Screwed

No one told me college life was this stressful.
No one ever did.

-_-

And to think that it is far more important than whatever you achieve in high school is just the last straw.

My course isn't meant for ppl like me. No. It definitely isn't.

It's meant for people who actually can work. Who actually is hardworking or simply isn't lazy.

Which is so totally opposite from what I am.

I have handed up my assignments on time and all but so what? My results are stinking like a pile of shit.

I thought I had chosen the perfect set of subjects for me but I may have just screwed myself over.

That set.. is like, the perfect set. A little bit of this a little bit of that. Perfect for me.

But who did I actually think I was?
A boy who passed his Additional Mathematics in Form 5 only once out of 6 times.
A boy who thought he wasn't weak in mathematics but just unlucky as he could understand most of the stuff tought.

Has the boy gotten out of his mind?
TO ACTUALLY TAKE A SUBJECT CALLED :



Yr 12 for South Australian syllabus.

Note the word "specialist"

From dictionary.com:
specialist
-an expert who is devoted to one occupation or branch of learning
-One who is devoted to a particular occupation or branch of study or research


eh, hello alex of 7 months ago.
To take specialist maths is also basically to mean that you are actually SPECIALISING in MATHEMATICS.

WHICH IS SO NOT MY FORTE?!

My forte would be.. let's see, something to do with communication.. presentation.. or language basically. Or something fun like.. "design an advertisement banner/poster!"
:/

Mathematics.
I don't hate it.
It's just not my kinda thing.

Hey i get the fun part of it and all.. and the logical part of it.
I get why some ppl are crazy over it.
And why some ppl just got the naturally grasp of the subject.

But it's not my strong point.
I hate to admit this but.. I actually think I suck in Maths.
:(
And I thought I was good.
Just 'unlucky'.

My mind works far too slow to process these numbers and funny algebraic stuff in my head.
=(

My other subjects for my current course are okay.

On a totally different and irrelevant note,
I had this for lunch on Tuesday!



It's some.. wanton noodles garlic sauce with honey bbq chicken thing.

!!!
Nice. But quite costly.

Why the heck did I post that picture up.

I have no idea.

Back to my college life.
Which had been giving me some serious eyebags.
and a very tired face.

And oh yea.
I try so very hard to pay attention during class for specialist maths.
Because if you miss 1 minute of the class, the whole of the next hr is basically pointless cause you wouldn't understand anything.
I may be exaggerating but I dont care.

So anyway,
I will try my best to concentrate and understand everything that was being tought.
And each time I force myself,
I get a headache.
A painful one.
:(

Sometimes I like to feel the pain.. like some sign telling me that my brain is finally working after all these years.
But sometimes I feel it's just pointless and annoying.
I LIKE MATHS OKAY.
And my lecturer doesn't really make it any easier for me.
With her constant naggings and pressure.
SHE REALLY EXPECTS HER STUDENTS TO STUDY 24/7!!!!
JUST BECAUSE I THINK SHE WAS LIKE THAT LAST TIME DURING HER STUDY DAYS,
NOT EVERYONE CAN LAH~

Ok i wasted so much time blogging.
When I should be resting now until I am called up
for the semi-final 2.

gdnite world.


-alexeO-