I said I don't fking care too some.
I know I said screw it to some.
I know I said it wouldn't matter to some.
But now I feel,
it is only human if i start feeling the tension for the spm results.
I dont think it is caused by my own personal curiosity or interest.
I think I am feeling it because of all the hype surrounding me regarding the SPM results.
Everywhere I go, ppl are talking about SPM results. Bla bla bla. How much they need to score and all. I don't feel the same way.
I feel it because ppl are feeling it. U geddit?
At first I thought I stood a teeny weeny slim chance to score a miracle.. but the more I think, the more I look at it, the more I think about my past and my results I scored last year, the less hopeful I am.
I read back my blog archives reading the 9 days of SPM i had.
I could see I felt no confidence in scoring A for the science subjects and several core subjects.
So why should I feel the confidence now? I know myself best right after I did those papers.
I think another reason on why life as a student sucks is because you have all these examinations. It is not because of how much you need to study for them but it is because of the "results" you anticipate for.
Sometimes you don't anticipate it, but the ppl around you do. And that's exactly my case. Curious family members and close friends just would want to know ur results. You know you already sucked in the examination, you know you wouldn't score well. Everyone can roughly figure out what they'll get after sitting for the papers.. and yet, you tell everyone around you that you gonna get sucky results but they just wanna know anyway.
It hurts to tell ppl a bad result.
3 years ago, 2003. PMR Results.
I felt the tension like a mad cow. It was even more tension-ed than how I am feeling now. But I didn't feel the "what-if-I-get-bad-results" feeling. I honestly didn't.
Even if I did, it would be easily cured. That was because I knew if I hadn't scored well, I would still enter form 4 and then form 5 and then I will have to sit for my SPM which hopefully I will be motivated to study.
But I DID score well for PMR. Fantastic in fact. So my happiness doubled and my confidence grew. And I never knew what does a disappointed feeling over an examination result felt like.
That is why I am feeling all these jumbled up feelings right now. I already know I won't score well. I am just thinking on how the disappointment will feel like.
I am thinking on how am I gonna face my parents and my friends. I told ppl I wouldn't ask for their results if they don't ask for mine. That was the deal I made. But honestly, I really wanna know everyone's results but I just don't want anyone to know mine. I know it's selfish. But I have reasons to it.
The reason I am afraid of scoring badly is because for one, the impression I will give to my family and friends. I hate ppl thinking I am a dumb kid with no brains and only knows how to face the computer and online 24/7. I honestly hate it.
I want ppl to see my as an average study-able kid with a healthy mind. But it doesn't come if you do badly for ur examinations.
My PMR results also place many false impression about me. I am not smart. I am not intelligent. My PMR results were a fluke or the exams were simply too easy.
Anyone could had scored. I was just a little more lucky. But NO. After the results, ppl will expect more or similiar from me for SPM. I hate it. It's disgusting.
That is why I felt rejuvenated and happy when Kim told me she wouldn't look down on me whatsoever if I really did badly for my SPM. She would just think of me as lazy.
I love that thought.
I really hope my parents would take it lightly regarding my SPM results. I hope they wouldn't be sarcastic or angry but just laugh it off. I seriously hope they do.
And I also hope I wouldn't get flooded with phone calls after the results which happens to be in a few hours time. I just want it to be a normal day.
I can just feel the disappointment now.
I duno how long it will last.
I hope it disappears soon.
Once in a while, I like to imagine what if I really did score well. But after a few secs of imagining, I quickly shook the thoughts off as I know it will just increase my disappointment to a larger extent.
I keep telling ppl I dont care about the results. But if I don't, why have I typed so long regarding the SPM Results. It's 3:43am now as I type this sentence. I will be going to school at around 10-11am later.
I have frens who are expecting straight As or many many As.
I don't know what to say.
How nice if I could invent a machine which would tell me everbody's results and then after that make everyone not interested in discussing about the SPM results anymore, better if erased from memory.
