alexeO v.06

Another week of college begins tomorrow. Sigh.
It's like this clock which keeps ticking.. leaving you behind if you slack a little.
It just goes and goes.. if you don't catch up, that's your problem.

Soon enuff.. I may just be lost in this wheel of time.
I'm trying not to. But there's this force which is pulling me behind. Hard.
My other half. The lazy Alex half.

To simplify things, I have not yet done the work which I was supposed to do.
And classes start very soon. I feel like I just got dismembered by the Butcher from DotA. Sigh again.

My driving instructor hasn't called back. As expected. What a fag.

I realised something on my bed last night.
As I was blanketing myself, I thought of the reasons why I find it hard to adapt so easily to new surroundings.
I realised that, I am very very picky when it comes to situations.
It's like..
Ppl can accept another person easier than i do. For example, during this random grouping presentation thingy I had for ESL class, there was this guy who doesn't really know what Reality TV is and english was kinda on the weak side. But this other guy, who seems to be fluent in english and know as much or more than me.. just listened and corrected him as if it wasn't his fault or something and went on with the discussion without a single look of disgust or without an insulting tone.

I mean.
Huh?

I feel so bad. I was like.. half heartedly pitying that fella on why was he such lowly exposed, giggling deep down inside me. But this other guy I mentioned.. just accepted it so.. like nothing at all.

I realised I've been an asshole throughout my whole life. Who am I to judge ppl anyway? I discriminate ppl. I criticise ppl. I insult them.
And all this while I thought I was doing it because EVERYONE does it.
But that's not true. It was only me. It's not like I say it out.. I just think to myself deep inside.. However, the fact still remains that...

I'm an ass.

No wonder I have problems with my transportation everyday. I have received the punishment I deserve. Sigh. I am really sorry to the ones I felt that way to.
You guys dont know who you are. Thank God for that.

I went for my haircut finally just now.
I didn't cut it alot. Trimmed a little.
Shit. Dad may diu me later. He loves seeing my hair short.
But it's not. I know he wouldn't be happy.
And he's in the room beside me now.
How how how.
Meeting him for dinner later. Gotta play the ignoring game later and just smile at his remarks.
Especially now that I've..


*drum beats*
..dyed my hair.

yes i did.
it would be easier to show pics.
since pictures show a thousand words anyway.







I love it. :)

-alexeO-