My new beginnings

I am no more free from academics.
I am no more free to do anything I please.
I am back as a student as I once was.

I have reincarnated.

I am now, a college student.

Woah. Pretty gay thinking of the idea that I'm attached to education once again. From Dec 2nd, I had officially ended my formal education which will only continue if I enroll for a certain higher education. And yea, I just came back from doing that.

I have enrolled into the SAM programme at Taylors College.
If you miss me, pls see me there.
The timetable sucks. The hours are longer than school hours.
I can imagine the 'hectic-ness' of this.
I don't like this feeling.

Like I told my friends, I'm not looking forward for college life at all.
It's like entering a new school. And besides, probably EVERYONE in my class could drive already. And me? I just took one Undang Seminar. That's it.
It sucks.

And shit. I forgot to tick my medical problem too. I just remembered. The had a section for colourblindness. And I didn't tick that. I just remembered. Die.
I'm gonna make it a point to tell them during Orientation Day.
Sigh.
I'm such an incomplete person.

And also, my self esteem cannot be any lower at this point. Not only am I an incomplete person, I'm also a dumb person. I didn't even meet the minimum requirement for Specialist Mathematics. It sucks. It requires you to have a C5 for Add Maths at least. But my forecast shows C6. And I thought a credit will do. They never mentioned it at all.

When I showed my forecast to the lady who was helping me, she was already advicing me. I just made every subject borderline. I have to work very hard. Especially for Specialist Mathematics which thankfully they let me take that subject.
Hey, I'm not that all sucky in Add Maths okay? I know my results show otherwise. But seriously. I could understand everything and do everything in class.
ARgh.

And I'm not that dumb either. I know I achieved Cs for ALL my science subjects. But who the heck cares. U need at least a C6 for physics, I got a C5. =)
Btw, I'm doing the Computer Engineering/Science group of subjects. So screw Chem and Bio. I don't need you anymore. Bwahahaha. My subjects are:-

English
Maths
Specialist Maths
Physics
IT studies

They also had a Chemistry subject for this stream. U are supposed to choose 2 out of Chem, Phy and IT. But OMG? I'm definitely not touching Chem in my life anymore.
So I dropped it.
And I'm gonna take IT. I've never taken IT in my life.. but I'm gonna see how is it gonna work now. I hope I can manage. I should be able to.
And physics? I was one of them Ariff said not to touch physics anymore when I leave school. But _|_ I'm doing it. I like physics. I think I can do it too.

So SAM requires consistent work throughout the year.
And guess what?
I'm gonna do just that.
College life is the perfect time for me to turn over a new leaf.
And education is getting serious now.
So stfu bad influences. I'm not gonna listen to ya.

It's not a cheap course. And I know that. So I won't be trying to waste my parents money.

I still am not looking forward for college life.
I am not looking forward for the 'new-school' environment.
And the troubles of waking up so early. And not even driving myself.
As of now, I still have no transport whatsoever.

This sucks.
I want to drive so badly.
But i'm colorblind. And I dunno the right procedure to pass the undang test.

And the fear of driving a manual car.
So many things bothering me.

And I am having thoughts of not achieving more than C5 for Add Maths for my real SPM. The lady asked me just now if I think I could score better for my real SPM for add maths. I said yea. What if I don't? Will they pull me out? Won't that be uber embarassing?

I hate all of this.

-alexeO-