However much I try to forget the results tomorrow, ppl would still be talking about it. I also have to pass my results to the college(hopefully they don't consider kicking me out). Frens will discuss. Online forums will ask each other on how they fared. It will/may still be a topic of conversation in my family.
I want to collect my results as I am dead curious and just forget it all.
But I am just wishing for an impossible thing to happen.
I can just smell the bad cloud which overshadowed me for the whole of last year approaching me now.
Go away. Pls.
-alexeO-
I know I said I don't fking care too some.
I know I said screw it to some.
I know I said it wouldn't matter to some.
But now I feel,
it is only human if i start feeling the tension for the spm results.
I dont think it is caused by my own personal curiosity or interest.
I think I am feeling it because of all the hype surrounding me regarding the SPM results.
Everywhere I go, ppl are talking about SPM results. Bla bla bla. How much they need to score and all. I don't feel the same way.
I feel it because ppl are feeling it. U geddit?
At first I thought I stood a teeny weeny slim chance to score a miracle.. but the more I think, the more I look at it, the more I think about my past and my results I scored last year, the less hopeful I am.
I read back my blog archives reading the 9 days of SPM i had.
I could see I felt no confidence in scoring A for the science subjects and several core subjects.
So why should I feel the confidence now? I know myself best right after I did those papers.
I think another reason on why life as a student sucks is because you have all these examinations. It is not because of how much you need to study for them but it is because of the "results" you anticipate for.
Sometimes you don't anticipate it, but the ppl around you do. And that's exactly my case. Curious family members and close friends just would want to know ur results. You know you already sucked in the examination, you know you wouldn't score well. Everyone can roughly figure out what they'll get after sitting for the papers.. and yet, you tell everyone around you that you gonna get sucky results but they just wanna know anyway.
It hurts to tell ppl a bad result.
3 years ago, 2003. PMR Results.
I felt the tension like a mad cow. It was even more tension-ed than how I am feeling now. But I didn't feel the "what-if-I-get-bad-results" feeling. I honestly didn't.
Even if I did, it would be easily cured. That was because I knew if I hadn't scored well, I would still enter form 4 and then form 5 and then I will have to sit for my SPM which hopefully I will be motivated to study.
But I DID score well for PMR. Fantastic in fact. So my happiness doubled and my confidence grew. And I never knew what does a disappointed feeling over an examination result felt like.
That is why I am feeling all these jumbled up feelings right now. I already know I won't score well. I am just thinking on how the disappointment will feel like.
I am thinking on how am I gonna face my parents and my friends. I told ppl I wouldn't ask for their results if they don't ask for mine. That was the deal I made. But honestly, I really wanna know everyone's results but I just don't want anyone to know mine. I know it's selfish. But I have reasons to it.
The reason I am afraid of scoring badly is because for one, the impression I will give to my family and friends. I hate ppl thinking I am a dumb kid with no brains and only knows how to face the computer and online 24/7. I honestly hate it.
I want ppl to see my as an average study-able kid with a healthy mind. But it doesn't come if you do badly for ur examinations.
My PMR results also place many false impression about me. I am not smart. I am not intelligent. My PMR results were a fluke or the exams were simply too easy.
Anyone could had scored. I was just a little more lucky. But NO. After the results, ppl will expect more or similiar from me for SPM. I hate it. It's disgusting.
That is why I felt rejuvenated and happy when Kim told me she wouldn't look down on me whatsoever if I really did badly for my SPM. She would just think of me as lazy.
I love that thought.
I really hope my parents would take it lightly regarding my SPM results. I hope they wouldn't be sarcastic or angry but just laugh it off. I seriously hope they do.
And I also hope I wouldn't get flooded with phone calls after the results which happens to be in a few hours time. I just want it to be a normal day.
I can just feel the disappointment now.
I duno how long it will last.
I hope it disappears soon.
Once in a while, I like to imagine what if I really did score well. But after a few secs of imagining, I quickly shook the thoughts off as I know it will just increase my disappointment to a larger extent.
I keep telling ppl I dont care about the results. But if I don't, why have I typed so long regarding the SPM Results. It's 3:43am now as I type this sentence. I will be going to school at around 10-11am later.
