How annoying can the world be? Is education over-rated? Y must every single person in the world excel in everything they do? How significant is a straight A result? What happens if you fail in your education? What else do you lose besides a good name? Why will someone ruin their reputation if their respective examination results are below par? Once again, how annyoning can the world be?
Is it just me, or have i not know the truly significance of it yet? Is this what an 'immature' person would think? I'm honestly not sure. Please care to explain it to me. I'm stressed out. I want to be left alone.
I hate the state of life i'm in right now.
Sandwiched between the pressure of getting good results and my personal problems, the world i'm living in right now is really heading nowhere. I do something for a reason which i do not know what, I live a life that has no direction or any sort of goal. I try to live and enjoy my life individually and seperately day by day , not thinking of the long gone past or the future..but ppl tells me that is wrong. I worry each day about my grades and problems with my mind wandering about in the future and the past..but ppl tells me that is wrong.
I'm lost and confused. Like a little blind mice. At least the 3 blind mice had company. I'm alone in this.
My everchanging ambition is the only thing i'm depending on now. Currently i'm very very interested to be involved in Designing. Whatever sort of designing course i may pursue, i know i'll still have lots of fun and enjoy it. Besides, my creativity isn't that bad too. I still can picture objects in my head and know how to bring the effect out of something. And i guess that's something.
Because of that simple reason, i am gonna work my butt off for my SPM examinations later this year. I'm no engineer or doctor, i just don't have the brains and determination for it. I'm lazy, i do not know why. My discipline is horrible, must be badly trained in school from young. My memory is the worst you can find, again i do not know why. My personality is too carefree, once again got something to do with my low level of discipline. I'm beating around the bush again, and this post is heading nowhere. If you got any advice, i need it. Thx.
Ah, so the SPM results collection was on last Thurs if i'm not mistaken. My seniors who mostly now are already in their colleges came back to SSC for their results. As soon as one arrive, the whole bunch suddenly swarmed it. Suddenly the school's office was flooded with ex-cahayians who wanted to collect their result slip. Many were approached by my schoolmates, many greetings were exchanged, smiles were of a plentiful, congratulations were made and i noticed no tears. Maybe i missed it or something but i certainly didn't see anyone crying whether for joy or sadness.
So the results of my old frens were passed on by word of mouth from one to another and i got to know some of my old buddies results. I was pleasingly shocked by some of the results in a good way and was quite surprised at some of the results i saw in a slightly less better way. =)
As the day went by, I was at a point sitting alone thinking to myself... Next year, it'll be my turn. I began picturing my friends in their home clothes coming one by one and saying things like "hi, long time no c"..."how have u been doing"..etc. I was thinking bout what i would get and how i would react to the results. I see some of my friends screaming for joy whilst others crumbles under the pressure. Some were very disappointed by the corner and i was yet to collect my result slip. All i thought that time was a disappointing result and i just couldn't think of a fantastic result that would make me happy. I actually felt the sadness in me. The disappointment. The hopes that people put on me crushed.
After a long while of thinking, i began to try and think of what will happen if i managed a good result somehow. The happiness. The joy.
And i want that feeling. I want to feel happy. I want to keep the hopes of my family and friends alive. And for that, i'll work hard. I'll try to work towards achieving my goal. I really really want to be happy. I want to have tears of joy on that very day, not sadness. I want to be proud of myself. I want to finally achieve something in life. I want people to look up to me. I crave for that feeling that i imagined about. The very feeling i felt in December 2003 when i collected my PMR results Slip.
My emotions do whirlwinds in me everytime i think of it.
My mindset is changing as i type this post... this is confusing. Something is pulling me to it yet something is pushing me back.
Pls. Someone guide me. I really really want to do it. But i just ..... :(
To change the subject and end this pointless topic, i recently did some quiz thing to know what kind of person u are, bla bla bla... so here are my results! I did the Nerd Quiz and the Loser quiz and i must say i got a result i'm satisfied with! :) Here it is!
Hahaha. I'm a cool guy.
After that i was damn bored so i surfed around the site looking for other quizzes and i found this. Damn, this was a close call but yet.. :D
~_~
I feel better now.
Jaralodakebauryukateebona!
-alexeO-
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