Can anyone have an internet conversation these days...


...without having the word 'lol' somewhere in the conversation?


I can't.


-alexeO-

My Birthday Yesterday

28th of November is my birthday.
and that date was fortunately yesterday. Actually yesterday in the sense 55 mins ago as I'm typing this. lawl.

:)

I was actually somewhat 'afraid' for it to come because I was scared I will be spoiling the whole eighteen birthday big wuhoo thing because I had nothing planned and was fearing for it to be a boring, lonely birthday. Well it wasn't the fabulous party or anything but I did have fun. And I am completely and sincerely moved too by some wishes from people I never expected to get.


Thx guys!

I shall be more specific because they deserve it. :D

Special thanks to,
MUM, DAD, for being the first ones to wish me!!

Also, to
SISTERS for calling me from whereever they were after that!

and
BROTHER for calling me all the way from the UK!

Not forgetting,
NICK CHEONG for actually taking the time to edit my clan channel's Message of the Day to "Happy Birthday Chieftain!!" which certainly surprised me in a very good way. :)

and

CHRISANNE OH for being the first friend to actually call me!

To,
VIVIAN LOW for being the FIRST friend to SMS me a birthday greeting!

Also,
to my Aunt Jolene for SMS-ing me too!

And,
AMY TAN, KELVIN TAN, HUEY SHYAN FROM AUSTRALIA, CEZLYNN, MICHAEL TAN, KK, HARIS, TECK KUAN, TECK ENG, JANICE FROM AUSTRALIA, all for SMS-ing me!

Also to..
CARRIE, SUSAN, WILSON, SHAZA, SARAH, LING, MUN SHAN, BENJAMIN

and,
my T1 wild classmates, ANN, FRANCIS, MANDOF, MANWHORE,

all for their testimonials on friendster!

To also,
JAMES, SANDRA, ATIF, UNCLE HARRISON FROM SG, W.SHENG, NIMI GOH, CHRISTINE, KIM LIM(the first one on msn to wish me), PAIK SENG, ABIGAIL,
for their messages on Live Messenger!

Special special thanks to,
JOYCE NG FROM MELBOURNE BUT CURRENTLY IN KL for actually sacrificing a blog post at her blog for me!

WOW.
I never thought I had THAT many friends.
And I thought I was a lonely kid.
If i missed out anyone,
I'm so sorry! but thanks!!

I really really appreciate all those wishes.
Makes me all ready and geared up to be 18!

Bwahahahaha.

Once again,
THANK U!

Even to those who had forgotten or somehow are just not people who 'wish' other ppl. But I know wat you wanna tell me anyway. Tee-Hee.

TX!


-alexeO-

A lost boy

I think rite.. I need to get 'fixed' loh.

Everyday sleeping at 6am and waking up 12 hours later at 6pm isn't really healthy lah. Not that I am purposely doing it but that's the clock I set all thanks to the stupid exam period. The stupid exam period which also made me damn fat and heavy lor. Damn hard to try to reverse my clock back to normal leh. Zzz. If i go to bed at 12am suddenly, means I only stay awake for 6 hours?!! Abit wrong rite. Want to sleep also cannot lah. Will toss and turn until 6am which is the same thing again. And also, if want to wake up early also feel super tired. Waking up at 10 means 4 hrs of sleep. 4 hours of sleep isn't enough lah. Haih.

Damn confused and lost lah.
Duno wat to do.
I want to start on my personal project as soon as possible.
This stupid newly developed habit of mine is spoiling it all.

Summore my sister gave me 1 week period to get started on my project. Coz she wants to see me do something. Not wasting my holiday sleeping at 6am, waking up at 6pm. If after 1 week still got no progress, I'm gonna have to work lah! I dowan! I still cannot make up my mind what I wanna 'write' on. Probably I'll start with a fictional story first. But I think a biography of myself will be easier. :) I think my life can be pretty interesting wat. Zzz. I think I won't do poetry la. Too many bombastic words and vocab needed. I gonna design a logo for my company also. Hehe. Don't laugh lah. It's good to think highly wat.

Haven't even applied for universities. Really goner la me. I scared if I really can make it into those australian uni.. happy la of coz.. But the fact that I'm gonna leave like in 2 months time is scaring me leh. Other ppl got like 1 year to prepare themself mentally.. I feel like abit rush loh for me. :|

I also duno why this post has alot of 'lahs' and 'leh' la.
Maybe more comfortable talking like this le.

Dun care la. Someone help me. I'm a lost boy!
Waiting for results only now.. Haih. Gonna go to my college's placement centre to enquire a few stuff soon. :/



Me. A uni boy.
Hmmm.
Damn not-lookalike loh!