I have frens who are expecting straight As or many many As.
I don't know what to say.
How nice if I could invent a machine which would tell me everbody's results and then after that make everyone not interested in discussing about the SPM results anymore, better if erased from memory.
However much I try to forget the results tomorrow, ppl would still be talking about it. I also have to pass my results to the college(hopefully they don't consider kicking me out). Frens will discuss. Online forums will ask each other on how they fared. It will/may still be a topic of conversation in my family.
I want to collect my results as I am dead curious and just forget it all.
But I am just wishing for an impossible thing to happen.
I can just smell the bad cloud which overshadowed me for the whole of last year approaching me now.
Go away. Pls.
-alexeO-
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Woot
I can't help but blog again. 2nd time today!
:D :D :D
My sister's fren wanted to use the computer just now.. So I went to the kitchen instead to munch on some food.. Then I saw this typical Hindustan movie featuring Shah Rukh Khan. At first I treated it as a normal sing-dance love romance movie..
But I continued watching while munching on my food.. Then I realised..OMG. This movie is good man!! Something about the Pakistan and India alliance thingy.
Got fighting and all. I thought the camera and the plot was excellent. The acting was very good too. Except for some corny pigeon-flying-past-when-the-hero-gets-hit-part, I figured it's actually a very well produced movie. Quite entertaining towards the end too. This is the first time in many years I wanted to finish the show.
And the girls were damn gorgeous as usual. Bollywood girls. XD
I came back from a haircut.
Haha. After so long. I feel much fresher and lighter. My thick bushy long hair has been thinned finally. I am liking the new style currently. I didn't re-dye it though.. color still visible. Maybe my next haircut round I will.
Hahaha. I took photos of my new hair again.. I didn't take the before though, because I couldn't get a nice shot.. I tried but it didn't work. =D
My 'shortened' hair!
Haha!
-alexeO-
I can't help but blog again. 2nd time today!
:D :D :D
My sister's fren wanted to use the computer just now.. So I went to the kitchen instead to munch on some food.. Then I saw this typical Hindustan movie featuring Shah Rukh Khan. At first I treated it as a normal sing-dance love romance movie..
But I continued watching while munching on my food.. Then I realised..OMG. This movie is good man!! Something about the Pakistan and India alliance thingy.
Got fighting and all. I thought the camera and the plot was excellent. The acting was very good too. Except for some corny pigeon-flying-past-when-the-hero-gets-hit-part, I figured it's actually a very well produced movie. Quite entertaining towards the end too. This is the first time in many years I wanted to finish the show.
And the girls were damn gorgeous as usual. Bollywood girls. XD
I came back from a haircut.
Haha. After so long. I feel much fresher and lighter. My thick bushy long hair has been thinned finally. I am liking the new style currently. I didn't re-dye it though.. color still visible. Maybe my next haircut round I will.
Hahaha. I took photos of my new hair again.. I didn't take the before though, because I couldn't get a nice shot.. I tried but it didn't work. =D
My 'shortened' hair!
Haha!
-alexeO-
No title
I just came back from my 3-hr Practical Seminar.
Haahahahahaha. Everyone in that class passed undang. I bet my story of passing is one of the more 'different' one. :)
So they told us a little more about the tests and all. Thinking about it also damn nervous. Nooooo~
I got this feeling like I will fail. Pretty scary. I think the failing for Undang affected me. :/
I gonna go for 3-hr basic driving next week. I tried a manual car before with Allen's car and wasn't really 'feeling' it. Hopefully with a proper instructor I can fare much better. At least I got a very slight headstart compared to the other newbies. Just waiting from a call from my instructor.. holiday next week btw for me.
SPM results on monday. Lala.
I going off to cut my long messy dyed hair after I finish my Korean Instant Noodles.
Oh wellz.
Cya all.
Bye.
-alexeO-
I just came back from my 3-hr Practical Seminar.
