Conversation with K

*

I self-inflicted myself

and it hurts so badly now

and I can't turn back time

and the fact that I have to do so much more

under so much pain

is almost unbearable.

*

Why do I have to be tougher than others now

cause I self-inflicted myself

why did I do that

cause I'm stupid

and ignorant

and lousy

and a failure to myself

and to everyone around me.


*

but I deserve it

I made a promise to myself

and the people around me

that I will not repeat what I did last sem

but it's just so difficult

and the longer i prolong it

the more painful my suffering become

and the harder it is to do.

*

It's almost poetic.

It's not just about the assignments. It's how I cannot muster enough strength to be responsible enough, to be disciplined enough. Guess I will not really grow up and break out of the shell until I find a way around this obstacle.

It's almost poetic. My pain, that's what.



-alexeO-