I haven't been blogging because I spent the last few weeks cramming for several assignments which I have to say, I am extremely proud of completing. My most welcomed "mid-semester" break finally came last week at week 11 out of a total of 13 for this semester. Before the break even started, I told a friend of mine I had a feeling it would end rather quickly and so it has. After this week, it's more hardcore cramming for 2-3 more times and if everything goes accordingly, two exams should be the very last assessments I have for... like ever.
I really want to graduate this semester. Despite not knowing what lies ahead next year and so on, I really want to get this phase over with asap. It doesn't help when the lecturer for this subject I'm most afraid of keeps threatening of failing students last year. It is worst when he keeps mentioning some "not-to-dos" in class without mentioning names and I keep 'terasa'-ing every single time he does that. I can only hope that he has some compassion in him, isn't xenophobic, and think of my situation as an international student in his last semester who really really needs to graduate at all costs.
One obvious dilemma I'm facing now is the choice of staying in Melbourne next year or not. My heart tells me I probably should stay but I also do not want to stay for nothing. I need to have something to do. Postgrad seems unlikely not only because I'm sick of scouring books after books journals after journals and write a long tedious essay but I also don't see where that path can lead me to in the future. Even if postgrad becomes a viable option, it will have to be something more generally accepted and recognised like a MBA or something like that.
I might also want to do a short course like in photography or something but so far, none of the things I've looked at interests me. They are either too short, of a different scope, or doesn't have a strong prospect in the working world.
If I decide to work, Malaysia seem to be the more likely place I would end up next year. As much as I love to, as much as the income here is far superior, competitively, I don't think I can be as good as the locals here especially in my field. Simply put, not very confident at all. Praveen is right when he used the word "Jaguh Kampung" to describe people like me. That's what most of us my friends are (admittedly so). That's what I am.
I guess one other option would be taking a break from everything just to slightly calm down and think about my future during that time. A short break, ranging from 3-6 months, where I can do the odd job like part timing or internships, either in Melb or Msia, and properly think about what I would like to really do in the future. I can even take a really short course in some language or something during that time. Looking at it now, Msia seems the more viable place to take such a 'break' financial-wise, but if there's a good 'part-time' thingy I can do in Melb, why not right?
For now though, I'll have to shelve all these thoughts aside temporarily until at least after the 13th of November which is the date for my final paper in my whole studying career. Can't wait for that day. On a relevant sidenote, I don't think I can ask for anymore out of my time here in Melbourne. But that's another topic for another day.
Final push up next.
-alexeO-
No comments:
Post a Comment