Rollercoaster

I hate having to ride the rollercoaster of emotions especially when it comes at the most unexpected and weirdest of times.

Super uncalled for. I hate it hate it hate it HATE IT!!!

THIS IS THE TIME WHEN I SHOULD BE CHILLING MY ASS OFF WITHOUT HAVING TO BE INVOLVED IN ANY WHIRLWIND OF EMOTIONS WHATSOEVER.

It's not like it's engulfing my life as I am typing this. I still get my chilling time and all but I am not liking and appreciating this heartwrenching feeling at all. Not one little bit.

I want to go back to Penang. I want to spend time with good company. I want to escape as long as I possibly can. Coming back to KL is like coming back to my problems. The problems that I so happily left behind. But now I'm reluctantly back and it's overpowering and consuming meeeeeeeeeee slowly inside out. :(

I want everything good in this world. I don't want anything good to end. I want a stress-free life. I don't want to feel any uncomfortable feeling ever in my life.

For some reason, this, to me doesn't seem to have the makings of a great holiday at all. For some reason, this long break, to me might actually be unhelpfully untimely.

I need something to distract me from the sh*thole I'm in.

I need to stop being sensitive, clingy, and unappreciative.

I need to stop whining, reminiscing, and start feeling better about the world around me.

I thought I have grown out of this but apparently not. It feels a little different now though, and it's worst because it actually feels like my uneasiness now is justified for some reason.

If this is going to be the same feeling I'll feel for the next 4 months, goodbye sanity.


p/s: I am NOT thinking too much. I'm thinking just right.



-alexeO-