Haahahahahaha. Everyone in that class passed undang. I bet my story of passing is one of the more 'different' one. :)
So they told us a little more about the tests and all. Thinking about it also damn nervous. Nooooo~
I got this feeling like I will fail. Pretty scary. I think the failing for Undang affected me. :/
I gonna go for 3-hr basic driving next week. I tried a manual car before with Allen's car and wasn't really 'feeling' it. Hopefully with a proper instructor I can fare much better. At least I got a very slight headstart compared to the other newbies. Just waiting from a call from my instructor.. holiday next week btw for me.
SPM results on monday. Lala.
I going off to cut my long messy dyed hair after I finish my Korean Instant Noodles.
Oh wellz.
Cya all.
Bye.
-alexeO-
Thursday, March 09, 2006
No impact made
I just can't seem to get rid of the habit of coming online as soon as I get back from college.
My very brief daily timetable without the eating times is something like this. Wake up, college, TV(optional), online, sleep. I'm not exaggerating. It's like this EVERY-SINGLE-DAY.
That is why I try to finish my homework in the library before I arrive home. Because when I arrive home, it is basically GG. Unless I have something really,really important to hand in the next day. Other than that, I just won't do. So if it happens that I don't do my work in the library after college due to some circumstances, then... that's just too sad.
Sigh I just made a very honest confession. :(
SPM Results next monday! Bwahaha. I just love to make ppl my age feel uncomfortable.
SPM SPM SPM RESULTS. BWahaha.
I'm actually stupid enough to affect myself that way. Sien. Hopefully nothing too negatively significant will be posted up on the blog soon. =)
I designed a flyer for my class charity drive event! I asked my fren to design another and we eventually figured his should be posted around campus and mine should be distributed by people to other people.
So fellow Taylorians, check this out!*
Come la. If don't feel like supporting us also at least think of the charity part!
All our hardwork for charity guys! Think! :D
And also,
I bet none of you know I'm totally crazy over Holiday by Greenday. LOVE THAT SONG MAN! I KNOW IT'S OLD AND RELEASED LONG TIME AGO. BUT IT WAS SOMETIME EARLY THIS YEAR WHEN I HEARD IT AGAIN AND WAS LIKE WOAH!!!
GUARANTEED TO MAKE ME MOVE MY HEAD AND FEET EVERYTIME! HAHAHHA!
Pwned.
-alexeO-
I just can't seem to get rid of the habit of coming online as soon as I get back from college.
My very brief daily timetable without the eating times is something like this. Wake up, college, TV(optional), online, sleep. I'm not exaggerating. It's like this EVERY-SINGLE-DAY.
That is why I try to finish my homework in the library before I arrive home. Because when I arrive home, it is basically GG. Unless I have something really,really important to hand in the next day. Other than that, I just won't do. So if it happens that I don't do my work in the library after college due to some circumstances, then... that's just too sad.
Sigh I just made a very honest confession. :(
SPM Results next monday! Bwahaha. I just love to make ppl my age feel uncomfortable.
SPM SPM SPM RESULTS. BWahaha.
I'm actually stupid enough to affect myself that way. Sien. Hopefully nothing too negatively significant will be posted up on the blog soon. =)
I designed a flyer for my class charity drive event! I asked my fren to design another and we eventually figured his should be posted around campus and mine should be distributed by people to other people.
So fellow Taylorians, check this out!*
Come la. If don't feel like supporting us also at least think of the charity part!
All our hardwork for charity guys! Think! :D
And also,
I bet none of you know I'm totally crazy over Holiday by Greenday. LOVE THAT SONG MAN! I KNOW IT'S OLD AND RELEASED LONG TIME AGO. BUT IT WAS SOMETIME EARLY THIS YEAR WHEN I HEARD IT AGAIN AND WAS LIKE WOAH!!!
GUARANTEED TO MAKE ME MOVE MY HEAD AND FEET EVERYTIME! HAHAHHA!
Pwned.
-alexeO-
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Undang and alexeO Part 2
Ok so to sum it all up, this is how it went.
I used 30 mins yesterday to complete the test.
