Lost Cause

2:32pm.

I just woke up from a strange dream which had me preparing dinner in Armadale while Karina was assisting me. I remember being scared of the fire and that I was preparing curry with potatoes. I remember contemplating using beef or chicken and that in the end, we used beef first then planned to put in the chicken later. Karina and I then fought over the cutting of the chicken and then I woke up.

Recently, I've been fighting for a lost cause. The difficult thing is, I do not seem to be fleeing from the battle but pushing on, in ways that I can, hoping that when I fight long enough, my perseverance would be rewarded in one way or another. But I know the outlook is grim. I know it's a lost cause. So unless I find that trigger to make me flee, all I'm doing now is wounding myself more each day, inflicting damage, and some maybe permanent scars.

To be honest, it isn't half as hurtful as it sounds. But there is the need to be dramatic so there you go. I just wish that I get what (I believe) I deserve sometimes.

Could I possibly be a very misunderstood boy? Perhaps. But then again everyone can say the same to a certain degree.

Because this post is verging on CRAZILY annoying, I shan't write anymore.

Ah, if only I can load back to my last saved game.



-alexeO-