-alexeO-

Not.

I always thought one would feel best after his or her final examinations.
After UPSR, great.
After PMR, great.
After SPM, great.

After SAM Finals? Not so great.

I really don't know.

My exams have ended but I just keep thinking about the papers I did.. ranging from Specialist Maths to ESL on the very first day.

I keep thinking how badly I think I had done for my Spec Maths where most people found it "okay" and "easier than past years" which I beg to differ.
I keep thinking about ESL because that is the only subject I can score which hopefully be able to pull up my shit total marks. But it wasn't great I feel. How much 'crap' I had written. How 'rushed' my letter was. How bad my handwriting was. How will it all affect the examiners.

Same goes to the other 3 subjects.

I am so worried.

Ironically when I arrived home just now, my grandmother looked even more happier than me.
Being a former teacher, she really wants each and every of her grandchildren to know the signficance of examinations. It's like the ultimate thing in education life for her.
So she was smiling and all and asking me whether I was relieved or not.
With an invisible shrug, I just said Yah..
But inside me, I was doubting myself all the way.

Because honestly, call me a liar whatsoever,
I am not relieved.
Not a single bit.
No relief person will keep thinking back about the papers he did.

It's not as simple as thinking whether you had done enough or not.
It's thinking to the extent that I am figuring out for EVERY single question I can remember. Whether it was sufficient to gather marks.

You see, my South Australian Matriculation Pre-U Program works like this. Each subject will be tabulated to over 20. C13,B14,B15,B16,A17,A18.. for example, A20 being the max. Then somehow or rather(it is not just simple addition for the 5 subjects), i will get a TER(Tertiary Entrance Rank) where it is over 100. That TER is wat determines the entry requirements for the courses in University.

And that haunts me because,
I don't think I am gonna get a good TER.
Which is equally humiliating both from the public opinion side and the personal side.

A course which interests me in the University of Melbourne has a TER requirement of a minimum 83.
It may be low for some but to be honest, I would be happy with an 83 and above TER.

But what if I don't achieve it?
I don't think a TER of 83 and above is possible with a D10 for Spec Maths. And that is what I think I will get. Even my Spec Maths lecturer forecasted that.
What about Physics? I was always below average. I know the scores for each subject is moderated.. not as simple as just marking the final paper and tada.. ur marks. No. It will be compared to the entire group and moderated accordingly.

But it doesn't matter anyway.
Because I am below average for both spec maths and physics.

And if I really don't get a TER of 83 and above,
not only it is a huge blow to my confidence and future ambitions,
but it also a significant blow to my reputation.

Not fame-wise, but more to 'what-people-may-think-wise'.
To not be able to score a 80 and above TER is as simple as humiliating. And that sucks.
Especially when you start asking each other 'what did u get', 'what did u get' and they all announce proudly their high double digit marks.

As far as I know,
no one I know.. not a single senior, has a TER of 83 and below.
My sister's friends... however intelligent or average they were, achieved relatively high TER. My brother, who took SAM scored 90++.

Then why should I be worried if everyone scored so high?
BECAUSE,
every year, the percentage of people scoring 80% and above is only around 20-40%.
And to think,
I am not(at least I dont think I am).
In the top 20-40% of SAM.
Really worries me.

I don't know what happened last time when people I know scored relatively good marks but I only care about how I did myself now.

And that simple logic is why,
I cannot be relieved that my exams are over.
I just will keep thinking about it again, and again, and again, question to question,

Until it finally decides to go away by itself.
Which I hope is very soon.


Is it too late to start praying?
-alexeO-

I feel.. free

Exams over 30 mins ago.
Not any ordinary exams.

It's the FINAL exams.

and it's over.

but strangely,
I don't feel too happy like any normal being would.

I think it's because of the last paper I had. :/
:(

OH well.
I'm so free I don't know what to do now.

Confusion in life X200
gg.

-alexeO-

Time and Tide waits for no man

It's 2:43AM as i'm typing this.
It just turned Tuesday.
I have one final paper for my finals this Friday.

and..


I'm soooooooooooooooo BOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
:(


-alexeO-

:|

I really don't want to but...

I THINK I MAY BE FALLING FOR ANOTHER BLOGSITE!

I created a blog in Wordpress because I'm amazed at how neat Wordpress blogs are and I wanted to try one of my own..

After a few navigation in the dashboard, I realised it is indeed very neat and organised. And I may just be interested in getting used to it.

Nooooo. I can't move on! I duno wat to do. So I guess I'll just have both up now.

Oh yah. the link is http://alexycy.wordpress.com

Typical. -_-
I know.
Have fun!



