Glutton & Insecurities

I'm such a glutton I feel sick =(

People sometimes wonder why I'm 'rounder' than most of my friends who eat more than me and I have to admit I sometimes feel that way too. *cuts wrist

But today confirms it all!

Well it could also be the lower activity rate as compared to my friends but I personally think it's more to the amount I could and would gobble up at times. I might not feel hungry at all but if I have a craving for a certain something, let's say, McD or maggi mee goreng, I would order and eat it regardless of whether I'm full at that time or not.

Then I would struggle to finish it but I will also feel at that particular point that not eating it is such a waste that I would force myself bite by bite to gobble down the food.

This, coming from a guy who is happy eating one meal day is significant.

I just need to NOT think of food now at random times.. that's it..

Oh oh and I received my offer letter today! It simply means that I can now legally transfer to the Monash campus in Australia.

Like finally la. Damn slow the faculty zzz.

I dunno what to feel to be honest. I feel exactly the same as before I got the letter. The pieces just moved about and switched places a little bit here and there but the overruling plot remains the same. Part of me wants to stay part of me tells me staying isn't even an option anymore.

Ok I'm going to be frank here.

I am freaking out and feeling crazily paranoid over my new life there.

No it isn't so much the staying alone, cleaning the house, cooking for self, doing laundry thing.

It is... the virtually nonexistent social circles I have there. This has always been my bane and worst fear ever since I left school. But at least in college there were some schoolmates; despite being in different classes we still managed to meet during our breaks early in the year when we first started.

At least in uni there were a few people from college and school that now despite being in different courses, we got to meet after classes and the occasional break sometimes.

And at least in BOTH the situations above, it all happened in comfortable, safe, secure, and most importantly, LOCAL.. Malaysia!

Now the plot thickens to a whole new level and I'll be going to some ang moh land and I'll be going to be the new kid and I'm freaking out zomggggggg.

I know there are a considerable amount of international students there as well but I'm more than sure by now they all have established cliques and comfortable social circles that I am going to have to struggle to be apart of. Sux.

Only because I'm going in as a 3rd year International student, that's why it is that baaaad. It wouldn't be that bad if I had someone from the Monash campus here in Msia going with me to the same campus taking all the same units with me but I do not have that luxury unfortunately.

There are people from the Msian campus going there next year as well but they are either going to another of the many Monash campuses in Melbourne or will be taking a different set of subjects altogether.

AHHHHHHHHHH!

Being anti-social definitely has something to do with it but it is not ALL about it I assure you.

I guess I can only take it as a practice for the working world in the future.

Then again, I'm only speaking from paranoid speculations and thinking of the worst that could happen.

Going in as 3rd year student... ang moh land.. malaysians and other international students knowing each other beforehand... in a course where you have to talk to score... final year before graduation... living alone...

=(

Advices please, anyone?



-alexeO-