I got 39/50 when I got a few wrong for the 3 sections each.
Today however,
I used 14 mins to complete the test.
My section A got 15/15
My section B got 25/25
My section C got 6/10
Add them all up, I got 46/50.
Passing mark is 42/50.
WOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YEAH~!
The troublesome-worried-about-colorblind part is all over.
Driving license, here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-alexeO-
Ok so to sum it all up, this is how it went.
I used 30 mins yesterday to complete the test.
I got 39/50 when I got a few wrong for the 3 sections each.
Today however,
I used 14 mins to complete the test.
My section A got 15/15
My section B got 25/25
My section C got 6/10
Add them all up, I got 46/50.
Passing mark is 42/50.
WOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YEAH~!
The troublesome-worried-about-colorblind part is all over.
Driving license, here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-alexeO-
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Undang and alexeO
I cannot believe what just happened.
OK this morning, or afternoon rather.
I left home to sit for my Undang examination. Yes, that car test.
Which I WAS SUPPOSED TO fail the colorblind part.
Which was the first 5 questions.
I walked in to the RILEK Center(where you sit for the test).
Small room. 2 workes at the registration counter.
I took a deep breath and walked to the counter.
"Nak duduk undang"
"Give me your IC," the malay man replied.
He stared up at me. I realised he's one-eyed for some reasons.
I took out my wallet and gave him my IC.
"First time?" he asked after clicking a few keys and click on the keyboard and mouse.
"yeah,". I duno whether to say I am colorblind straight to get rid of the hassle or not. So I just followed procedure.
He then asked me to read several sentences of rules that was attached on the table. I read. And got even more troubled.
JIKA CALON DAPAT SATU SALAH DALAM UJIAN RABUN MATA PUN, MAKNANYA SELURUH UJIAN GAGAL.
-_________-
So I put on my innocent acting face and asked,
"Kalau dapat salah macammana, like tekan salah etc.."
He looked up at me with his one eye. He really has one eye. I was like thinking his vision condition is even worst than mine.. I really shud appreciate myself mroe.. and he wouldn't laugh inside him of my defiency.
"Mesti dapat surat doktor,"he replied.ZZz. Misunderstood my question but nvm.
Anyway,
my initial plan was to ask a friendly person there to help me. But when I was there, there was only this 2 malay ladies who are frens. And this girl with a bf at another corner. Who to ask. The 2 malay ladies got the face of 'dont-talk-to-me' kind.
So i sat myself and waited.
The wait was grueling. It was tough.
I sms-ed a few frens asking them what to do.
So many thoughts at my head that time. What if I get the question wrong. I walk in and walk out in less than 5 mins. Will there be a big alarm. Will there be a big UJIAN GAGAL at the computer? How. I was sighing almost every minute.
Then they called a malay girl's name and told them the procedures.. And another malay lady followed suit.
Then he finally called.
"Yeo Chia Yuan"
I looked up from my slouch.
And walked towards the counter.
"this is it," I thought.
So i was informed on what to do and all and walked it. Heck I didn't even know which computer I was supposed to go to. Then at that very instance one of the registration man passed the room and I quickly stopped him. He told me to look at the number that was given. He didn't seem irrirated. I think he is used to it.
I sat at the computer I was allocated to.
They somehow put the 2 malay frens together. How zzz. And put me far away at a corner.
I saw the screen. Was supposed to key my IC in. I jsut wanna finish it quick and get it over with and walked out asap after I fail and get wrong for the test.
To my desperation, I keyed in my IC wrongly. I tried to backspace. Nothing happened.
ZZZ. I was panicking. I walked out of the room and called him. He quickly say go in and I will go there! They msut be thinking how troublesoem this boy is.
When I went it. I finally saw the Backspace function.
-___________-
Sigh. Then he came in and deleted my whole IC. I have to pretend I don't know.
Sigh. What bad impression I gave. And to think I will fail the colorblind test sure make them think of me even lower.
So the test started..
Ujian Rabun Warna.. Kalau gagal bla bla bla doktor bla bla bla.
