To Another Friend

So what we got out of Monash came in handy afterall. Haha.

Happy 21st Birthday Karina.



-alexeO-

To A Friend

Dear Eng Sze Jia,




While I do admit how I sometimes feel awkward when you occasionally tower over me,




While I do admit how I sometimes feel annoyed when you continue to smile widely even when I specifically told you not to,




While I do admit how I sometimes feel bewildered when 8/10 photos taken with flash you'd have your eyes wide shut,




They all become insignificant to what you can actually offer to the people around you. You know, I know lah.




Now to end with the epitome of cliche-ness, remember, "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."



Wishing you a very very happy 21st birthday.

Here's to epitome-ness, spawn-ness, epiphany-ness, reachedout-ness, and this incredibly geli-fying corny blog post.

Remember to invite me to your Korean-themed wedding with some Korean dude.





-alexeO-

Human Race

As I was boarding the tram, two inspectors stepped out. One went back in immediately and tried to get a passenger, who was Asian and looked about my age to presumably follow the inspectors and step out of the tram. The moment I stepped foot on the tram, the Asian man started rushing out of it and attempted to make a run for it. The inspector got hold of the man's bag so he didn't get away. The tram then moved and three inspectors surrounding one particular defeated-looking Asian man was the last sight I saw at that stop.

Beside two giggling younger passengers, a medium-built man was draped in the Australian aboriginal flag standing on the tram's deck looking out of the automated folding doors in silence. "Telling me what to do in my own country.." I heard the man mumble. As I studied him interestingly, I learned that he spoke fluently and had a t-shirt on with the same flag - with the stripes and shape and colors - imprinted on it. He politely excused himself past me and took a seat behind me. All of a sudden, in a quieter than usual packed tram, the man suddenly raised his voice and spoke out in a more than audible tone, "white people, black people, the only race is the human race!" Unsurprisingly, the typical Melbourne tram filled with passengers from extremely diversed ethnic backgrounds started looking around for the source of the voice. Not only did the man didn't seem perturbed by the attention he suddenly received, he continued talking in what reminded me of some street preachers I saw before, but only this time about white people and races, I cannot really remember specifically. Right before I got off at my stop, he said something again to which I cannot recall unfortunately. But it was well-phrased and almost felt scripted, like it came out of a RPG game where you sometimes encounter characters muttering (or generating rather) random phrases and sentences on a consistent time-to-time basis.

A lady, seated not far from me, whom I noticed from before after the Asian man tried making a run and right before I overheard the random preaching man voicing his first statement was talking to a random passenger she did not know about spending 9 years jail-time or something along those lines when I first got on the tram. She was quiet as the man spoke.

Everyone was. All but the man and his echoing words.

A strange anecdote which occupied my mind throughout the whole walk home.



-alexeO-

Give me reason, but don't give me choice

February 13 2009, KLIA. The last time I stepped foot in Malaysia.

8 long months have passed since then. And in another two approximately, I would be back again. I cannot tell in words how much I am anticipating that day.

But at the same time, those same months in this new land have gave me so much and allowed me to experience even more. During my first two months here, I was certain that back home is where I would be heading after this particular episode comes to a close. Now, however, I cannot be as sure. 8 months seemed so short back home during all my years there but I'd never imagine how much can happen in that period of time when I'm here in Melbourne. And to think that I have another two to go.

As much as I'm missing home now, I know the day when I'm comfortably tugged under my bed back home in KL, I will be thinking so much of my year here that it shows the impossibility of the situation to make a decision without sacrificing one aspect of my life I really really cherish and hope to keep for a long long time.

Maybe I will someday eventually grow out of it, but of which do I choose to grow out of?

I don't think I'll ever make a choice till the last day. Someone, give me a reason.



-alexeO-

Motivation Proclamation

I haven't been blogging because I spent the last few weeks cramming for several assignments which I have to say, I am extremely proud of completing. My most welcomed "mid-semester" break finally came last week at week 11 out of a total of 13 for this semester. Before the break even started, I told a friend of mine I had a feeling it would end rather quickly and so it has. After this week, it's more hardcore cramming for 2-3 more times and if everything goes accordingly, two exams should be the very last assessments I have for... like ever.

I really want to graduate this semester. Despite not knowing what lies ahead next year and so on, I really want to get this phase over with asap. It doesn't help when the lecturer for this subject I'm most afraid of keeps threatening of failing students last year. It is worst when he keeps mentioning some "not-to-dos" in class without mentioning names and I keep 'terasa'-ing every single time he does that. I can only hope that he has some compassion in him, isn't xenophobic, and think of my situation as an international student in his last semester who really really needs to graduate at all costs.

One obvious dilemma I'm facing now is the choice of staying in Melbourne next year or not. My heart tells me I probably should stay but I also do not want to stay for nothing. I need to have something to do. Postgrad seems unlikely not only because I'm sick of scouring books after books journals after journals and write a long tedious essay but I also don't see where that path can lead me to in the future. Even if postgrad becomes a viable option, it will have to be something more generally accepted and recognised like a MBA or something like that.

I might also want to do a short course like in photography or something but so far, none of the things I've looked at interests me. They are either too short, of a different scope, or doesn't have a strong prospect in the working world.

If I decide to work, Malaysia seem to be the more likely place I would end up next year. As much as I love to, as much as the income here is far superior, competitively, I don't think I can be as good as the locals here especially in my field. Simply put, not very confident at all. Praveen is right when he used the word "Jaguh Kampung" to describe people like me. That's what most of us my friends are (admittedly so). That's what I am.

I guess one other option would be taking a break from everything just to slightly calm down and think about my future during that time. A short break, ranging from 3-6 months, where I can do the odd job like part timing or internships, either in Melb or Msia, and properly think about what I would like to really do in the future. I can even take a really short course in some language or something during that time. Looking at it now, Msia seems the more viable place to take such a 'break' financial-wise, but if there's a good 'part-time' thingy I can do in Melb, why not right?

For now though, I'll have to shelve all these thoughts aside temporarily until at least after the 13th of November which is the date for my final paper in my whole studying career. Can't wait for that day. On a relevant sidenote, I don't think I can ask for anymore out of my time here in Melbourne. But that's another topic for another day.

Final push up next.



-alexeO-