Btw, 3 down, 2 papers to go!!!!~~~
-alexeO-

Late, again.

I know I have an infamous reputation for being late. But I like to blame it on my blood. :) It's in the genes man. My family members, whether unintentional or not.. will often be late for our own respective events. The only time when we're not late is when we actually are together. I guess too much negative energy will turn positive. :)

So anyway,
YESTERDAY,

I heard the tune of What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey playing melodiously from my handphone.
Wondering who might call at such wee hours in the morning, I looked at my phone and noticed a House number. Because it was not a mobile phone number, I picked up the call thinking the chances of it being a prank call is lesser.

"Heloo...?" I said, tired-ly.


"Do you have exams now?"

*'how rude,' I thought to myself. not even a hello. and who the heck is that anyway*

"Hello?" I repeated.


"Do you have a Physics exam now?" the mysterious lady said.

"Hello who's this?!" (already very curious and at that point of time I'm wondering if it is indeed a prank call. By Hitz.Fm perhaps? :p)


"You have a physics paper now rite? Your paper has started already"

"Huh?" *I look at the clock from my handphone. I was so tired I could not figure out what the analog clock displayed. 5am perhaps?

"What time is it now??" I asked rather stupidly.


"Your paper has started already. Where do you stay?"

It was frustrating to know that the lady, whoever it was does not reply to my questions. It was equally as frustrating to know that, MY FREAKING PHYSICS PAPER HAS ALREADY BEGUN AND I WAS ABOUT TO MISS IT.

"fark." I thought to myself.

I then proceeded to reply, "Shah Alam.. oh shit"


"You didn't know you have a paper at this time?" the lady asked with a weird tone, sounding as if she was inside thinking what kind of lousy, care-about-nothing student this is.

"Oh shit.. will I get extra time when I arrive??" I asked rather weirdly, knowing the answer was obvious. But I guess it was just the blur-morning me.


"er.. no?"

The lady then proceeded to speak in cantonese with another lady in the background.

She then came back to me and said, "No you won't get extra time.. but please make it within 30 minutes or you will not be allowed in.."

"oh.. thank you!"


"yeah.." I could actually imagine in my head how her eyes were rolling.

I immediately jumped out of my bed and rushed to wake my sister up who was supposed to fetch me. She sounded equally shocked too.

I am someone who cannot wake up without taking a shower.
So I had the quickest shower of my life.
I also had the quickest brushing of my teeth in my life.
I even had the quickest putting on of clothes in my life.

I didn't care about hygiene then. I just wanted to arrive and sit for the bloody paper and go home.

So my initial plan of having some 'last-minute-revision' was completely destroyed by my panicky behaviour in the car.

I arrived at the college at 7.15am. "Still got time!" I thought to myself.

I walked quickly as hell because I know I cannot run.
Luckily I made an initiative to check the venue of my exam earlier.

It was also bitchy that my exam was so happened in the freaking 4th floor.
My usual 'very-tired-when-arrived-on-the-4th-floor' was not visible. I was more worried about sitting for the paper on time. And maybe completing it too.

As I was at the corridor heading to the classroom, a lecturer was seen sitting outside.
She looked at me and asked, "Yeo?"

"YES!"

"That classroom.."she pointed out.

I walked towards a door and asked her back, "this one?"

"No. The other door."

"OKAY THANK YOU"

I then opened the door and saw an entire classroom of students already working with their calculators; calculating the final momentum of some ball perhaps.

Another 40-something lady lecturer was there, and she led me to my table.
On my way, I clumsily hit a chair. The lecturer just smiled. She then was beside my table, instructing me on the rules.. and the common protocol.. very softly.
She kept comforting me because she obviously knew I was panicking like a mad donkey.
I must say, her cool smile really made me feel much better.

15minutes into the exam, that very lady went towards my table and left a plastic mineral water on my table. And then patted my back twice.

OMG. So nice!
I must resemble her son or something. ><
Seriously,
WAT A NICE LADY.

I ended finishing the paper on time.
It was not like I could answer everything anyway. So I basically could do all I can and had time to crapped some answers.

When the lecturer was collecting the papers,
she 'ironically' warned us about not being late for this Thursday's paper because there would be many students bla bla bla.
I did not want to look anywhere else because I know there definitely will be some eyes laying on me.
-_-

I walked out of the classroom saying "thank you" to her. "You were very lucky~" she replied.

I was never late for a major examination before in my entire life and I guess it is better than never.

Surely now I will be more careful to be punctual during examinations.. I guess.
I oughta be.


2 down, 3 papers to go.
-alexeO-