Okla! How many times must they emphasize it.
Then it started. The bloody colored dots thing.
First question. Was quite confident. Can see abit. Ok choose closest.
2nd. I saw a ball. No square. Quickly choose the square and ball answer as I saw this in a book before. 3rd question. Didnt know if it was 45 or 46. Choose 45 as it look like it closest. 4th Question. Can see abit of number. Choose closest. 5 Dotted question. Can't see anything. But diagram was very familiar. Choose 3 which I thought was the answer of it I saw in the book before.
Then they came out one big red circle and asked me what color was it. And then green. -__-
They asked me if I wanted to check my answers or end that test.
I ended it.
Tahniah! Anda lulus dalam Ujian Buta Warna.
8/8
Huh.
What
in
the
name
of.
What
The?
HECK?!!!!!!!
-___________-!
?????
I was. Like. Huh?
This is not it!
I was supposed to fail and get mistakes and walk out of that room!!!
But it didn't happen.
Another half of me was feeling like ,"omg u passed. just try to pass Undang now"
The vision test was super easy. I passed it too.
Then came the 50 questions.
WHICH I WAS NOT READY AT ALL.
THE LAST TIME I DID 100+ QUESTIONS OUT OF THE 500 QUESTIOSN BOOK WAS LIKE a year ago.
DIDNT EVEN FINSIH THE BOOK.
I DONT KNOW ANYTHING.
To cut things short,
I found the test to be incredibly tough and unfair.
They asked me some injap minyak question. And some motosikal question.
How the heck do I know.
And some road sign questions which I never saw before.
I spent so long for that test. I didn't even think I would be sitting for it that very instance. But I did.
And when I clicked Tamat Ujian finally.
A big 78% appeared on the screen.
Anda telah gagal Ujian Undang or whatever.
.............
What a freaking dumbass.
Honestly I felt so LOW that time.
I know I wasn't even ready.
But still I felt VERY LOW.
I was so close yet so far.
I finsihed the color test.
But why. I didn't even plan to take the 50 questions test.
Why. So near. Now I gotta call the instructor again and inform my frens.
And to sit for the undang exam again is just so troublesome.
Why.
My instructor alraedy called and booked the resit for tomorrow.
I gonna try to do the 500 questions later.
They said 2nd time no need sit for color test.
Why does everything seemed like they are playing me.
I got 39/50 in case u are wondering. 42 passing mark.
I got the lowest I think in my group of frens.
I'm blogging at Inferno now a cyber cafe in SS15. I walked there, waiting for my transport to arrive. Still waiting now. I gotta go back to the centre later to tell them about me going back tomorrow. Feeling nervous about it alraedy. What if I really did fail again or something. The embarassment.
Aih.
I
feel
so
confused
now
and
have
mixed
feelings.
Aih.
=(
-alexeO-
I cannot believe what just happened.
OK this morning, or afternoon rather.
I left home to sit for my Undang examination. Yes, that car test.
Which I WAS SUPPOSED TO fail the colorblind part.
Which was the first 5 questions.
I walked in to the RILEK Center(where you sit for the test).
Small room. 2 workes at the registration counter.
I took a deep breath and walked to the counter.
"Nak duduk undang"
"Give me your IC," the malay man replied.
He stared up at me. I realised he's one-eyed for some reasons.
I took out my wallet and gave him my IC.
"First time?" he asked after clicking a few keys and click on the keyboard and mouse.
"yeah,". I duno whether to say I am colorblind straight to get rid of the hassle or not. So I just followed procedure.
He then asked me to read several sentences of rules that was attached on the table. I read. And got even more troubled.
JIKA CALON DAPAT SATU SALAH DALAM UJIAN RABUN MATA PUN, MAKNANYA SELURUH UJIAN GAGAL.
-_________-
So I put on my innocent acting face and asked,
"Kalau dapat salah macammana, like tekan salah etc.."
He looked up at me with his one eye. He really has one eye. I was like thinking his vision condition is even worst than mine.. I really shud appreciate myself mroe.. and he wouldn't laugh inside him of my defiency.
"Mesti dapat surat doktor,"he replied.ZZz. Misunderstood my question but nvm.
Anyway,
my initial plan was to ask a friendly person there to help me. But when I was there, there was only this 2 malay ladies who are frens. And this girl with a bf at another corner. Who to ask. The 2 malay ladies got the face of 'dont-talk-to-me' kind.
So i sat myself and waited.
The wait was grueling. It was tough.
I sms-ed a few frens asking them what to do.
So many thoughts at my head that time. What if I get the question wrong. I walk in and walk out in less than 5 mins. Will there be a big alarm. Will there be a big UJIAN GAGAL at the computer? How. I was sighing almost every minute.
Then they called a malay girl's name and told them the procedures.. And another malay lady followed suit.
Then he finally called.
"Yeo Chia Yuan"
I looked up from my slouch.
And walked towards the counter.
"this is it," I thought.
So i was informed on what to do and all and walked it. Heck I didn't even know which computer I was supposed to go to. Then at that very instance one of the registration man passed the room and I quickly stopped him. He told me to look at the number that was given. He didn't seem irrirated. I think he is used to it.
I sat at the computer I was allocated to.
They somehow put the 2 malay frens together. How zzz. And put me far away at a corner.
I saw the screen. Was supposed to key my IC in. I jsut wanna finish it quick and get it over with and walked out asap after I fail and get wrong for the test.
To my desperation, I keyed in my IC wrongly. I tried to backspace. Nothing happened.
ZZZ. I was panicking. I walked out of the room and called him. He quickly say go in and I will go there! They msut be thinking how troublesoem this boy is.
When I went it. I finally saw the Backspace function.
-___________-
Sigh. Then he came in and deleted my whole IC. I have to pretend I don't know.
Sigh. What bad impression I gave. And to think I will fail the colorblind test sure make them think of me even lower.
So the test started..
Ujian Rabun Warna.. Kalau gagal bla bla bla doktor bla bla bla.
Okla! How many times must they emphasize it.
Then it started. The bloody colored dots thing.
First question. Was quite confident. Can see abit. Ok choose closest.
2nd. I saw a ball. No square. Quickly choose the square and ball answer as I saw this in a book before. 3rd question. Didnt know if it was 45 or 46. Choose 45 as it look like it closest. 4th Question. Can see abit of number. Choose closest. 5 Dotted question. Can't see anything. But diagram was very familiar. Choose 3 which I thought was the answer of it I saw in the book before.
Then they came out one big red circle and asked me what color was it. And then green. -__-
They asked me if I wanted to check my answers or end that test.
I ended it.
Tahniah! Anda lulus dalam Ujian Buta Warna.
8/8
Huh.
What
in
the
name
of.
What
The?
HECK?!!!!!!!
-___________-!
?????
I was. Like. Huh?
This is not it!
I was supposed to fail and get mistakes and walk out of that room!!!
But it didn't happen.
Another half of me was feeling like ,"omg u passed. just try to pass Undang now"
The vision test was super easy. I passed it too.
Then came the 50 questions.
WHICH I WAS NOT READY AT ALL.
THE LAST TIME I DID 100+ QUESTIONS OUT OF THE 500 QUESTIOSN BOOK WAS LIKE a year ago.
DIDNT EVEN FINSIH THE BOOK.
I DONT KNOW ANYTHING.
To cut things short,
I found the test to be incredibly tough and unfair.
They asked me some injap minyak question. And some motosikal question.
How the heck do I know.
And some road sign questions which I never saw before.
I spent so long for that test. I didn't even think I would be sitting for it that very instance. But I did.
And when I clicked Tamat Ujian finally.
A big 78% appeared on the screen.
Anda telah gagal Ujian Undang or whatever.
.............
What a freaking dumbass.
Honestly I felt so LOW that time.
I know I wasn't even ready.
But still I felt VERY LOW.
I was so close yet so far.
I finsihed the color test.
But why. I didn't even plan to take the 50 questions test.
Why. So near. Now I gotta call the instructor again and inform my frens.
And to sit for the undang exam again is just so troublesome.
Why.
My instructor alraedy called and booked the resit for tomorrow.
I gonna try to do the 500 questions later.
They said 2nd time no need sit for color test.
Why does everything seemed like they are playing me.
I got 39/50 in case u are wondering. 42 passing mark.
I got the lowest I think in my group of frens.
I'm blogging at Inferno now a cyber cafe in SS15. I walked there, waiting for my transport to arrive. Still waiting now. I gotta go back to the centre later to tell them about me going back tomorrow. Feeling nervous about it alraedy. What if I really did fail again or something. The embarassment.
Aih.
I
feel
so
confused
now
and
have
mixed
feelings.
Aih.
=(
-alexeO-
Friday, March 03, 2006
My life so far
I'm gonna sit for Undang tomorrow to fail it. Woohoo!
I'm thinking whether I should go and tell them straight I need a form or fail it first.
I think i'll fail it first. It'll be interesting to see how the test continues if I get a question wrong.. :D
Spec Maths CT1 was a bitch. Remember my post saying if it's over 50 i'll get negative 13? Trust me. My real marks isnt really far from that.
I duno how man. Half-giving up on it already. Planning to concentrate more on IT, maths,esl,phy from now on.
What the F was I thinking choosing that subject anyway?
Feeling slight regrets now.
Spec maths lecturer can be seen lost all hopes on me.
How.
Sad.
-alexeO-
I'm gonna sit for Undang tomorrow to fail it. Woohoo!
I'm thinking whether I should go and tell them straight I need a form or fail it first.
I think i'll fail it first. It'll be interesting to see how the test continues if I get a question wrong.. :D
Spec Maths CT1 was a bitch. Remember my post saying if it's over 50 i'll get negative 13? Trust me. My real marks isnt really far from that.
I duno how man. Half-giving up on it already. Planning to concentrate more on IT, maths,esl,phy from now on.
What the F was I thinking choosing that subject anyway?
Feeling slight regrets now.
Spec maths lecturer can be seen lost all hopes on me.
How.
Sad.
-alexeO-
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Look into my window
Got this from James' Blog.
Pretty fun. Click here to try it out. Honest answers only pls. Don't spoil my window. :D
On the other hand, this is my Clan NtL's forum!
Links frenzy O.o
-alexeO-
Got this from James' Blog.
Arena(known to self and others) friendly, observant, sentimental, shy, warm | Blind Spot(known only to others) accepting, brave, cheerful, clever, complex, energetic, extroverted, happy, introverted, logical, loving, mature, modest, nervous, patient, proud, quiet, reflective, relaxed, searching, self-conscious, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, witty |
Façade(known only to self)
| Unknown(known to nobody) able, adaptable, bold, calm, caring, confident, dependable, dignified, giving, helpful, idealistic, independent, ingenious, intelligent, kind, knowledgeable, organised, powerful, religious, responsive, self-assertive, sensible, wise |
Dominant Traits
66% of people agree that alexeo is shy
All Percentages
able (0%) accepting (11%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (11%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (22%) clever (22%) complex (22%) confident (0%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (11%) extroverted (11%) friendly (44%) giving (0%) happy (11%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (0%) introverted (11%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (11%) loving (11%) mature (11%) modest (11%) nervous (33%) observant (11%) organised (0%) patient (11%) powerful (0%) proud (22%) quiet (22%) reflective (11%) relaxed (22%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (11%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (11%) sensible (0%) sentimental (11%) shy (66%) silly (22%) spontaneous (11%) sympathetic (11%) tense (22%) trustworthy (11%) warm (11%) wise (0%) witty (22%)
Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 1.3.2006, using data from 9 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view alexeo's full data.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view alexeo's full data.
Pretty fun. Click here to try it out. Honest answers only pls. Don't spoil my window. :D
On the other hand, this is my Clan NtL's forum!
Links frenzy O.o
-alexeO-
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